genessia | (no subject)

Ten wasn't sure if talking to some random stranger helped or not. Right now, he needs to focus on walking to Belle's - which may be a bit difficult as he can't seem to walk straight but someone is willing to help, which helped and couldn't think about not accepting help as all his focus is to keep himself from passing out in the street on the way.

Then knocks on Belle's door and winches when doing so.

The sad thing is - Ten barely drank anything and he's completely wasted.

Belle wasn't surprised to find the Doctor on her doorstep. She was surprised to small alcohol on his breath. She quickly slipped under his arm so that she could hold him up if he needed her too.

"Come on. Let's get you inside." She spoke softly, guiding him in and then kicking the door closed behind her. There have been a few changes to her place since Ten last visited though it was nothing extra ordinary. A few more books and a few devices that Belle had set to tinkering with.

"Sit. I'll get you some water." Belle sat him on the couch before stepping off towards the kitchen to fetch him something to drink. She was used to helping cure her fathers hangovers though that had been a rather short time in his life. Belle couldn't fault him, not after loosing her mother.

He's still amazed, that he's managed to maintain consciousness. Despite not being not being able to see well or speak well for that matter and helps with what he can lift his weight into her place; and his feet drag behind a little bit. He heard her about the water, however, the couch is cozy and his body quickly stretches out and may be completely passed out by the time Belle returns from the kitchen.

Lea had stuck around nearby, not wanting to leave the Doctor alone in his current state. He stayed back though, because he also didn't want to alarm the vaguely familiar young woman who answered the door by having a man in black lurking outside her house at night. He saw her concern for the Doctor, though, and saw her through the window settling him on the couch. Satisfied that he was in safe hands, Lea turned to leave, and if Belle didn't spot him through the window, would vanish into the night and head for home himself.

Edited 2017-08-06 00:16 (UTC)

Belle was far to focused on the Doctor to notice Lea's shadow. She returned with water and lifted his head to help him take small sips. She'd probably fetch him a bucket or something should he get sick in the middle of the night.

"Here." She spoke softly. "Take small sips."

She tried to remember where the spare pillow and blankets were. The couch wasn't horribly comfortable but she wouldn't be able to carry him anywhere else.

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He felt a little better at the least; not better enough to come back. Yes, he ran away and this hangover is awful. But he needed to - he needed to remove himself because he's the problem with whatever his future will bring and right now, he's not even sure why he's at Belle's besides needing a place to stay because Ten choose to make himself more human, in needing sleep. He can't just sleep - in the gutter. But maybe he deserves that.
Even if he knows very, very well he needs someone right now, even if Ten is near the point of being done with everyone.

He's just going to lie on the sofa and hate the timey wimey and this place.

Martha, of course, had heard the whole bloody confrontation, or at least the super loud part of it. She knew that there was no getting out of there, which was a bitter pill to swallow but swallow it she must. She understood why he had run, she might've done the same thing, but she wasn't sure how she found him, but she stood outside of Belle's.

She slipped in, unnoticed, watching the Doctor quietly. She sat on the edge of the couch, laying a hand on his arm.

"Found you."

The warmth feeling on his arm grabs his attention and pulls him, for the moment out of the deep darkness of his mind, "Hi." He remarks weakly, but his eyes look grateful to see her, "Yes. You did. How are you?"

"Better than you apparently," She responded quietly, giving him a knowing smile. Her hand found his, and squeezed gently. "I heard you, and I think I understand now."

He's not surpised, considering how loud Rose got at the end - which scared him. He didn't know she could be that vicious. Ten gives Martha a slight squeeze back, "Understand what?"

Re: For Martha August 2

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Again, lying on the sofa - almost wonders if all of this is krama for something or maybe this place is telling him that he shouldn't have any companions anymore.

Ten hears Amy in his head from their first-day meeting his next form that whatever happened to look violent and she didn't mention anyone else being there. That must to be path in the end he's destined to go down and with this happening he's not surprised at all now.

He should had stopped caring - he shouldn't have gotten so close. Stupid Time Lord - stupid!

Amy was let in and headed over to where he was laying on the sofa. She dropped down to sit on the floor, facing him. "So. Is it this face that's just sulky and mopy, or did something happen?" she asked, leaning back against whatever there was to lean against as she looked up at him from the floor. Her poor sad Doctor. She can hardly remember or imagine him sitting still, lying still like this was almost terrifying.

His eyes dart to the side when there's movement and then turns his head and looks in the other direction, nope not going to let you worm your way into his hearts. Too late with Ten and Belle but no one else.

"You could at least tell me why you seem determined to hate me then. am I the reason you left? Whatever it is about me that always makes you so upset to see me. Did you walk out on the Tardis and everyone else because you hate me that much, Doctor?" she asked, softly. A tear rolled down her face and she pushed it away, so he wouldn't see if he turned back to face her.

