text + billboards of the front cover all over every city

[unhappy]

[ Within the book, it just contains ridiculous blog-style stories about how Cassian used to use pink milk to bake cookies on the veranda of his frozen planet home with his mother, then wake up because it was just a dream. His mother is dead, his life is shit. He must rebel. So he makes angry pink cookies.

Each recipe has a story of similar caliber, and most of the recipes are absolute shit. They are all next to weird pictures, some of him just barbecuing and smiling warmly at K2SO or some just making awful candid faces. The back cover photo is probably photoshopped but the rest seem weirdly.. real... (Thanks Neo.)

There are 20 different recipes including: a canned tuna christmas tree, how to make grilled cheese with a clothing iron, some kind of gelatinous salad monster, hot Dr. Pepper, and many other atrocities against food. ]

guys did you check out this hot new cookbook yet

Also vote Emerald for Guardian of Everglade you guys can ask about those things too.

Comments

[unhappy]

Also am I the only one that feels "I did fighting back home so I should do it here" as a reason for being a Guardian is the most moronic thing I've ever heard? Like, you and 90% of the population.

Everglade needs it. Grell's doing a good job of serving her interests, pulling screens over people's eyes where she doesn't want them, but she's doing it by taking Everglade's heart out to make it more palatable to others instead of preserving its culture. I'm pretty sure the mayor's in her pocket, and I'd bet the courts are too since she's got the public defense attorney as a deputy on her payroll- seriously, they've got someone arresting people and then supposedly being the ones to defend them. How screwed up is that? And yes, maybe it's easier to go buy your meat at the local butcher if your goal is to make the pointy teeth just for getting cool selfies instead of doing what they're born to do. Grell's created a culture that convinces people it's wrong to be what they're meant to be because they have to play nice with the humans and the other cities, too, while picking and choosing what she thinks is acceptable, like with the necromancy laws. If anywhere needs freeing from its current regime, it's Everglade.

[om_nom_namur]

SHEHEHEHEH! Seriously. Hell, 's there anyone other'n Sonico that don't come from some kinda war or fightin' shit background?

Ain't that the way government works though?

[Namur rubs his cheek just below his gills with the end of his finger, head tilted to the side in confusion.]

Anyway, think yer wrong an' yer right 'bout all that culture shit y's talkin' 'bout. Know a lotta vampires that loves the hunt an' doin' what they's made t' do an' all that, an' I'm sure they'd agree with y'. They's proud a what they can do an' they think everbody oughta embrace it if they get the chance. Also know a lotta vampires that never wanted t' be vampires an' it ain't their fault some snaggletoothed shithead thought it'd be fun t' turn 'em int' slaves for eternity an' make 'em feel compelled t' do shit they never wanted t' do. They jus' wanna live their lives an' maybe not have t' go 'round killin' folk or die, so 's nice for 'em t' be able t' make the choice for theirselves, catch me? It ain't 'bout the hunters bein' wrong, 's 'bout lettin' more folk be right. Ain't no one forcin' nobody t' use the meat houses. There's still hunts a plenty goin' on, an' the only bitchin' folk in the streets is doin' 'bout it is tellin' someone they picked the wrong prey this time an' now shit's gonna get deep, know what I'm sayin'? Sheheheheh!

[unhappy]

Just because it's the way something works doesn't mean it's the way it should work.

Just because a small chunk of people want to do that, why is it treated as if that's the "dignified" way to do it? They're ashamed of what they are because they're taught it's something to be ashamed of. I'm fine with them being able to make that choice, but the way Grell bills it, the whole world pretends Everglade is somehow "better" than it was because Grell did gave the people who don't want to an option, and selectively at that.

What about the necromancy rules? Three months of no self-defense and denying who you are as a rule to be able to use necromancy is basically a "get out necromancers unless you can survive three months of discrimination so Grell can say ~oh I allow it~" And I notice you're just completely ignoring Miss Defense Attorney.

[om_nom_namur]

Ehhh, that's kinda jus' Grell in general, though. Like, seriously. Everthin' she does is selective an' exclusive an' dignified or what the hell ever. Cuz she says it is. 'S nice t' hear someone else takin' notice an' bitchin' her out 'bout it, don't get me wrong, but it ain't some nefarious plot or nothin'.

Necromancy's a murky thing though cuz some a 'em's alright an' some a 'em's tryna make people int' a buncha immortal slaves. I'm all for freedom t' be who y' are, but there's lines in it, catch me? Slavery's one y' shouldn't be crossin', eternal or otherwise.

...Is Miss Defense Attorney hot?

[unhappy]

Just because it isn't a nefarious plot doesn't mean it's good for anyone but her.

Okay, and how does making them wait three months before making their immortal slave armies or going on with their lives like they would in literally any other city except the one that's supposed to be where they're most welcome accomplish anything besides punishing the ones who aren't?

If you're into people who look like they've had their own ego stuffed up their backside for so long they forgot it was back there and thought their face was just stuck in a bitchy, uncomfortable expression, sure.

[om_nom_namur]

Must be good for someone else too, otherwise she wouldn't get 'way with it all the time.

An' hell if I know. Mean if it was me I'd be usin' that time t' check 'em out an' figure out if they's the cool kind or one a the asshats that's gonna 'ventually wind up with my fist through their face. But I ain't the one runnin' for shit either. How'd you handle it?

There y' go. 'S why I'm ignorin' her.

[unhappy]

Well yeah, because she has the mayor and the justice department in her pocket. People don't want to look into anything that isn't directly affecting them, and most of the people who vote never set foot in Everglade.

I don't know, not treat people like criminals before they've committed a crime. Just an idea. [ She's not great at the politics part of this tbh. ]

I think that's kind of my point about people just ignoring people because of stupid reasons.