genessia | VOICE

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VOICE | RADIO

[Over the communicator, a gentle, soothing, if vaugely eerie tune begins to play. A piano by the sounds of it, floating, ethereal, and softly, sweetly creepy]

Good evening, Genessia. Good evening Attleton, Everglade, Fayren and Nova City.

Has your day been enjoyable? Have you all enjoyed this beautiful summer season? Are you all ready for the festivity, fun and fervor of fall? The white, whistling quiet of winter?

Are you ready for the ongoing press of time? The relentless, perpetual movement towards an unforeseeable, unpredictable future?

I, for one, am ready, and very, very excited.

Good evening, Genessia, and welcome to Attleton.

---

I hope to have this broadcasts happen regularly, every Friday evening. Something warm and pleasant to bring in the weekend. Take your minds off the grind of work and the drudgery of the rat race. As a professional journalist with many years behind me as a radio show host, I know all of you will only be getting the best entertainment that money does not have to buy.

---

Briefly, a traffic report. The evening rush hour in Nova City is quite the sight. Backed up for three miles in all returning lanes. It does, actually, appear this time that there is entirely one person to blame for this. Attempt not to begrudge Mrs. Tibson too hard. It's been a terribly long day for her, and these roads can be very confusing, and attempting to drive a one hundred foot wide car is extremely difficult. I have always found a tried and true method of curbing road rage to be sudoku, or any other type of portable game.

Hector in editing has an entire foosball table in his chevy. Try to be like Hector.

---

The lonely hearts killer is still stalking the streets of Attleton. As some of you may know, locals have had their hearts carved from their chests, and there are still no suspects. While no one with a pendant has been claimed by this brutal murderer yet, it is still advised that those who call the Attleton area home keep their eyes peeled, and for those otherwise attached to their internal organs not to travel alone. As a reminder, a shop in Everglade does, in fact, sell eye peelers, in case any of you need a recommendation.

Before anyone raises their voice to decry the government of Attleton... May I remind you that our beloved guardian Cassian is possibly one of the most beautiful faces in Attleton, and before you consider yelling at him, attempt to imagine him lowering his voice, ever so gently, and talking to you so very quietly, his large, dark, soulful eyes full of determination and spirit, his gently tousled, dark hair caught in the breeze, his tone so very low but so very strong.

If you can still imagine yourself getting into an argument, I actually have several maps of several different cities for you to live in, where there is plenty of room for you and your wrong opinion.

---

Halloween is approaching! And you all know what that means!

Getting magically turned into the costume you picked up at last minute in the dollar store!

In order to avoid such embarrassing transformations, we urge you all to find Svens Seven Scary Scarts.

What's a scart?

Sven couldn't find a way to alliterate the entire business name and got creative. It's perhaps a touch clunky, but I admire Sven's can do attitude.

The 'scarts' are littered hither and thither and we all suggest you go looking for them for some of the best costumes you will ever find in town. The masks are exceedingly life like, the paint semi-permanent, the hair dye entirely permanent. Guaranteed to never wash out!

Ever.

If you're having trouble locating a Scart, you may contact Sven between the hours of 12 AM and 3 AM in a lonely woods at a cross roads. Bring three friends, six candles and nine matches and repeat the chant:

"Alak, aley, alan. S'tzer mutt kouh, s'tzer mutt mah. S'tzer mutt MREE."

Sven will arrive within six to ten business days at your house and sell you a mask.

---

I can see that our weekly rumors have come out! Now, I just hate to get involved in these, but it is my duty, as a journalist and a reporter, to report on the news, and I will certainly up hold every measure of my title, even the completely regrettable, terrible and salacious parts of it.

[The paper work shuffles gently, and Cecil's throat clears]

... Oh... Goodness~.

We have quite a few interesting ones tonight.

