genessia | VOICE

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VOICE | RADIO

The lights fade yet again on another beautiful week. The promise of the weekend approaches. But can we call it the weekEND, if a new week is simply born at the end of that?

Perhaps then it is not the weekEND.

But a week restart.

I cannot wait for my week to restart, and comfortably wash away the mistakes, mishaps and accidental deaths of the past week.

Welcome To Attleton.

---

Briefly, the traffic.

There appears to be a traffic jam in Fayren. I know this may be surprising to some of you, as the grand sum of the vehicles in Fayren can be accurately approximated at twenty horses, five hay wagons, one sheep drawn wheelbarrow and one occasionally begrudging dragon.

But there is, indeed, a traffic jam.

Taking place on a beautiful town road, lovingly cobbled with old and worn stones, there seems to be a semi immobile collection of rabbits, deer, squirrels, hedgehogs, feral cats, and one ancient, toothless wolf.

They are simply standing there.

Staring.

Watching down the path and waiting patiently for someone... or something.

Several animals have managed to get past this team, but it seems that those of the sapient persuasion are having some trouble. It is advised, if you intend on braving the woods of Fayren, to study up on music or, at the very least, hire a currently banished but pure princess to escort you through the woods.

If you cannot hold a tune or are finding banished but pure princesses to be in short supply, several gun stores in Nova City are holding door buster sales! Buy one, and the ammunition comes free!

---

Guardian Weiss Shnee of Nova City has resigned earlier this week, citing conflicts of interest, among other things.

Guardian Shnee was up until this point one of the longest serving Guardians in Genessia. She has faithfully and selflessly served the citizens of her city to the best of her abilities, and has contributed so much to the surrounding cities themselves. I, myself, fondly remember watching her hologram in the bay cave, admiring her wonderful taste in fashion and excellently styled hair, with accessories all to match. She was an intelligent, brave, beautiful leader with the voice of an angel.

If those were real.

She will be deeply missed, and I wish her the best of luck in all her future endeavors.

Guardian Shnee leaves behind Deputy Mercury and Deputy Garrus as co-Guardians until the next election. I, for one, have the utmost faith in their administration.

If you cannot trust a sapient bipedal alien crab, who can you trust?

Good luck, Nova City. And god speed.

---

Staying in Nova City, Mayor Schnee has announced a new series of laws set to go into effect immediately, pertaining to the rights of our non-organic and partially non-organic friends and family.

Immediately, all non-organic and partially non-organic beings within the city are considered to possess full, inalienable rights. Discrimination in the workplace, in business and in public will not be tolerated. These new laws will be held to the letter by the remaining deputies that Former Guardian Schnee has left.

I know in my heart that they will surely uphold these new laws without question. Garrus is very admirable like that, I couldn't imagine anything else.

Personally, I applaud this bold step forward in equality! I remember Nightvale, pre-machine sufferage and work equality. It took me weeks to convince my toaster oven to return to work, and if I were still at home, I'd still be paying for their highly skilled team of lawyers.

---

Attleton has once again become a hotbed of action! The streets are now full of dogs. Dogs everywhere. Up and down the street, in cars, on porches, frolicking freely and happily where ever their dear, doggy hearts decide to take them. We are truly blessed in Attleton, considering the dire straights we are still in with our heart stealing murderer yet unfound.

It is the dogocalypse.

A puppopalooza.

Our beloved and perfect Guardian, Cassian Andor, has done a marvelous job in rounding up the loose dogs, helped in no small part by his effortlessly graceful and efficient partner, Kay. They are truly the power couple of Attleton and it was an unparalleled pleasure seeing them function as one seamless, perfect unit, as if they were one complete and beautiful, four armed, partially robotic entity.

This has also, unequivically and eternally answered the ancient age old question that has long haunted mankind, since the dawn of history...

Who let the dogs out?

... Pirates!

---

Svens Seven Scary Scarts are still out and looking for buyers! Several of our local soulless natives have already eagerly snapped up their own masks, makeup, dye and costumes for the season! Don't forget to get yours now!

Sven is doing a promotional sale at the early and easy hour of 1 AM amid a grove of birch trees by the glow of the full moon! Bring your friends! Bring your family! Bring something you are at loathe to part with, and give it to Sven to assure yourself a safe and bountiful harvest.

---

Speaking of Halloween, there will be some difficulty involved with engaging in the usual, wholesome Halloween tradition of summoning demons in the mirror.