"Caring is dangerous. And no you weren't the reason I left." No hint of emotion no remorse and doesn't care that she's crying.

Edited 2017-08-04 03:04 (UTC)

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Re: For Amy August 3 (and her paid ran out, please don't mind the icons)

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Lea had come to this particular bar because he'd heard they served a drink that was on fire and he'd wanted to see if it was true. Turned out it was but it would take a few moments to make, so Lea was left standing at the bar looking around while his drink was prepared. The bar wasn't that busy on this particular night, which may have been why Lea's attention was drawn to one particular patron sitting in the corner at the far end of the bar, listen to an older sounding tune on the jukebox. The song was about heartache, and given the empty expression on the man's face it looked like he understood the feeling all too well.

Thus, when Lea's drink was handed to him and he'd paid for it, he approached the man in the corner, frowning slightly in concern. Upon closer inspection, he realized that he recognized the man; this was the guy who'd been asking for interesting stories on the network awhile back. Though if Lea didn't know better, he might have guessed it was the man's Nobody; he sure looked a lot like Roxas had that first week.

"Man, the last time I saw an expression that blank was on Siax, and he was grim even for a Nobody," Lea said by way of a greeting. "Not gonna bother asking if you're OK, but mind if I ask what happened?"

Ten doesn't seem to even notice anyone is there till Lea says something, he's just really spacing out.

"I'm done with people that's what happened." Stating completely without any emotion in the face or voice.

In other words, shoo - go away.

"Might not've been the best idea to come to a public place then," Lea said. "I mean anybody can just come right up and talk to you." Lea leaned on the bar, though he left a stool's worth of space between himself and the other man.

"And seeing you looking so grim, someone's bound to be concerned enough to do just that," he said. "Especially bartenders; if you believe movies, they're always asking people about their problems. Worse than psychologists." He took a sip of his drink, seemingly not bothered in the slightest by the fact that it was on fire. "Or maybe not; don't think any psychologists offer booze this good with their sessions."

Ten only stares back; whether or not he's actually making eye contact is very hard to tell. The juke box music changes - he needed to get something to drink and he can't be in his home. To be honest he doesn't know where he's going to go.

Well, those people should stop because caring for others just brings you pain in the end.

Lea honestly figured as much, but this was all part of his clever plan to help this guy out with whatever his problem was. Sora wasn't the only one who could pull of the 'helping random people' thing after all. Maybe.

The song on the jukebox changed. "OK, this song is just the definition of 'trying too hard'," Lea said, shaking his head. "Wonder what'll be next on the 'wallowing in gloom' playlist?"

When that failed to get any more of a response than his previous attempts, he sighed setting his drink on the bar and crossing his arms, slumping a bit to half-sit on the stool next to him. "Man, how does Sora make this look so easy?", he asked, knowing full well the other man could hear him. "He seems to be able to just jump in, make friends with someone, and help them out without even thinking about it. Hell, he even managed to forge a connection to someone with no heart, which is quite an achievement."

"Is it that I don't have the right look?", he said, glancing down at his outfit. "I mean, I know black leather doesn't exactly scream 'trustworthy hero-type', but I thought it was at least stylish. Maybe it's those big blue eyes of his; so sincere about everything. You know he's a good kid the moment you look at him; it's written all over that little spiky-haired face."

"Too bad he's not here," Lea sighed. "He's got enough heart for twelve people, and it looks like you could use a new one right about now."

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And continued in Belle's thread above!

hotheadwarmheart - 2017-08-05 23:57 (UTC) - Expand

We need to talk.

Love, Rose

Rose left the message on his comm, for Belle and anyone else who would help to tell him, and drew him a map to meet her for ice cream with pop rocks at 3 pm.

She'd wait until 8, after which point she'd give up and assume he wasn't coming.

She was worried about the way she signed it, but he said he loved her. At the same amount as Jack and Martha which she still found insulting, but it was a start. It might reopen old wounds that hadn't even begun to heal, but she doubted the wounds would close over just because of lying and pretending a different reality was truth either.

Rose wasn't in the mood for ice cream though, so she sat drinking pop and trying to do various sketches of what she imagined Jack's mother looked like.

Ten is lying around like usual and trying to read when he hears an annoying beep coming from somewhere and takes a few moments to figure out it's his comm device and lies there even more plastered to the sofa. He hasn't checked the network for days, and if that's Rose texting him - is afraid of what she might say because he left without telling anyone else.

After about fifteen minutes of beeping slowly gathers the nerve to slide over and look at it, inhales and holds and then looks.

