[video]

[chicken_kun]

[you know Bartolomeo only uses video because he loves shoving his fangy face into everybody else's faces. Especially when he's feeling trolly.]

Okay, maybe I ain't been here as long as some of y'all but...serious question. We all get the paper, right? Doesn't it bug you even a little bit just how much people in these cities like to murder the shit out of each other?

[there is a certain irony in Bartolomeo the Cannibal appearing bothered by murder. Spoilers, he's not, but he's super curious.]

And it ain't even overpowered assholes like us, it's the locals. Like, damn, man, we get a delicious selection of bounties every other week because the locals are straight up murdering the ever-loving fuck out of each other. What the hell? I'm a damn pirate and I don't see this much blood on a regular basis. Nobody else thinks this is kinda weird? Or are we all just hungry for that sweet, sweet bounty money? I betcha that's it, huh? Y'all just want the cash and don't care whose blood had to be spilled to get it there. [super-fangy grin] Yeah, I knew it. You're all just as gross as me.

And here at the beginning I was a little tiny bit worried that the Guardians would be a thorn in my ass and would put a stop to my hard work. Heh! They can't even stop the bloodbath, so of course they're not gonna get in the way of a crime boss. It's kinda nice. Thanks for doing such a shit job, authorities.

[really, he's in a mood and it's either this or he mocks people for not even knowing that their loved ones have disappeared. Barty could be a hell of a lot worse but he'd rather poke the beehive of law enforcement]

Comments

video;

[om_nom_namur]

The hell y' talkin' 'bout? People'd murder the shit outta each other all the damn time back home. Why the hell y' think my Old Man had t' go 'round plantin' his flag on a buncha islands an' shit? Jus' cuz a buncha other dumbasses thought it was cool an' copycatted him don't mean 's a thing pirates usually do.

video;

[chicken_kun]

[SUP NAMUR]

Nah, nah, I get that, but that's pirate-on-pirate action, right? Or, well, pirate-on-civilian but here, shit. It's like nobody can keep it in their pants.

video

[orangeoutlaw]

Maybe they're just bored or something. Everyone's living too close together with nothing to do.

[is currently on a roof somewhere in Genessia City though mostly in shadow]

video

[chicken_kun]

[rooftops look comfy right about now]

Ohh that's a good theory. I like that one.

I'm pretty bored, too, but you don't see me stabbing people left and right. Man, even that doesn't sound fun! Wanna do something cool, Ace-sama?

[Video]

[kalmaleader]

I have been wondering that myself. Humans are so curious, killing each other in rather bizarre ways.

[He raises his two right eyes.]

So you call yourself a crime boss?

[Video]

[chicken_kun]

[well now, this is interesting. Talking creatures that say more than their names!]

That's right, I do. Ain't bragging, just a fact of life.

video;

[whiteas]

Care to share which city you're in or provide some proof of crimes? All it sounds like to me is that you've been sitting around hoping someone will notice you if you whine loudly enough or someone would've noticed you much sooner.

[ Weiss has no problem mocking him back, especially since he seems like the kind of guy to get upset about it and give some actual useful information besides 'weh no one's coming after me yet.' ]

video;

[chicken_kun]

C'mon, sweet cheeks, you really think I'm that dumb? [surprisingly, Barty's more about bragging than he is about whining] Nah I'm just really surprised, y'know? I'd have thought I'd have to be looking over my shoulder constantly and yet, here we are.

video; private

[rulerofme]

This is Bartolomeo. I guess since he wants to publicly admit to being a criminal, I imagine we Guardians have probable cause to investigate him pretty extensively.

video

[youfool]

[A very brazen crime-boss; Ted wants to whoop his behind. But fat chance of an open conflict. Guess he'll have to settle for words.]

That's an interesting view. Justice, after all, is reactive, not proactive. Would you really like them to stop crime before it starts? Are you familiar with the one from your world named "Akainu"? I recall he too favored such a bud-nipping philosophy.

But your point isn't lost; for a toy world, the toys mean an awful lot of death. A chilling trend.

video

[chicken_kun]

[Ted no, he'd destroy you without breaking a sweat.

The mention of Akainu has him scowling, though, showing his fangs]

Did I say one word about justice? I don't think so. It ain't about that, I'm just wondering what about this place makes its usual residence decide to up and murder each other for no apparent reason.

Video

[rulerofme]

It's impossible to stop every single murder in cities full of people. I don't know a single world where that is possible.

Video

[chicken_kun]

[ooh look at all the nice fish swimming up to his bait]

Maybe, maybe. But don't you gotta wonder a little what makes this place different from sleepy little towns where nobody even so much as breaks a window on a regular afternoon?

video;

[superficially_busy]

I personally find it curious that none of us amulet-holders are ever targeted for any of these violent crimes.

[Don't mind the tiny maid doll sweeping her sweet little heart out across a bookshelf behind her.]

...Then again, I suppose it can be attributed to us being "overpowered assholes."

video;

[chicken_kun]

...who shot who in the what now? I don't know what that means, kiddo.

[Video]

[redcinemareel]

Or maybe everyone's turning a blind eye to you because you're not worth our time.

[She's never heard of him, and her caring about his reputation won't change, unless he makes it worthwhile.

Also it's a challenge so he can do something extravagant down the line so they can arrest him.]

[Video]

[chicken_kun]

Shyeah, if I believed that I'd go sit in a corner and cry.

[it's not his own reputation he cares about, really]

[captain_by_the_book]

[ Have a disgruntled face on your screen. ]

I have just recently moved to Attleton. Trust me. I know.

[ His new suburbia boredom home turned out to be full of murder. He's so lucky they never did a showing of Stepford Wives in the galaxy far, far away, or he would be even twitchier. ]

[chicken_kun]

Ohhh, Attleton. I heard it's pretty weird there! Whaddaya think? Tons of fun or not so much?

Video

[reachnotflexibility]

I'm used to dealing with scum like this back home. The amount of bloodshed here is hardly shocking. [He's been working off a planet with three rival gangs; this is nothing.] Besides, we're all not in it for the money. Some of use just want to do some good while we're stuck on this rock.

Which might include arresting you. You do realize that you just announced to everyone, civilians and guardians alike, that you're a crime boss, don't you?

Video

[chicken_kun]

Oh, good. Somebody else with a rough background.

[a snide cackle] I sure did. But did you also happen to notice that I didn't necessarily say a damn word about what kinds of crimes I've committed? Anybody can claim to be a crime boss the way anybody can claim to be a doctor or a teacher. Gonna check my references?

[k2so]

People hurt each other all around the galaxy, maybe is the fact that we live in a very limited space and thus all those crimes are more noticeably here.

A pirate, hm?

[chicken_kun]

That's right. Bartolomeo the Cannibal, nice to meet you. Or not. What's up?

video;

[tevinteraltus]

[ If Dorian is bothered by Bartolomeo's appearance, he doesn't seem so. Though, he's also sitting in what must me a mage's laboratory, and seems much more intent on whatever the black carved thing is in front of him than he is the camera. ]

Statistically, being that "Genessia" is comprised not one, but four cities and the news is only delivered bi-weekly, the number of murders is surprisingly low.

video;

[chicken_kun]

[oh sure, bring statistics into it. He can't argue with that]

I dunno, I've seen towns where pirates hold sway that are a hell of a lot quieter. [only half a lie] Just sayin', it doesn't take a genius to make observations.