Due to poor working conditions, the entities Bloody Mary, the cigarette demon, and the evil baby that may or may not be an incarnation of Lucifer are on strike. Attempting to summon any of them this year appears to only get the summoner an automated message containing a list of demands which contain but are not limited to:

Longer lasting candles
Windex
Cleaner bathrooms
Longer hours
Less jokes about tomatoes
Cigarettes that are not Eagle 20's
A sacrifice that doesn't scream so much

Fortunately, we still have the reduced price, off brand evil mirror summons, sure to still put a spark into your spooky evening.

On the list of willing stand ins are:

Hematoma Marge
The Lollipop Imp
And Willy Scratch. E, who is not actually a demon or a supernatural being, but a very bored and recently laid off tax accountant in the down town Attleton area. For twenty five dollars and a can of beer, Willy will bang on all your windows at around 9 pm on Halloween for approximately five minutes or until he gets tired.

---

In rumors this week, the fae dragon Liora is actually a bottle gold. No word on who the stylist is currently, though with results like that, I can only assume it was professionally done. Regardless, isn't she just stunning?

Noctis Lucis Caelum was recently spotted patronizing the Gentleman's Club Glitter Palace this past weekend. Dancer Krystal Nipz, an employee there, has stated that he is an excellent conversationalist, and has exceptionally toned thighs.

In darker rumors... our own Dave Strider has sunk to desperate measures in order to make a name for himself at the Fama Talent Agency. I am at loathe to repeat this, he is so very young after all, but it is my duty to inform all of you that Dave Strider....

Is evading taxes. Attempt to control your outrage, I know. More to come on this story later.

---

Please place your calls! Remember only the first five callers will be answered, and keep it clean. You are, after all, on the air.

---

And now, the weather!

---

I sincerely hope you all enjoyed tonights show.

If any of you out there are interested in further broadcasts, the station is always accepting donations.

I hope you all enjoy your weekend, and take care. Take care of yourselves. Take care of your friends. Take care of your family, your pets, your appliances and your home.

Take care of our world.

Take care of our tiny pocket dimension.

But most of all... take care. In everything.

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I heard Dave Strider also jaywalks and illegally smuggles birds into Everglade.

Bird smuggling too?

I had no idea Everglade was suffering from an influx of illegal avian trafficking!

Yeah, like. Penguins and flamingos. Exotic birds.

There's so many feathers involved, you don't even know.

[The little dragon listens curiously, but not thinking much of it...until she hears her own name mentioned. wtf?]

W-W-What...? A bottle gold? What does that mean...?

Oh! Good evening, welcome to the show. It's always a delight to have a caller!

I have to ask, please don't take it the wrong way, but is the gold a natural color?

But...of course it's my natural color! I don't know why anyone would think otherwise...

[Whoops, she might have hinted at the identity of the caller here.]

So it is Liora!

I'm so glad you came on air to clear up that rumor, it's simply been filling the air among the locals. I can't believe someone would start something like that, absolutely dreadful.

Yes...I am Liora. I don't know why people would talk about me. I'm nothing special...

[A Light dragon who can't even control Light, how pathetic...]

Also...you mentioned a "begrudging dragon" in Fayren? Which one could that be? What did it look like...?

Maybe because you're a gold dragon!

Oh I don't know, I'm afraid I didn't get the details for that. Which is a shame really, I ought to go back and ask about that one again. I've never personally met a dragon before. Nightvale isn't on their usual migration trail.

You'll have to forgive me, as I'm still new to this 'radio' business, though it isn't completely unknown to me. Well, perhaps the method, but...

...I digress. It is the weekend, as you say, "week's end" having been the original parlance. It's to signify the cessation of one collection of events. "All beginnings come after an ending", as the great poets are want to say.

Is there really a problem with the animals in Fayren?

There's nothing that needs forgiving, you're doing very well.

I see! Language is so tricky, isn't it? Sometimes all it takes is personal experiences and ideas and you can instantly change whatever it is a word or sentence was meant to be!

"Karl made a great dinner" can mean so many different things depending on who you are and what your life experiences might have been.

They're getting a little excitable.

Oh, well, thank you. I do try.

Tricky and fascinating. [He chuckles.] Oh, yes. You see, I don't know Karl, so, while his roommate would most likely be expressing exultation, mine would be a position of envy.

[But his tone is light-hearted.]