Love? Why did she sign the message that way? Then looks at the clock it's already 2:55. He does run there - and arrives at 3:15 after getting a banana nut ice cream. More so to shove his mouth than to eat.

Then spots her. He hasn't shaved in days and looks like he is exhausted but he's there and cautiously approaches and clearly and quietly states, "Sorry, I'm late."

Her eyes widen at the state of him, and immediately soften at the apology. She opens her mouth, but closes it, not trusting herself to speak. She spent too long, too many universes seeing him die, arriving too late to save him, having to do her best to make timelines never happen or just understand what happened to try again in a new timeline.

Rose hands him a seat, and slides over next to him.

She smiles softly in spite of herself, and offers him a hand to hold. "Almost didn't think you'd come. I was a bit.... harsh the last we spoke. The TARDIS told me off for tryin' ta push ya. If it helps."

She sipped her drink and either squeezed his hand or leg.

She had a lot to say, but still even with the days to work on it, they were getting stuck in her throat.

Ten takes the offered seat and eyes her on why is she smiling because she's trying to make the best of things still - that's his Rose and inwardly smiles a little.

Did it make him feel better that the Tardis told her off, not really and shakes his head.

At the hand squeeze, squeezes slightly back, as if saying non verbally, hi there.

Then goes to lick his ice cream, he's going to let her lead the conversation, for now at least.

Deep breath.

She's got to be delicate.

For all his older version bristled about her calling him more fragile...

She couldn't stop seeing him that way. Broken. And it didn't help that she was the one to break him.

"We left Jack."

On the Satellite. She told the older Doctor he could take the punch for that, but she couldn't just flip a switch and no longer be upset with this one.

"I know what I did to him with Bad Wolf. He needed us. Needed his friends. And we abandoned him." She held up her other hand to stall him. "I don't want you to feel guilty about that. Guilty about me, or him, or Martha. But..." she winced.

How to explain she wanted to still break down in tears and rage at him for leaving her?! For not giving her a way to tell Jack goodbye, she didn't even spent the last few minutes she had with Jack, just thinking finally finally she'd see him around again, and that it was more important to befriend Martha and show the MetaCrisis it wasn't all hard feelings and --

Blonde hair was pushed back with a single hand. "Just because he forgave you for that, doesn't mean you can talk to me about loving him as much as me yet. No, I said yet, but I mean probably never. Because if I was him, I wouldn't have forgiven you that easily." She shook her head, "At all. You'd have to work to earn back that trust."

Another deep breath and she squeezed his hand to again to remind him she wasn't gone, and just sipped her drink.

"I love Jack too. And I don't think you really get what he and I meant to each other, or still do."

She wants to point out she befriends Martha in the future, and will work to do so here again, and all of this, ALL OF IT, is less about his future self angering her, and her overprotectiveness on behalf of friends and the fact that he's accidentally pouring lemon juice and salt into an open wound he can't see.

You cannot choose between us, I'm offended you think that's even a thing any of us would stand for.

No, that would not help and she promised his older self she wouldn't ream this one out.

Brown eyes closed thoughtfully, very carefully picking her next words.

"I need you to come back home."

This much is true. And the TARDIS was a living part of him. Rose couldn't fly her without him and -- well might as well bring up tht part.

"You... never meant to hurt me, I know. So I'm going to tell you this, even though it's going to hurt, because if you keep accidentally stepping on my toes, I'm going to get prickly like a rosebush again, all thorns, yeah?" Deep breath.

"In Torchwood, Jack and I did a lot of things we hated. Jack's a bloody hero, and saved the Earth over and over, and sacrificed everything to do it. And I need you to respect that, because if you treat him like a criminal or take him for granted, I'm going to lose it." Deep breath, closed eyes. And she slid over the drawing pad, chewing her bottom lip. "I'm tryin' ta draw his Mum for him. If you wanna help, I think he'd be really touched, yeah?" Letting Ten help make up for leaving Jack on the satellite, and be Rose's friend again.

She swung her feet. This one was a bit harder. "I lied. That I was moving on. With Torchwood. I wanted to make it easier for you to move on," Rose winced. "Guessin' I kinda broke ya instead." She held up her free hand again. "It wasn't your fault. You didn't do nuffin' wrong to just suddenly make me hate your here or anythin' like that, yeah?" She shakes her head, sighs, and rests her head head in her palm. "When I was Bad Wolf, I didn't just make Jack immortal and kill the daleks, which are never gone for good anyway." She couldn't resist growling the last part because he exiled himself over it, but whatever. "I scattered the words through time and space. Bad Wolf Bay is a crack between the universes, so that I could get back. Just me, I thought."

