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Hey so, bit of a weird question. Anyone here ever heard of Torchwood, and could maybe point me how to get back to contacting the local branch? That'd be really handy, yeah?

Year and star system coordinates would also be fantastic, but I'm not holdin' my breath waitin'.

[Bites her bottom lip in thought.]

[She doesn't even know which universe this is. Much less how she got here without a dimension cannon or where everyone she was with went. Maybe they're here. But then maybe even saying their name depending on the universe is dangerous. Luckily, she's had 5+ years (give or take for literal dimension rewinds and time in the vortex) of experience in learning how to do codes.]

Here's a fairytale you've probably never heard before.

Once upon a time there was a big bad wolf. She wandered a city of metal filled with metal men. [Too dangerous to even say the world cyberman until she learned more!] She thought she was on a mission to hunt down her lost prince. But she was actually on a mission to find home. Bit like Dorothy from Wizard of Oz if you know it. And one day she met a man who wasn't a prince at all. He was a very brainy professor. There was even another man who started off as a mouse but turned into a lion full of courage, saving worlds he never even knew existed. And a really flirty captain who was probably too pretty for his own good. They weren't off to find a wizard. Just a blue box.

The big bad wolf ran away from home and her pack over and over and over again, but no matter how many times she ran, and how many new friends she made or which universe she fell into, something was always calling her back. 'Pparently you can't escape your family that easily. That or the Big Bad Wolf's mum was seriously terrifying and would fight a werewolf for diamonds and totally win.

Thanks for listening, Ta!

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"Ah.... Nope. Not a Noble. Not even sure who Donna is. And I'll give you a heads up now, I have always been terrible at the keeping secrets about future knowledge which is past knowledge thing straight. Even from past versions of myself."

[She took a deep breath.] "Alright, basics then. I'm from ahead of where he is here. So I'll try to only tell you things he already knows. You can call me Amy. And you are?"

What happened to Don--

Never mind.

[Rubs between her eyes.]

[Such a headache.] You met yourself? [WARY AS HECK. Because wow that's a good way to create a paradox. Maybe she really is from before Rose, which might explain how the Doctor knew he could not, under any circumstances, let her touch her baby self. Or he'd die.]

I can't... I really can't tell you that. Yet. I'm sorry. Really sorry. [Her mouth is a thin grim line.] It's a Torchwood rule. And even if it doesn't get back to my boss, [Her father :V Well, sort of. Alternate universe re-married her Mum, it's a little WEIRD. Yanno. DOCTOR THINGS.] it might cause walls between universes to break, undo myself or him. Or... a half dozen other catastrophic things.

But nice ta meet ya, Amy. Hallo. [Waggles fingers.]

Is the T--

[Clicks teeth shut. There was a reason she was using code words only.] Blue box here? I can talk to her, find out... where everything went... Pear-shaped, yeah?

"Met myself.... I guess... twice. Let's see, once at Two Streams and once at the P.... ah. Let's just go with twice. Think it was twice anyway. Gets a bit hard to keep track sometimes." [Torchwood. anything like Unit? Nah, probably not.] "Not introducing yourself is a rule for your job, and your job... deals with the walls of the universe...?" [Maybe it was like Unit.]

"Yeah, she's here. I'm in my room right now, actually." [And here Amy thought that River and The Doctor were the only ones she spoke to when she wasn't crammed inside a human.] "Want me to go poke the Doctor so we can come pick you up?"

Doctor's fault? [Since they'd already called him that, and it wasn't... too uncommon an occupation.]

[As for the latter part... she has to think.]

[If he's after leaving her in a universe away, picked her up -- though it sounded like he didn't even know she was there yet?! -- or changed his mind, she's going to be so cross with him.]

[If he's from well before...]

[It's basically crossing the streams.]

What you said. About the Two Streams? There's a movie, called Ghostbusters from the 80s, and the famous line is don't cross the streams, because it might cause a paradox or destroy the universe or all of time and space.

[Sighs.]

[But the Doctor is the Doctor. Whatever version. And she needs to know.] What's he look like? Right now? [Gently chews her bottom lip.] If it's kinda indescribible, I might ask ya to bring him to a tea shop so I can get a good look and sneak over to the ship myself, yeah?

But... he didn't bring us here, right? [So... it wasn't the future Doctor changing his mind.]

[Was it the TARDIS? Rose's heart skips a beat. Even with the piece of herself, a daughter version left for her and the Meta-Crisis, maybe the TARDIS was having a bit of an emergency???]

"Depends who you ask. But since the second time saved me, and with me the whole universe, I think he only really gets blame for the first." [She wasn't sure Rory had ever forgiven the Doctor for what had happened with her older self. She'd really like to know what HAD happened with her older self, frankly. But they both got evasive when pressed.]

