genessia | video

[When the feed turns on, Cassian and Bodhi are sitting outside in the garden after cleaning and putting away the decorations of the home-warming party. By the small pond, Cassian‘s mudkip pokemon plays and splashes around while the vanillite freezes water droplets in mid air and turns them into ice while giggling.

Kay, the one who set the camera, comes into view holding his cat Fest in one hand and ice teas in the other. The image of a group of 'radical terrorists' Palpatine acused them to be doesn't fit them. Instead, this is a view that says: We are comfortable. This is our life now. We're not about to bring a war here.

The droid doesn't sit down but stays close to Cassian, petting the cat, and finally looks up at the camera.]

It had come to our attention that with the arrival of people from our world some things need to be explained. We would like to shed some light on the issue and ease any possible confusion about our endeavors back home.

Thank you, Kay. [Cassian gives him a smile that shows more warmth than he would let on in public under normal circumstances.] Emperor Palpatine‘s accusations against us members of the Rebel Alliance, or Alliance to Restore the Republic, were heavy. I understand if some of you are alarmed, but we have no intentions to wage war here. We understand that to battle here won’t save any lives at home.

[He pauses, struggling to hold on to the placidity he has been wrangled into for this broadcast.] Make no mistake, lives are being lost at home every day. The Empire is no benevolent government spanning the stars, it‘s a cruel dictatorship which will sacrifice millions, even billions of lives to keep its citizens enslaved. When we died fighting it, we died trying to stop a new weapon which could destroy entire planets with one shot. They have no qualms to use it. We fell victim to it.

But it‘s one word against another, and we don’t expect you to take sides. We just ask that we may live our new lives in peace. My duty is to protect and guard Attleton. That includes any Imperial citizens who choose to make it their home.

[OOC: Specify if you'd like a reply from someone specific]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Clearly you've never thrown a watermelon at someone. Or gone up against someone using leeks.

[Hand on his hip.]

a leek sounds like an awfully useless weapon.

Watermelons, though....I can see the potential.

Fruit can pack quite a punch. You just have to put your body into it.

So it's not about blueberries?

I think I prefer to punch people the classic way, with my fist.

[Jaune, you are confusing him so much.]

...no?

You wanna go?

Sparring, I mean.

What about the galactic morons?

Not right now, I'm needed here. [Cassian is far less calm than he looks like and Kay wants to keep an eye on him.] But I'd like that any other time.

[Give him a seconds to put 1 and 1 together.] Wait, all this time you were talking about Thrawn?

I understand. I think. Cool. I'm not hard to find if you ever get the chance.

[Now he's confused.] The bad guy is a shrimp?

Thank you. Don't get me wrong, I'd enjoy the sparring but you caught me at a bad moment. I'm K2SO and...weren't you at our housewarming party?

No, he's a chiss. [Yes, saying that is superhelpful, thanks Kay]

It's okay. There's always time to spar. [He nods.] I'm Jaune. I was Weiss's pokemon but we're actually just friends. But I guess I fight for her so that counts. That party was a lot of fun.

That's the space equivalent of sea food?

True. You were...? What sort of evolution are you?

[Kay glances to the pond where the pokemon play. Are they goign to evolve into humans? He's already taking care of a really difficult adult one, he doesn't know how to handle kids!!!]

No. I don't think he's comestible but if you want to try that, it will fix a lot of our problems.

An Arcanine. Joan is my sister. Joan, Jaune. I have seven others.

[The last part is true. He says it with a completely straight face.]

You want me to cook him. Would he taste good?

And what level did you have to reach to turn into human? I never talked to any Joan, I think. But nice to meet you, Jaune.

[Don't lie to the poor droid, he doesn't know better.]

I'm not really picky, you could eat him raw if that's your thing. Chances are he's poisonous, though.

Weiss says it was level thirty...five. Nice to meet you too, Kay.

[He's sorry he's just rolling with it.]

Maybe I could just cook him and then admire it and take a picture to put on my blog and not eat him?

I thought pokemon could reach higher levels without this kind of transformation happening. It must have been quite the change for you.

[Sure, he looks very sorry.]

Jokes aside, I am almost sure that is against the law. Almost.

[Shrugs.] You know what they say, puberty sucks for everyone.

[He slumps in disappointment.] Are you sure?

So I've heard. No droids has ever gone through it.

Yes, I am sure. besides, if you ate him he would just come back to life eventually. But if sea food is what you want, I can ask Cassian to cook some for you.

...I'm sorry. It's awkward and messes up your voice a lot so you're not missing out.

It's okay, it's more of the seafood justice thing, like doing something right and getting rid of a bad guy at the same time. The food was delicious.

Edited 2017-07-01 22:01 (UTC)

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[ Cassian's not going to save him but he is going to sit and listen and enjoy that it's Kay turn to Deal With This. Couldn't happen to a more deserving robot. ]

[WOW, Cassian, WOW. RUDE. You could have warned him.]

[ Says the droid who is encouraging chissibalism! ]

[Ey, for all Kay knows Jaune could have Ewok blood in him and all this is actually encouraging him to embrace his cannibalistic heritage. He's doing the kid a favor.]

Edited 2017-06-30 21:32 (UTC)

[ Great, now you've given him nightmares of Ewok!Pikachu. Thanks. ]

[Can't be worse than normal Ewoks, let's be real.]

[ Hey, they don't let any food go to waste. You gotta admire that - even if it pains you. ]

[Damn true.]