Really? I'll have to look into that... [Don't get distracted by animals, Dorian. Don't be a total magic geek right now...]

I can see you're a very fast learner.

I always admired Karl's caviar, personally, but I can't say I know too much about preparing it, he always was secretive.

If you do! Could you give me information about anything you find while you're out there? I would go myself, but the last time I attempted to charm a pack of wild animals it turned into a terrible mess. It's officially verboten in Nightvale for me to communicate with wild animals anymore, and I'd feel terrible if I broke that rule here.

[A deep chuckle.] Naturally.

Karl's spectacular claim to fame is caviar? Suddenly I'm not quite so jealous. Thank you.

I suppose I could, yes. Would this be an official statement?

Oh I liked it. A little crunchy in the center but they had such a memorable, warm taste.

It would! Or at least as official as it could get from a non-official. Officially non-official. Eyewitness perhaps would be the better term. I'm dying to know what the situation is.

Crunchy? Maker's breath, man. We need to find you some good caviar.

...I may be an official, you know. You've yet to ask to whom you're speaking.

Well I'm fairly sure I know what Fayren's Guardian sounds like... but you are right, I don't know the deputies!

Oh forgive me, I assumed too much, sir. May I ask who you are?

You may. [He chuckles again.] Dorian Pavus, and while I am not, in fact, a Guardian or deputy, I am an instructor at the guild Fairy Tail, a fully vested Enchanter, and an arcane researcher. I'm very good at the whole magic thing, which, given the locale, is highly likely to be involved in this albeit strange occurrence.

I see! I suppose that would make you very official then as far as the matter of strange and unexplained happenings in Fayren would go.

You're perfect! Thank you so much for offering to investigate, if you still want to of course.

Anything you find out, I'd love to hear, even if we never find out why. Currently what is the most important to me, people do need to stay updated.

[He chuckles slightly at that.]

Why yes, I suppose it would, wouldn't it, and I'm quite charmed that you'd say so.

[I mean, Dorian thinks he's perfect, after all.]

Yes. Then, I can assume this broadcast of yours is heard throughout all of Genessia's cities?

[Nao got a good chuckle regarding the news from Fayren but what grabs his attention is this bit regarding the apparent dogcalpyse.]

Did those strays originally migrated from Genessia? I know of the louse who released them. He apparently thought he was "rescuing" them.

Edited 2017-09-09 15:36 (UTC)

The radio show and your reports are over again very entertaining and helpful, Mr. Palmer. We are still patrolling the streets in search of dogs that might need to be taken care off but the situation is under control. Thank you for your...er...kind words about our partnership.

[Let's call ti that. Kay's not used to this kind of praising.]

Its' refreshing to know someone so accepting.

[Outside the studio at dusk! Come one come all]

Look, Tannusen had a habit of being in all the cities on a regular basis, depending on the day or night. Some of his errands were pretty shady, and some werent; the tiger roamed a lot. Sometimes on foot, sometimes on Jethro, and sometimes on paws.

Tonight was the first of those choices, the Faerie wandering along in human form, thumbing through something on his phone. A pebble with legs jumped up onto the device and squawked at him, and he flicked it away without missing a beat; the world was always chimerical to him, after all.

Edited 2017-09-09 06:56 (UTC)

Likewise, the world was always what Tannusen would consider chimerical for Cecil!

The only issue was, it was chimerical for everyone around Cecil too. Not that anything would look too different for Tannusen, though perhaps, as far as Attleton went... it'd get steadily more active the closer Cecil got.

Oh yes by the time the radio show host had rounded the corner, the sky directly overhead, overhead Cecil at least, was flickering from starlit to a black, yawning void, the grass inching out of cracks in the sidewalk and slithering like tentacles across the pavement. A bat swooped low and found itself tangled in the overgrowth, soon swallowed by pliant, soft, fleshy stone as Cecil hopped neatly over the crack.

The air itself nearly hummed as he looked up from his own phone and-

"Oh! Well, good evening! You're a new face."

"Am I?" Tannusen looked up, too, quirking an eyebrow. Nothing about the situation struck him as odd, naturally. Not yet, anyway. Though something about that voice was vaguely, faintly familiar.

"Oh yes, I'd remember someone with a face that striking." Nothing odd here either, as the tattoos snaked and spiraled up an arm, a line at the end of an inked tendril splitting open to a two dimensional eye, staring at Tannusen before shutting and slithering away again.