"Ghostbusters? So guessing you're from earth like me then. And probably just about as old," [she added with a grin.] "Don't worry, I won't tell him how old you are if you don't tell him how old I am."

"Right now? Bit too skinny. I keep trying to get him to eat more, but you know what that man is like. Can't sit still for a second. Sad face most of the time. Keep trying to fix that, but without anything much to run from that I've seen yet, hasn't been much I can do to help." [which irritated her.] "Even ordered his favorite food and he ignored it. Did drink a banana shake that first day though, so I suppose that's something. Fluffy hair. No bow tie, thankfully. Better still, no fez."

"Nah, don't think he did, considering how confused he was to meet me."

[There's a bit of a lineface about being from Earth.]

[Being from Earth and growing up in the 90s was so moot now that it hurt.]

[Too many universes, too many versions of Earth.]

[She did smile at the joke about ages however, although it was a bit forced until the description came in.]

[At which she instantly perked up, although the rest... so Amy was from after Pinstripes?] Bananas are his favorite food. [Quietly.] And jelly babies and jammy dodgers, and hot fudge sundaes on Widow Wept.

I guess that changes after--

[WHAT HAPPENED TO DONNA?!?!?!]

[She doesn't say anything, just nods slowly.] Yes. I think... seeing me will make him less sad. I mean. I hope. It did... before. [A small frown. Unless it was just the TARDIS, and then... maybe she shouldn't. No. She shouldn't.]

[Because she still might get mad and say something she'd regret and--]

[Deep breath.] Actually no, I better see the T-- her. Lady of the blue box first, yeah? She can tell me if I should talk to him or not.

I'm...

[Slowly, she thinks it through. Not a Torchwood thing, at BEST, the TARDIS needed her, at Worst, it still probably wouldn't destroy the universe.] I'm Rose. Sounds like you're from his future.

[Finger over her lips.] I'll tell you more in person. He's a little too clever with tech and while he wouldn't dare bug us, I wouldn't trust him not to eavesdrop if it's just available for him, yeah?

"Bananas?" [Oh the odd look Amy was giving her.] "Fish Fingers and Custard. Since the day we met." [She's now trying to see the Doctor choosing a banana over fish fingers, and can't even imagine it.] "Guess I'll try banana custard next time."

[Jammie dodgers made sense to her at least. Tardis self-destruct button? Really, Doctor?]

"Yeah, except, here's the thing. If I can' verify with him that he knows you, not sure he wants me inviting you in the front door, yeah? I swear, he loves this thing more than he loves anyone else or anything else. Ever. Not an ounce of sense of time between either of them, but I still can't just let you in on your say so," [he said, apologetically. She wasn't River, she couldn't just shoot someone in cold blood if they turned out to be an enemy.]

"Yeah, I'm from ahead of him. Recognized the tie right off, though."

[Congratulations Amy, you have COMPLETELY puzzled her.]

What?

Why would anyone eat that? I mean his tastes have always been a bit wacky even for... what he is but... What?

[She laughs and shakes her head.] Nah. Bananas. He's obsessed with them. Banana splits, banana milkshakes, blew up the sonic factories and replaced 'em with a banana grove. Even replaces guns with bananas. And told me "Always take a banana to a party, Rose." [Completely mimes his accent and mannerism.]

[And digs under her neck and pulls out her key on the chain.] I don't need the invite, I have a permanent standing one. [Dryly.] And...

[Frowns.] If he knows I'm here he'll either be really happy, or really upset. Or knowin' him? [Eyeroll.] Both.

We didn't part on good terms.

None of the times.

Problem is... Tell ya what, yeah? Meet me for tea and we can talk. I'll tell ya the problem and let you decide fer yerself, sound good?

"Oh, well swapping a gun for a banana I've seen. And oh, she was not happy with that," [Amy said with a laugh.] "If it wasn't for...well...everything, that might have been amusing, in hindsight."

[At the key her eyes widened, then narrowed as she examined it, then she nodded.] "You could have said that right off. But alright. Tea sounds great. Especially if it's actually wine."

[Not parting on good terms didn't sound promising to her.] "I'll be over as soon as I can figure out where we parked, and how to get to wherever you are."

[Grins, and laughs quietly, nodding even more quietly.]

I haven't tried out the other cities yet, so... Not that I'm adverse to exploring, yeah? Favorite part.

[Small happy sigh.] I haven't had time to actually have real drink since the night--

[She cuts off, just a sad smile, and even sadder eyes, tone going quiet again.] A bar with wine or real drinks would be fine too, yeah?

"Either or. Just let me know where I'm going. I'll grab my shoes and be there as soon as I can without alerting himself."

