nine ticks; text

[stairsbro]

who the hell even nominated me for heroic??
its because im the only around here with a sweet cape right?
what are you guys even ON
whats your criteria for that

anyway so speaking of heroic shit
summer is coming for realsies and its my job as hella amazing media overlord to provide you with movies full of literally all the explosions and mind numbing violence
and maybe some actual good movies too idk well see how it goes
we need to pump out some sweet blockbusters everyone can watch the fuck out of
get hyped genessia

casting is open for these various masterpieces
let me know if anything on this list is something you wanna do
- wanna blow up some shit and let me film it in exchange for money
- want to be in a movie
- can act
- probably cant act but wanna try anyway
- know how to operate film equipment
- willing to pretend to do stupid shit for money
- willing to be a human crash test dummy / stuntman
- wanna collab for the greatest soundtrack in existence
- got crazy plot ideas youre willing to sell to me
- have a really hot bod / face
- can open this soda for me its giving me a hard time

Comments

Video

[pretty_handy]

[Ildikó still has some difficulty figuring out how the communicator works so he sticks to video for now. Which means Dave can see a woman with fours arms dressed like she belongs to a dungeon and dragons rpg.

She has way too many questions about Dave's post but the main one is;]

What's a blockbuster?

Not sure about the rest yet but I can help you with the soda, kiddo.

video;

[stairsbro]

[ that's a lot of arms, pretty lady. ]

It's a movie but with a huge budget and mostly action as the plot. So, uh, in case movies aren't a thing - it's a story you make out of moving pictures and it's a heroic one. With explosions.

It's a twist cap.

video;

[pretty_handy]

[More to hug you with, Dave. Also more to punch people in a fight too, which is mostly what Ildikó uses them for.]

No, movies are not a thing where I come from but that sounds like a real life book. Except with explosions. Explosions make things more entertaining.

Lucky for you, I managed to master the use of my hands as I grew up. Where are you?

video;

[k2so]

[DID SOMEONE SAY BLOW SHIT UP.]

Do we have to be the ones providing the explosives?

[KAY, NO.]

video;

[stairsbro]

Nah. As long as there's explosions and we're, like, doing it within the designated explosion safe zone.

video;

[k2so]

Excellent. I might now the right people for this.
Or at least I know people who end causing explosions wherever they go.

[Video]

[sarcaskick]

I mean, they nominated me for most heroic too.

So.

Grain of salt, etc.

[Video]

[stairsbro]

Didn't you save Alice from yourself? Yeah, I'm thinking this is a purely ironic nomination.

But it might have something to do with looks because you've got like those extreme superhero eyebrows and hair that would look good in a breeze.

[Video]

[sarcaskick]

[ That's... he didn't even consider the possibility that there was possibly any real thought put into his nomination.

Huh.

He decides to focus on the flatter instead, running a hand through the aforementioned hair. ]

I rock what I've got, that's true. Didn't know eyebrows were a heroic feature, though.

[video]

[eatsfish]

The criteria for being heroic should be rather obvious, shouldn't it?

Are any of your films going to include these "kaiju" [ He added finger quotes there. ] you went to such great effort to inform me of?

[video]

[stairsbro]

Not really. I used to have some pretty fucked up ideas about what a hero actually was. I don't know what the fuck qualified me.

Holy shit. Now they are.

text;

[unhappy]

If I act for you do I have to be nice to the other actors?

text;

[stairsbro]

nope
be as big of a dick as you want
just not to me bc i have the paychecks

[Text]

[aurabble]

Are you doubting my judgment?

Can I be in a movie?

[Text]

[stairsbro]

it fucking was you
i knew it
what the hell man

obviously

text;

[moviemagic]

What the hell did you do to that can of soda to make it not want to open?

text;

[stairsbro]

i called it a whore and insulted its family
ok so you know soda cans
of course you do
you know how you have to pull the tab??
the tab came off without opening the can

text;

[needssouls]

Yet you don't mention what exact movies these will become. Just that they will be a thing.

text;

[stairsbro]

i did too say what kind of movies
action with explosions
im not gonna go handing off scripts and plotlines until i know whose out there

[legendaryoutlawstar_lord]

Okay, don't know how I missed this but I totally check at least a few of those boxes.

Count me in dude, just keep me out of the really embarrassing shit until I know how this election thing's turning out, cool?

[stairsbro]

nice ok so i got at least one leading lady and a dude
how good is your acting

uh
define embarrassing

[notaraccoon]

[WELL. "Blow stuff up for money"? That gets the attention of everyone's favorite space raccoon.]

You need bombs for this stuff?

I can make bombs. And I can blow stuff up. You ain't gonna find better bombs than mine.

What's the pay like?

[stairsbro]

yeah i dont have a cgi guy
so were doing real stunts for this shit
its better that way anyways everyone will tell you

ok so this is a big budget piece my dude
and the budget is going towards kabooms
how much you need to make this shit look fucking awesome
also without killing people
i dont need a nuke
its cars and a blood-filled dummy and
some robots
a structurally unsound building
and like a bunch of other smaller things
all need to go BOOM
in the most entertaining way possible

text;

[primulas]

I don't wanna be in a movie but I wanna hear more about blowing stuff up.

text;

[stairsbro]

dang
everyone here is so fucking violent
ok i need to destroy a truck in the most flashy destructive manner possible
big booms
i want this shit to be dangerous as hell to film