Alice Lidell, a face I hope you'd all remember. A somber, lovely young woman with a love of the finer things in life. Currently, it appears young Miss Lidell has a now not so secret love of the colors fushia, periwinkle, salmon, rose and blush. It is still up for debate if coral, lavender, magenta, mauve and cotton candy are on this aforementioned list of secret passions. Listeners will be alerted if there are updates.

Ragyo Kiryuin, the impressive, intrepid and chromatically striking face of fashion in Genessia, is causing quite the stir among animal activists. As it turns out, some believe her wares to be less than animal friendly. I, for one, deeply disagree with this sentiment. Surely nothing terrible can come of someone with hair that nice.

Flandre Scarlet, of Everglade, has snuck out after her curfew, and gotten herself a belly button ring. We all know it's magnetic, but it's polite to nod and look very interested regardless. We must praise younger attempts at subversive behavior! Character growth is always positive! At least, all character growth permitted in The Code.

---

Please place your calls to the station, for answers to all your deepest, burning questions. Please remember, only the first five callers will be accepted.

You are on the air, try and stay clean!

---

And now, ladies and gentlemen, The Weather

----

Our time draws to an end, listeners, and I regret that this first episode must be so short. Perhaps, next time, with donations and care from our listening audience, we can extend the length of our show.

For now, please.

Enjoy the last few days of summer.

Fall starts on the twenty second, not a day sooner. Please, put down the pumpkin. Put away the spiced coffee, it causes constipation. Enjoy these last few days of sun and heat. For who knows, gentle viewers, when or if we'll ever see daylight again.

Please, enjoy your night.

Enjoy your week.

Enjoy your year.

And enjoy your life.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Two things.

One, no. I'm not looking forward to fall. Everything will smell like Pumpkin Spice and that's fucking overrated.

And you do know Cassian is taken, right? You might want to stop broadcasting how much you want him to lower his voice and whisper in your ear.

It's creepy.

What about cinnamon?

I know he is. His boyfriend is just as lovely. I admire Kay's glossy, elegant chassis, his even mind and his excellent sense of humor. Don't they make a beautiful couple?

I can get cinnamon whenever I want. That's what Cinnabon is for.

Sure, I guess. I mean, I think Kay's smarter than Cassian 2 but I guess even robots can't help who they fall in love with.

Now you just sound like you're hot for both of them.

So you like it!

What a fascinating and fickle thing, love. Unpredictable and beautiful. I, for one, cannot imagine a better couple.

Hm? Well~. I'm afraid I can't give a comment on that.

Oh crap. You're like David.

Yes, I like cinnamon. There. Happy now? I like s'mores too. That isn't special.

Stay clean, huh?

Okay I got a thing for like, advice and stuff. So what kind of advice could you give for keeping a skeleton it's brightest?

Since halloween is coming up and all.

Hm...

I'd suggest vitamin D supplements.

Huh, what if it's not my own skeleton?

Hypothetically speaking.

Not your own? Now that does complicate things.

Let's see, keeping a skeleton its brightest...

Have you tried skeleton puns?

... No puns.

[Ever want to hear a kid's voice go completely flat and almost murderous? Cause hoo boy, good job Cecil.]

Darn, those usually work.

Then I'd suggest informing your skeleton of how much they mean to you, and how incomplete you and everyone else would be without them.

Always remember to remind your skeleton that they are loved, and important, and encourage your skeleton to develop hobbies and interests outside of the house.

Remember as well to impress upon your skeleton that they don't need to interact with someone if they do not feel comfortable, but that simply being outside, in socket shot of other living, sentient beings, is sometimes all it takes to improve ones mood.

[Long long pause, it would make one think that maybe they hung up. But nope, they start laughing.]

T-too bad if I said that to him he wouldn't believe it! [Hee hee. Because they are the person the skeleton doesn't want to interact with.]

But it's a good idea in general, thanks radio man.

Oh that's terrible! Perhaps, one day, he might grow to believe it, I do wish the best for both you and your skeleton.