[Laughs.] You're a peach, thanks Amy. I'll let you know the location as soon as I find a good one.

[And indeed, not too long after, she'll be sitting at a bar and having sent Amy the map with a wolf pawprint circling the way.]

[She grabbed her shoes and money and headed out.]

Rose is sitting at the bar with a whiskey sour and spinning gleefully on a stool round and round in circles by the time Amy gets there.

If you get the feeling that she'd basically be so much like the 11th doctor it'd be ridiculous well then, you'd be completely correct!

She stopped in the entryway and stared at her. "You're a future regeneration?" she asked, jaw half unhinged. "You could have just said that!"

"What?" Rose fell off the stool.

Obviously helping with the totally not the same as the 11th doctor comparisons here.

"Wh-- Why would you think that???"

Doctor. Your ginger replacement for Donna is weird.

"Well, cause you said past, and Rule One. And that does explain all the freaking out about meeting the Doctor if you're worried about that sort of paradox. But I guess you could be from the past, I suppose. Or are you some other like him and all of you are just the same to your core?" she asked, offering her a hand up.

Rose took the hand up, keeping up with the logic and just numbly grabbed her stool again.

She opened her mouth at the last part. Right on the money...

Except no wait!

She wasn't the Meta-Crisis, she needed to find where he was. And avoid him not becoming a thing? Although... he'd always be a thing.

She was getting a headache.

She needed Donna.

Where was Donna anyway? But apparently Amy didn't know.

She gaped a little more, trying to keep up. "You said you know his tie... so you saw him just after he regenerated? Into a preference for--" Rose made a disgusted face, "Fish fingers and custard?"

A shudder. "Well, whatever, he needed black tea last time. As the version with the... tie. Now."

She ran a hand through her hair again, not even realizing how much like the Doctor when he was nervous that gesture was, or then again, maybe it was only the fluffy-haired Doctor who did it. And leather jacket.

"He..."

Rose blinked, and sipped some of her whiskey sour, cheerfully wiggling her feet at the feel of the straw. "The core is always the same, yeah. Even when... something crazy and unaccountable happens. Not just regenerations." She gave Amy a bit of a sideglance. Well, the Doctor could only cheat once, but maybe he just what... outlived Donna? Happily ever after, and in her old age she retired, and the Doctor was....

What.

Alone?

"How'd you meet him again?" she was a little hoarse. And rubbed her eyebrows in frustration. "He shouldn't... He wasn't supposed to be alone. See... that's what Donna promised me. He wanted me to look after another version of him. But I fought so hard to get back to him, and I couldn't bear the thought of losin' him again. But Donna promsied. He wouldn't be alone. She'd stay by him. Best mates, travelin' together forever."

It still wasn't enough for Rose. Even then. She just wanted to know what he really wanted. If he could be brave enough to ask for what he wanted. And well... one version did. Even if it was probably a con job between the two of him. She wasn't too happy about that.

Rose's voice is hoarse as she gets another sip. "If he's before all that... I dunno. Yeah. Paradox. Yanno."

Her eyes darkened and then dimmed. Maybe she should just go see what the TARDIS had to tell her.

"Then you're not him." she said taking her own seat after listening to, and watching all of that. "Given how much you're like him, couldn't blame me for wondering. Especially with how odd regeneration can be." She shrugged. "Not sure how much of that is safe to answer. River would probably just give a mysterious smile or something, say Spoilers, and let you babble. But I've never been as good with secrets as he is."

She waved down the bartender and ordered a wine.

"But I'll agree, he shouldn't be alone. The Doctor alone leaves you spotting him in old movies and waking up one morning to an Ood on the loo. Or waking up in the middle of the night to a crisis that apparently hasn't happened yet because for once instead of showing up years too late, he showed up months early, and left again without explanation. Never mind we have rules about the bedroom," she muttered.

"Am I?" Rose blinked in surprise, and laughed quietly. "I dunno if my Mum would atree with you or hate you for sayin' that."

Another surprise. "You've met ood?" Well, she shouldn't be surprised. Donna had freed them all, hadn't she? And there was a good stretch of time and space where humans were still using them as slaves between them.

"Ah," Rose's expression softened and she gestured to the wedding ring. "You're married? How long? Is he or um, she here too?"

"You are. Really, if it weren't for how well dressed you are and that you have what looks like a normal enough drink, I might have hugged you right off."

"Yeah, he kind of abandoned one at our house for a while. Seemed.... determined to do chores for us." She was still confused by that. "Not clue why, couldn't talk him out of it. Surprisingly good cook, actually."