"You don't live in Attleton, do you?"

Sometimes what Tannusen saw on person chimerically hinted at their nature, or other otherwise hidden aspects like Hastur bleeding through the edges of Cassian. He never blinked at these things; not after over twenty years of practice seeing this shit and never letting on to the oblivious mortals in the middle of it.

Comments on his appearance also weren't odd.

"No, Everglade," Tannusen tipped his head slightly to one side, considering the stranger. He'd heard several sentences out of him, now... "Ah, you're that new radio host."

Then it would not occur to Tannusen the stripes starting to slither across his flesh and creeping along his snow white hair, nor the blackening of his own sclera. Cecil certainly didn't say anything about it, at the moment, distracted by-

"Oh! Yes, I am, you noticed! Do you like the show so far? Anything you feel you'd like to hear on the air? ... Do you run a business or know of one that might like to sponsor us? We are new after all, and in need of funding."

And if the teeth that flashed when Tannusen laughed just now were a bit more than just odd -- elongated upper and lower canines so sharp it could hurt to look at them -- well, he didn't know that, either. This was always the state of things, to the Faerie.

The only odd part would be a non-Fae seeing it without himself or one of his kind imbuing them with Glamour, first.

"That depends if you want sponsorship from a Genessia gay bar." Possibly 'the', but, semantics.

Very nice teeth as far as Cecil was concerned, but his tastes always ran a touch odd.

"Oh, that is an issue... I don't know if I'm allowed to promote drinking on the air, that can be such a sensitive subject for some people. The last thing I want is to be accused of encouraging underaged drinking."

Yeah, yep that's what he's taking out of that, also-

"Well I might have to ask Guardian Andor about drinking laws later. In the meantime I hope you don't mind the prying, where did you get that coat? The feathered ruff is amazing, I've never seen a shade of black like that before.

... Is that real chainmail? Ooooh it looks expensive."

Tannusen had been about to point out he didn't let minors into Velvet at all, but then... that happened. The tiger blinked, black and blue eyes slightly widened.

"You... you can actually see me?"

He didn't ken as a human, no, but not as a Faerie either!

"Well yes of course! ... Oh I'm sorry, were you trying to be invisible? I apologize if that was the intent, I'd hate to draw attention. It's so hard to tell the difference between an invisible person and a visible person sometimes."

"I mean... me. Most people don't see the maile coat, or..."

Well. Surely if Cecil was seeing the chimerical armored coat, he was seeing his stripes and such too?

Tannusen's brow furrowed for a moment, and then he pointed at the ground behind Cecil, at the spongy carnivorous crack in the sidewalk the man had hopped over. "What do you see there?"

Was it just a crack that a slightly superstitious human had hopped over in a moment of fancy, or did he see the same thing Tannusen saw?

"Or that fantastic feather ruff? Or the stripes? Well that's odd, it's very obvious, I don't even know how someone could miss that lovely smile."

He followed Tannusen's finger, looking at the sidewalk.

"Looks like someone forgot to feed the sidewalk this morning! Oh, I also forgot to get biscuits for it, it's so cranky when it doesn't get dinner- Do you have anything?"

"Right, or the feathers or stripes. Or elongated canine teeth. Most people are too banal; their minds reject it and they just see a... regular guy in regular clothes."

More or less, anyway.

This guy, though...

Tannusen wasn't sensing any banality around him at all. Not even what was normally just permeating the atmosphere; this guy had managed to push it away from him like a bubble of the Dreaming itself.

As for having dinner for the sidewalk, the tiger shook his head. "I don't have anything on me."

"Banal is such a terrible word, I'm sure they're just too busy! Or maybe seeing a striped man in moonlit chainmail with the teeth of a massive jungle cat would be a bit offputting and it's easier to pretend he's not there.

It just depends on who you're talking to I guess."

Oh well, alas, poor sidewalk.

"I'll have to buy it a bagel tomorrow. But in all seriousness, you look beautiful, absolutely stunning. I'm always so surprised to see how many gorgeous people I keep running into here!"

"Well, even my fiance can't see me this way unassisted, and I doubt he's put off," Tannusen noted, "there's just an inherent level of banality in the Autumn World, this place included. You seem to neutralize it, somehow."

The compliments, he found as easy to brush off as usual. Sure, most people weren't talking about his actual appearance, but he'd listened to a few shows now and it didn't take a genius to notice that Cecil was complimentary of everyone.

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