I'm glad I could help you! You're very welcome.

[And there is the voice he had been swooning about, sounding supremely flustered through his best attempts to be professional . ]

The Attleton Guardian's office thanks you for your support, though we would ask listeners that they keep any eye peeling limited to their own eyes.

Edited 2017-09-02 07:44 (UTC)

[Keep trying, Cassian, you've activated hard mode]

Ah!

Ladies and gentlemen, we have quite the distinguished caller today! And on the first show!

Oh sir, I am very happy for your gratitude, I'm honored to be sharing the air with you right now.

Of course, it is considered a social faux paux to peel someone elses eyes, I would hope most people would respect that. Listeners, please do remember that if you are going to keep eyes properly peeled, to only peel your own eyes.

Now, Guardian Andor, do forgive me for being so familiar, but I just have to ask, what do you do to maintain that perfect amount of scruffy but handsomely neat stubble?

[How do you activate tutorial mode. He needs tutorial mode!

There is a longer silence. A throat being cleared.]

I... think that just takes practice?

[Smooth spy. Right. He is gonna have to return his smooth spy card after this.]

I thank you for your nice words.

[He is making it worse,isn't he? Something tells him he is making it worse.]

[FIVE FINGERS IN CASS LETS GO]

Well you have absolutely mastered it. I have to say, it is a shame that this isn't televised, you are always stunning.

Oh you're so welcome!

Please, might I say that you and Kay together are simply beautiful, you compliment each other to perfection. Seeing it makes me so homesick, if I'm to be perfectly honest with you.

I hope I'm not being too bold, but what kind of lights illuminate Kay's optics? They're always so striking!

[ CALLING TUTORIAL MODE!!!

But hey, wait, that's... nice things about Kay? Maybe you've not only been sent to torment him with disturbingly nice remarks about his beard. ]

Thank you? [ Hrmm, you can do better, Cass! ] Thank you. This is the first time someone told me we remind them of someone they left behind. [ Great going, Cecil, now he assumes you've got a ~~love machine~~ robot lover of your own at home. His voice softens a bit. ] I'm afraid I don't know the exact specs of Kay's photoreceptor units, but I agree the effect is striking. I'm amazed time and again how expressive they are.

[No, but Carlos is just as lovely as Kay!]

I suppose I'll just have to ask him later. Perhaps that can be a call in for another time! Is it possible to arrange an interview with Kay?

[A pause]

Oh! Is that him I hear in the background?

Kay! Oh Kay, do you have a moment?

[ What? Let Kay speak on a radio show? Live, on air, for all five cities to hear? About him, and them, and possibly even his beard care regimen?

No way! ]

I'm sorry, but he really doesn't. We have to leave on patrol now, we are already running late. Thank you for giving me time on air.

I'm so sorry, I had no idea I was holding you up, Mr. Andor.

I hope your patrol goes well! I'd love it if you could report back with any updates on the murders as well, every bit of information helps!

Thank you. I'll keep you informed as well as I can.

[ And the line goes silent, Cassian breathing a sigh of relief for having Prevented The Worst. ]

[In the background, Kay is absolutely losing his shit at this whole conversation. Shame you can't see him grinning, Cassian.]

[At last, a voice that belongs to an adult, though somewhat irritated.]

Astronomically, autumn starts on the 22nd. *Meteorologically*, autumn starts on the first of September. I spent an entire summer in Death Valley, after I grew up in Maine. I had enough summer to last me a lifetime. I might be one of those who welcomes any and every sign of autumn, up to and including the premature ones.

Oh I always preferred astronomy, but goodness! I didn't know that at all, thank you sir! I love having someone come on the air willing to help educate the listening audience.

Death Valley in summer? Why, that's not too far away from Nightvale!

Occasionally.

Why were you there, if you don't mind the question?

[For anyone dying to meet Cecil as he heads home for the night]

[Scott's considering getting himself and apartment or house in Attletlon so he can attend the Attleton Academies and that's why he is in the city.