She nodded tapping her ring with a bit of a grin. "He. Well, most of the time he. Does plastic even have a gender? Not that he's still plastic, but he was for a bit there. Nestene something or other. Oh you should have seen how jealous he was when he found out I snogged the Doctor night before our wedding," she said with an impish grin. Then she shrugged. "But it's always been him, even when he's stupid enough to think it isn't. You know how some little boys push a girl down or pull her pigtails as kids, cause he likes her and doesn't know it himself, or how to say it?"

Rose giggled intensely at that first part. "Sounds about right." She snapped her fingers. "I shoulda ordered a banana daiquiri. He accidentally invented it." She circled a finger backwards behind an ear signifying he was definitely a bit crazy, even to Rose, who was too much like him for her own good.

"Mmn..." Rose murmured softly and sipped her drink. "Oods are kept as slaves during certain parts. Sort of a psychic link thing that gets broken. I never found out the whole of it."

One more thing on a list to ask the Meta-Crisis Doctor about, and make sure to resolve in their parrallel universe. Someday. When she got back there, obviously.

She blinked, "You snogged the Doctor?" It was weird: the feeling about that. It was after her, and she was still angry enough with him that it didn't hurt. But it was still strange, having another woman admit that so easily and freely, when despite being madly in love with him for two years it took Rose so long and... and it wasn't the alien Doctor. And he left her over it...

"How'd he handle that?" she asked quietly, sipping her drink again, just listening carefully, a little bemused at herself. Maybe the anger was enough. She didn't view the regular 2-hearted alien Doctor as well "hers" anymore. He'd made it clear he didn't want her following after him, despite everything she'd done for him... or maybe because of that. Rose was a little bitter, but this helped. Talking about it casually. Something she'd always wanted and never been able to have.

"Ummmm," to the final question, Rose pinched the bridge between her eyes, "Closest I ever came was this bloke from the Estates I grew up in. Mickey. Few years older 'n me, but in that story that's not really a story? He was the mouse that became a lion. Except he wasn't really the type to push anyone around. More like he got pushed around and I always tried to rescue him." She downed the rest of her drink in one go, grateful for the burn, and buried her head in her arms temporarily, admitting accidentally, "'M STILL like that."

Poor human-Doctor. He was being pushed around by the other Doctor, fobbed off into another universe without consideration for what he wanted, without knowing for sure that Rose would really stay, just them trying to what, manipulate her into looking after him? Because no one else but her Mum would, and what a disaster that would have been, and sure maybe he could get a job with her Dad, and grow a new TARDIS and find the other universe Donna, but then what? Even trying to save the universe, or the multiverse, the Doctor got pushed around, and did the pushing around and someone had to stand firm and not allow for either.

"But go on, yeah?"

"He invented Banana Daiquiris? Yeah, he just finished telling us he invented Yorkshire Pudding too. But Rule One, so..." she grinned.

"We really did try to tell him no about looking after us." Wee bit guilty now.

She laughed a bit? "How did the Doctor handle me deciding that since I had just almost died, I was going to have the snog of my life the night before my wedding? He kidnapped my Fiance and gave us a pre-honeymoon present of almost getting killed by vampires. Actually, that was just the first. Three of us traveled a lot the night before the wedding. Best times. I had my Tardis, had my boys, had my adventures. Even if half the time he promised me one place we wound up somewhere else. Was never boring. Oh! Right! Three times. But not sure if that time counts, since I was waving at my future self at a distance. Oh.... That's coming up, we better make sure the Doctor brings us back to wave at our past when we get home."

"Well, Rory was like that. Except I was the one pushing him around a bit I guess." She sipped her drink smiling, then her smile feel away. "Okay, given Mels treated him the same way I did, tiny bit creepy, that." And a larger drink.

"You keep saying Rule One... but I swear his rule one is don't wander off and I break that so badly I crossed parrallel universes when he told me not to," Rose shrugged. Well, he didn't tell her not to. The other time. Now... he kind of definitely did. Jerk. Fine. Let him meet Amy and get snogged by his... whatever Amy was, instead.

She smiled about the stories of Rory and Amy, feeling immensely better already. He wasn't alone. He might have lost Donna, somehow, but he wasn't alone. And that was important. And she was going to live her own adventures to make him jealous because he couldn't even imagine what they'd all be. And maybe look up Rory and Amy's alternate universe counterparts if they still existed in Pete's world. "Yeah? Who's Mels? Another friend? Does she travel with the Doctor too?

She snorted. "He may say rule one is don't wander off, but rule one is 'The Doctor Lies'. Comes from a reliable source. One that isn't the Doctor."

She studied Rose for a long moment. "How are you about keeping secrets from him? Because I'm rubbish at it, and that's kind of the mother of all spoilers." She thought of her own phrasing and had an expression somewhere between a grimace and a smirk. Rory'd have laughed at that.

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