She chewed her bottom lip in thought. "It was... the hardest and worst thing I've ever had to do. And no, I'm not going to talk about it." Who could she even tell that wouldn't freak out? Jack and Amy were closest, but just as Rose could listen to their stories and sympathize too, she hadn't lived them. It wasnt the same. "I don't love you like I love Jack. I didn't fight my way through the cracks and make a bridge that Mum and Mickey ended up following," a wince, "Yeah, I was pretty mad at them for that too. Still am," she laughed softly and shook her head. "I didn't do that just because I selfishly want to be with you. Don't get me wrong, I do. And it's going to take a lot more than you lovin' everyone in all the universes as much as you love me," a slight eyeroll. "I did it because I had to and the universes were breaking. Unreality. You'll get there."

Deep breath. "Thing is, yeah? I don't love you the same as I love anyone else. Not even Jack, and I really REALLY love Jack," she gave him a sidelong look to assess the impact, to make sure he got it. "There's nothing I wouldn't do for Jack, if he asked me to." WELL, okay, destroy the universes and undo all the good he'd done, and would do, but he would never ever ask that, so. "There's a lot you could," or might, "Ask me that I'd never do. And I don't love you in as simple as a 'I cherish whatever short time we have together,' way. I don't think anyone could put into words the way I love you," Rose stole stole a spoon and quickly fed him a spoonful so he wouldn't try. "And I don't want anyone to even try. I'm fine with it the way it is."

WELL... 'FINE' WAS DEBATEABLE. Hurting, forever wondering if maybe he had some weird alien defintion of love that didn't match humans and that was why he pushed MetaCrisis onto her, or maybe that was just how his love worked for him? EXCEPT IF HE REALLY LOVED BY PROXY THEN WHY COULDN'T HE HAVE LET HER DANCE WITH JACK AND--

"Except that you don't know you're rubbin' salt and vinegar into the open wound," she explained darkly. "I'm sorry to have to tell you but I don't know any other way." Deep breath. "I can't, I can't be with someone who..." Sigh. No, she could avoid spoilers as Amy called them. "No, rewind. My boyfriend before Mickey was called Jimmy Stone. I dropped outta school and ran off with him and his band, thinkin' he'd totally make it big. I missed my A-levels," his leather jacket self always made sure everyone knew he still considered her the best for it, and it was something that kept her going all the years in Torchwood. "Chalked up a couple thousand pounds of debt, and he got engaged to another woman named Noosh. Mickey was more loyal than I deserved, and never did the 'I-told-you-so' much. Except in Pete's world where Jimmy was in jail, but that was more because he was tryin' ta put out without me Jimmy would always have wound up in jail." A shrug. He's probably right.

"Saying you love me like Martha oversimplifies it. A lot." Dark face, but for all the dark tone, and another squeeze to his hand, she doesn't go further. "And I'm not... tryin' ta force you to stop goin' at a snail's pace or whatever, but--" There was a lump in her throat. Would it hurt for her to watch him with Martha? Of course. Would it hurt more than watching him try to have an oblivious situation with all three of them? No way in hell.

"I mean what I said," she leaned over and stole a lick of his ice cream, feeling a little better now that she did say that much. "All of it. I'm never going to stop loving you, but it's not comparable to anyone else. That wouldn't be fair to them or you. And the same goes for Jack. I'm really... really extra protective of Jack right now," she fixed him with a serious look. "Because instead of hating me for being stupid, he still loves me. And I mean it. I'd do anything for him."

She chewed her bottom lip. "In the past... I always thought you were pretty jealous of him. Am I wrong?"

She shook her head. "I love you too much to let you hurt Jack and Martha accidentally, especially because I know, neither of them will admit to bein' hurt, and then you'll hate yourself, and I hate that. That part really kills me. The most." Rose dropped his hand and held up both hands to gesture with them. "I hate you hating yourself as much as you hate yourself. And so it becomes an impossible snake eating its own tail infinity circle, understand?"

A sigh, and she took his hand back, giving it a gentle squeeze. "And the only thing I can think of to do is to break that cycle by walkin' away. I don't want you to love Martha less." She rolled her eyes up, mentally praying to the TARDIS for help and patience. "I want you to let go of your hang-ups and fears and love her more. And don't... just don't ever again say you love us equally, yeah?" She shook her head. "Even if you do, and I'm not gonna reprimand you for that, I just can't bear to hear it, all right? It kills me." She bit the inside of her lip HARD to keep from crying. "Because I can't do that. I told your older self. It's like comparin' the Titanic to James Bond's car. There is no comparison. They're completely different things. I can never, will never, not ever love you like I love Jack. That doesn't mean less or more or better, it means nothing about your circumstances and relationships with me is the same and I don't want it to be. I can't have it be. Understand?"

She hoped she didn't depress him.

She wondered if this was how the older Doctor felt dealing with her.