VIDEO via Tannusen's communicator, ACTION optional for Nova

[feckinboomstick]

[It starts off as just voice. Looks like Tannusen switched this on in a bag, and the reason for this bit of sneaky behavior is slowly becoming clear-]

Voice activated lift my skinny white arse, been yellin' at this useless souped up piece of horse shite for five goddamn minutes now-

It isn't funny, Tannusen!

Quit your feckin' gigglin' an' help me!

[No dice, the tiger just keeps trying not to break something with laughter as the annoyed Irishman digs himself deeper into his foul mood.]

ELEVEN.

ELEVEN YE RUSTED PIECE OF AMERICAN DOG SHITE, ELEVEN!

.... ELEVEN!

[Now the camera is out, mostly because the man in question has his back turned, trying to scale up along the sides of the elevator using the hand rails]

AYE THEN, LISTEN TO ME WHAT WHEN I TALK TO YE!

[Cooley, a smooth, female, automated voice answers, ever tranquil.]

Please state your floor slowly and calmly

[This doesn't seem to help his anger management at all.]

CALM? CALM, I'LL SHOW YE CALM! STICK IT UP YER ARSE YE FECKIN' AUTOMATIC COW!

ELEVEN!

ELEVEN!

TAKE US TO ELEVEN GODDAMNIT WHAT BEFORE I BLAST A HOLE IN YOUR TIN SIDIN'! YE THINK I'M JOKIN' WITH YE?!

TANNUSEN, STOP STANDIN' THERE AN' QUIT LAUGHIN'-

[The priest whirls his head around to look at the tiger, catching sight of the communicator]

... TURN THAT BEDAMNED BLASTED THING OFF, YE FECKIN' PILLOCK!

Comments

[action]

[black_black_heart]

[ And Tannusen, who has a perfectly passable american accent and thus could have gotten them out of this situation ages ago, just continues to laugh himself sick.

And film, of course.

Do it for the vine, Cass! ]

Please remain calm.

[ That was the damn elevator, of course. ]

Re: [action]

[feckinboomstick]

[REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

The smaller man hurls himself from his position on the handrails and attempts to latch onto Tannusen in the hopes of yanking away the communicator, swearing magnificently]

GIMME THAT, YE SOGGY BAG OF BELLENDS!

[black_black_heart]

Such language!

[ Tannusen, of course, just holds the phone up way out of reach. Go on short stuff, climb him. ]

Remain calm, Cass!

[feckinboomstick]

[HE WILL.

HE IN FACT, IS]

I'LL BE CALM WHEN I JAM THIS COMMUNICATOR SO FAR UP YER ARSE YE'LL BE ABLE TO SEND TEXT MESSAGES TO YER FECKIN' KIDNEYS!

[black_black_heart]

[ Tannusen can barely stay upright with that fresh wave of laughter, continuing the game of keep-away.

And here's the elevator chiming in again-- ]

You have not selected a floor number.

[feckinboomstick]

[AAAAA]

UUUUUP YOURS YE COW!

[Properly emphasized with a hurled charm that he didn't activate because as angry as he is, breaking public property is bad.

And expensive]

[black_black_heart]

[ Tannusen's laughter was making him so unsteady on his feet that having Cassian hanging off of him like an enraged monkey was really going to have only one effect, after a few moments of it.

Aaaand down they went! ]

[feckinboomstick]

[SCREAM

He clambers for the communicator as he drags Tannusen down to his level, trying to pry his fingers off of it or shut it off or whatever comes first]

[black_black_heart]

[ Tannusen ends up collapsing all the way onto the floor, dragging Cass down with him with his weight. The maniac laughter continues right up until the video cuts off with a final, struggling shot of the ceiling of the elevator.

Okay, and it continues after, it's just not being broadcast now. ]

Oh, is this the sort of thing I need to do to get you on top?

[ Tannu, no.

Well... maybe yes.

But no. ]

[feckinboomstick]

[INTERNAL SCREAMING]

This is a public lift, keep your bedroom talk in the bedroom!

