genessia | nine ticks; text

who the hell even nominated me for heroic??
its because im the only around here with a sweet cape right?
what are you guys even ON
whats your criteria for that

anyway so speaking of heroic shit
summer is coming for realsies and its my job as hella amazing media overlord to provide you with movies full of literally all the explosions and mind numbing violence
and maybe some actual good movies too idk well see how it goes
we need to pump out some sweet blockbusters everyone can watch the fuck out of
get hyped genessia

casting is open for these various masterpieces
let me know if anything on this list is something you wanna do
- wanna blow up some shit and let me film it in exchange for money
- want to be in a movie
- can act
- probably cant act but wanna try anyway
- know how to operate film equipment
- willing to pretend to do stupid shit for money
- willing to be a human crash test dummy / stuntman
- wanna collab for the greatest soundtrack in existence
- got crazy plot ideas youre willing to sell to me
- have a really hot bod / face
- can open this soda for me its giving me a hard time

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That... is not at all what I meant. [ He was taken aback for a second or two and honestly had to hold himself back from reacting too strongly. To be reprimanding was probably better. ] Isn't that more than a bit inappropriate for someone your age to be talking about?

[ ... ] What? I can't crack jokes about people fucking on film?

When you happen to be barely -- if even -- a teenager? No, Dave. You really don't.

[ Never mind that it was distasteful at any age. ]

Ohhhh my fucking god. [ facepalms ]

While we're being honest, the vulgarity to word ratio in your speech is also a bit concerning.

Can we go back to the part where you think I'm eight before we go preaching like a pretentious fucklord about my apparently shitty use of vocabulary?

I don't think you're eight. [ Good grief. ] I'm not belittling your age, I'm only attempting to make a point.

The point about maturity being based on age and how you're a prude?

I beg your pardon if finding jokes about starring in adult cinema to be distasteful is too old fashioned for you. I said nothing about your maturity.

Dude, it was totally implied.

Fine. Take it as you will, but offense was not my aim.

I'm seventeen.

...what? [ Give that a few moments to process. ] You're telling the truth, aren't you?

Why the asslicking shit would I make that up?

[ He put his hands up in an attempt to placate him. ] I sincerely apologize. Evidently I made a significant error and spoke out of turn. [ How was he seventeen? If this was some kind of time travel nonsense... ]

Apparently puberty failed me by skipping me entirely or something. It's getting a little irritating. You get it, right? You look young as hell and you're probably forty or something.

Yes, I imagine it would be quite frustrating. I'm sorry to have added to it. [ He squinted. "Young as hell?" ] Not quite. I'm thirty-two.

I just want the gossip papers to write rumors about me dating the other celebs but they refuse to. Something about it making everyone look like a pedophile. [ DRAMATIC EYEROLL - oh wait. he's wearing sunglasses. nobody sees it. ] See, that's still higher than your face.

You want to be a victim of the rumor mill? [ To each his own...? ] I really don't know what you're talking about.

Victim? No. I want to troll the fuck out of everyone trying to profit from my image by making my own rumors. [ vague gesture at his own face ] How am I not perfectly clear right now? Your face doesn't match 32, dude.

That may not work now that you've announced it in a public discussion. [ Or maybe it would. There were a lot of rather dull people around. ] No, you were clear. I merely don't see how it doesn't match.

Or now they'll think I made every rumor about myself and question it all. [ Diabolical. ] Because you got like Disney princess eyeballs. It takes five years off.

Edited 2017-06-10 23:10 (UTC)

Theoretically speaking you could sit and do nothing and still take all the credit for the decline of your own PR. You could consider that a clever feat. [ This conversation was ridiculous. It did show that Dave knew how to think ahead of the majority, though. Or he just cheats. ] ... I'm going to assume that's a compliment. Perhaps the oddest I've ever received, but a compliment regardless.

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