text + billboards of the front cover all over every city

[unhappy]

[ Within the book, it just contains ridiculous blog-style stories about how Cassian used to use pink milk to bake cookies on the veranda of his frozen planet home with his mother, then wake up because it was just a dream. His mother is dead, his life is shit. He must rebel. So he makes angry pink cookies.

Each recipe has a story of similar caliber, and most of the recipes are absolute shit. They are all next to weird pictures, some of him just barbecuing and smiling warmly at K2SO or some just making awful candid faces. The back cover photo is probably photoshopped but the rest seem weirdly.. real... (Thanks Neo.)

There are 20 different recipes including: a canned tuna christmas tree, how to make grilled cheese with a clothing iron, some kind of gelatinous salad monster, hot Dr. Pepper, and many other atrocities against food. ]

guys did you check out this hot new cookbook yet

Also vote Emerald for Guardian of Everglade you guys can ask about those things too.

Comments

text

[shortandsweet]

do you think he'll sign a copy?

[ She definitely wants one! ]

Re: text

[captain_by_the_book]

No.

text

[shortandsweet]

what a spoilsport. :(

your fans deserve better!

Re: text

[unhappy]

I've been informed of what the Christmas spirit is supposed to be at work. Maybe his heart will grow three sizes and he'll change his mind.

text

[shortandsweet]

this holiday is weird.

[Text]

[aurabble]

[He doesn't comment on the cookbook. It's too painful.]

Hey.

Re: [Text]

[unhappy]

Hi. Did you get your copy yet? We have to support Cassian or he won't have retirement money.

Re: [Text]

[aurabble]

I'm good.

So you're running for guardian

text

[captain_by_the_book]

Emerald, what did you do?

Re: text

[unhappy]

I bought your super amazing cookbook. Now I too know the secrets of grilled cheese on a clothing iron.

Re: text

[captain_by_the_book]

How titillating.

I don't appreciate this present.

text

[crapton_of_luck]

I'll take two.

[No Lucky you are not getting a copy for Spada on the remote chance he shows up, he would burn the thing within ten seconds, you know he would.]

Re: text

[unhappy]

Go to a bookstore and get one then! It's worth every cent.

Re: text

[crapton_of_luck]

Got it! I'll let you know what I think!

[ not here ]

[bright_imperius]

[ But if anyone visits his apartment, the book's sitting on the coffee table in his living room. ]

text;

[orlokbutterfly]

I am 99% sure that salad thing is actually a monster from Towers & Tarrasques

that thing will consume you not the other way around

Re: text;

[unhappy]

I don't know what that is but it sounds like boring nerd crap

[om_nom_namur]

Why y' wanna be Guardian? Ain't it gonna be... I'unno. A big pain in the ass?

[unhappy]

It definitely will be. But if I keep staying the same as I always am and I keep being miserable about it, I'm not going to stop being miserable. It's a step in the direction I need to go I guess?

[ She really.. needs to sort out her answer to that. Part of her is still mixed up about it, and embarrassed. But she's going to try. ]

It's something I need to do. It's not some selfless reason or anything.

[mother_of_monsters]

All of those recipes are a health hazard. [As someone who actually enjoys cooking, Dray had to share his opinion.]

I like the tuna Christmas tree, though. [Because cat.]

Ohhh I didn't know Emerald was running for Guardian!

[unhappy]

I mean, I'd probably try any of it, but even some of those look iffy to me.

I am!

[k2so]

Did Cassian wrote this without telling me? I missed a lot while I was dead.

[Yes, all those recipes look normal to him. The advantage of having no tastebuds.]

[unhappy]

He must have. We're all tragically in the dark about his secret author career.

Private Text

[solar_flare]

[Yang saw the submission form, and she's honestly not sure what to think of it. Or what to think of Emerald, for that matter, it's so hard to tell when she's being genuine or twisting things to appear the way she wants. She's a good actress, Yang knows that much at least. So she'll just go to the source.]

[And five minutes later after a hilarious string of garbled attempts to text without her stylus, she gives up and uses the voice-to-text feature.]

You serious about this? If so, why?

Private Text

[unhappy]

Yeah. If I wasn't I wouldn't bother, it's way too annoying to do the whole politics game and people are going to ask a bunch of dumb questions. :)

[ But she does answer those "dumb questions" honestly at least, even if she didn't really answer Yang's question yet. Putting it as a private conversation made Emerald close herself off there. If she'd been anyone else, maybe asked publicly, she'd be more open. She's ready to try, not make BFFs with personal confessions. She might not have even answered that if Cassian asked her, really, and Merc she probably would've said something stupid. But if it's not personal, then she's not letting anyone really get close even if she tells. So she may not answer Yang today, but she'll answer on stage later. ]