[Or Velvet Lust where it's expected to be heard]

Video

[tevinteraltus]

[ He takes a deep breath before responding, because his mind reaches several conclusions at once.

Tannusen is not straight (a term he learned from Tannusen actually). Tannusen is a very private person. This is not Tannusen, but is being transmitted from Tannusen's communicator. He recently compiled an exhaustive amount of information on the afterlife to comfort Tannusen's mind as he would have to kill someone he loves soon.

Cassian is Tannusen's lover.

Kaffas...

That being covered relatively quickly, he closes the book he's reading, setting it aside on a small table next to the bed on which he's reclined and trading it for a wine glass, half-full of red currently, a small smirk teasing the corner of his mouth. ]

The voice seemed to know what it's talking about, Cassian. Perhaps you should listen. It may be more responsive.

Re: Video

[feckinboomstick]

[DON'T YOU EVEN START]

YE SHUT YER DAMN MOUTH BEFORE I COME OVER THERE AND SHUT IT FOR YE!

[He shrieks as he dangles from one of Tannusen's arms like a fat kid on a pull up bar]

Video

[tevinteraltus]

[ He can't help but laugh at that. ]

You seem a bit preoccupied, sir.

[ He should call him sir, right? He takes a sip of his wine. He is his boss, after all. ]

Re: Video

[feckinboomstick]

[STOPIT]

Make yerself feckin' useful and talk this hulkin' feck off useless obstinate piece of over hyped technology into haulin' it's two ton tin arse up to eleven goddamnit!

video

[tevinteraltus]

[ Yeah, he's still laughing, but he clears his throat in an effort to steady his voice. ]

Very well, seeing as you are my employer and all. Would you mind, awfully, holding your communication device aloft so she may have a clear hearing of my voice?

Ah, and cease your shouting for a moment, if it isn't too difficult.

Re: video

[feckinboomstick]

[There is one, tiny little wheeze as Cassian has to get his breath back about him, before taking out his own goddamn communicator and trying to clamber back onto the handrails.]

If yer muckin' about over there with this I'm goin' to take it out on yer hide.

video

[tevinteraltus]

...Well, that was a bit uncalled for.

[ The comment was more to himself as Cassian raised the device. Once, at least from the video, it was in position, he cleared his throat again. ]

Elevator, Eleventh Floor, please.

Re: video

[feckinboomstick]

Thank you. Heading to: Eleventh floor.

[The chipper coolness of the robotic voice is somewhat dampened by the foul muttering in Gaelic from the priest as he lowers the communicator again]

Takin' the goddamn stairs next time, who the bloody hell thought it was a good idea to put this shite in a lift?

video

[tevinteraltus]

I find it's rather useful, actually. How many towers do you contend with in your own world?

[ He pauses. ]

We have similar things, in the Imperium, though they require no voice activation.

[ And now he just sounds fascinated. Sorry, Cass. ]

Technology serves where magic is lacking. The brilliance of the sentient mind at work! Fascinating, isn't it?

Re: video

[feckinboomstick]

Oh it's all there bloody is now in most places, anywhere important's got a lift in it now.

[Of course, nothing like elevators reared their ugly heads in Cassian's world until the late 1800's early 1900's. Not much by way of magic until the magic decided to show its ass.]

... I liked the ones with the buttons, they don't give ye any goddamn sass and when it breaks ye just punch the red button till the lobby gets sick of the alarm.

[k2so]

Every time I see one of your posts I get more concerned about your stress levels an anxiety.

[feckinboomstick]

I'd not have a single anxiety issue if TANNUSEN WOULD LEAVE OFF BEIN' A BLOODY PRAT FOR FIFTEEN GODFORSAKEN MINUTES.

[k2so]

I'm afraid that such miracle is unlikely to happen.

Take a few deep breaths.

[feckinboomstick]

NAE I WILL YELL AND HYPERVENTILATE ALL I LIKE!

[k2so]

That will be really harmful to your blood pressure.

Is there a point to yelling all your replies? because I'm not seeing it.