However, he isn't too familiar with the layout and got lost. So Cecil might spot a dark figure with a bright red light on their face, looking ominous yet obviously unsure about where to go next.]

[So, you know. An average Friday night. Cecil doesn't even blink.]

Oh! Well hello over there. First day in Attleton? It's a bit late for tours.

[Considering how many murdered seems to get loose at night on Attleton, Scott's the safer option. Scott look fairly happy to see Cecil, even if he doesn't know him.]

Hello. Is it so obvious? I was going back to the archway but I'm afraid I got completely lost. Got too distracted looking at the houses for rent.

Goodness yes, please don't take it the wrong way.

Are you looking to move into the area? I highly suggest it, Attleton is such a lovely, quiet little town.

[Other than all the MURDER]

I won't, I know I stand out like a sore thumb most of the time.

[The man seems friendly enough so Scott is not especially concerned. He deals with super powered murdered often, they usually like to chat first. So they might be in the chat stage now.]

I am. I plan on joining The Academies to finish studying, living here would be easier for that. Have you lived here for long?

Oh! Do you mean the outfit?

[Yep. Yes. Just overlooking the red glow, yep]

I think you look wonderful.

I'm so excited for you! Oh I wish you the best of luck in your coming school year~. I've only been in Genessia for a month, at least, and specifically in Attleton even less. So we can be new together.

[Scott think Cecil is being polite by not mentioning the combat visor but being called 'wonderful' is still not something he heard often. He offers a little awkward smile in return.]

Thank you. Things are very different here from what I'm used to dealing with, fairly peaceful, so it's not a bad change. I'm Scott, a pleasure to meet you.

[Scott offers him a hand to shake...because he's not so secretly 40 years old at heart.]

Can I ask what's your favorite thing about this city?

[At first Kay was ~~jealous~~ a bit miffed that someone has paid so much attention to Cassian. But on second thought, his boyfriend's voice is damn sexy and it's about time someone gives him some credit.]

Oh, if you think his voice alone is nice, you should seen Cassian when he dressed up for an occasion. He's got a lovely shoulder-to-waist ratio and formal suits shows it.

[Cecil does get to this, once he's comfortably at home. Personal calls on his own phone are a no no at work!]

Oh I can imagine. You're so lucky to have each other! Maybe one day I'll be so lucky as to see the two of you out for one of those occasions.

And thank you so much for tuning into Attleton's first broadcast tonight! My listening audience is my world, you have no idea how much I appreciate knowing you heard it.

[Kay didn't want to call the Radio Station and embarrass Cassian on air by accident. So private call it is.]

Thank you. It took us more than 10 years to get to this point, it's been difficult but worth it. He wore a suit during the Olympic Games Attleton hosted this august. Here is his inauguration speech.

I can't say I'm an expert in radio shows but I really enjoyed yours. It was very informative, although, I had no idea that the Halloween holiday was about that. We don't celebrate it in my world.

I'll have to save this, it should be archived properly!

Oh Kay, you're making me blush.

Halloween has to be one of my favorite holidays. Oh I would recommend picking out a costume as soon as possible, the good ones just tend to fly off the scarts!

Are you sure? It's not...that important. And we can talk more in the future.

Heh. Now that's a first. I usually only manage to cause that effect on Cassian. [This is exactly why Cassian didn't want you ON AIR, Kay.]

I'll check them out, promise. Will you be getting a costume too?

Oh no, memorabilia of who is currently in power is highly important. History should never be a mystery!

Unless it's illegal history.

I might, but I always have such a hard time picking out a good costume. There's just so many choices.

You are right about that. I never considered documenting what the guardians do, since the things we all post on the public holo-net remain there forever. You could find information about previous guardians and people. You might find that interesting.

You mean criminal acts and felonies?

You could make a list of your favorites and then have a pool on the network or your Radio Show.

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