⋆ 02 - [ video ]

[actualhumandisaster]

[ This video starts out with a nice shot of one of those Grievous action figures advertised in the newspaper set into the snow on some sort of flat surface. Grievous in the snow? Sure, why not. He almost looks festive, at least.

What follows next is a sound some may recognize. The tell-tale hiss of a lightsaber being activated off-screen followed by the low, constant hum of the plasma blade. Said blade of deadly energy now shifts into view, skyblue and slowly approaching the action figure, melting whatever snow or ice is nearby. The blade never touches plastic Grievous, though. The heat it radiates is enough to trigger the whole melting process and as the figure slowly changes form, a soft chuckle can be heard. ]

Looking good, General.

[ The lightsaber blade disappears again with another hiss, but the camera remains on the figure as the melting continues while it slowly cools down. ]

I heard there's some sort of festival approaching.

[ The off-camera voice speaks again, this time clearly addressing the audience. ]

Would anyone be inclined to explain what all this is about?

[ Now there's a small, Christmas-y bell-ornament dangling into view of the camera before the gloved hand holding it moves it towards the now oddly deformed Grievous figure and hangs it onto one of his now curled plastic lightsabers. Now he's festive, right? ]

Oh, and... Don't vote for this guy.

[ The same black-gloved hand now points at the molten figure. ]

You see what happens if you expose him to too much heat. That may not be the qualities you're looking for. A couple of guardian police droids might be better suited for the job. And yes, I can build those too.

Comments

[Video]

[generalgrievous]

[The General neither looks nor sounds happy about this.]

This is unacceptable behavior.

[Video]

[actualhumandisaster]

[ Meanwhile Anakin sounds and looks perfectly innocent as he turns the phone around to grin at the camera. ]

Why not? I legally bought this guy from the money I was given. I'd even say he looks better now.

[video]

[crapton_of_luck]

[Lucky is watching the action figure melting with a look of awe on his face]

That is so cool!

[video]

[actualhumandisaster]

It's actually pretty hot, still.

[ Anakin nudges the figure with a gloved, cybernetic finger, but leaves the camera to show the figure. It shifts its form a little further due to being touched. ]

Though the current temperatures should help with the cooling process.

[Video]

[kalmaleader]

[And what is the point of this? While Qubine is aware that Grievous is some kind of machine, he highly doubts that he was made as cheaply as the action figures.]

...I hardly think that Grievous is made from the same material.

[Video]

[actualhumandisaster]

[ There's a bit of a snort from behind the camera. ]

Aww, come on. The moment you use a lightsaber, the material doesn't matter anymore anyway.

[ Is this a verbal shrug? Well, yes. It is. ]

[innocent_royal]

[She has a feeling the question would be too obvious. The little lady was more curious than anything.]

...It is clear you have a negative history with the General. I do not wish to pry, but I am curious.

[actualhumandisaster]

He tried to kill me a few times, yes. And my friends. And my teacher. And my student... He actually killed a couple of my men. I guess that counts as bad history.

[ And yes, he's aware that people here don't care about the pasts of other beings, which makes the whole matter so frustrating. The deaths of his friends and fellow Jedi mean nothing. ]

[spacepeterpan]

...guessing you've got a history, then.

[...the Doctor isn't exactly thrilled to see that sort of quasi-veiled aggression. Even if on the one hand it's just destroying a toy figurine, on the other, it's alarmingly close to melting someone in effigy, which is a bit much. Not that he's in full Judging Mode. ...not yet, anyway.]

[actualhumandisaster]

Oh, he just tried to kill me a few times.

Me, my friends... He actually killed several of my men, a few Jedi and tried to kidnap my astromech.

[ Among other things, really. ]

[k2so]

Nice puppet show. Was that a lightsaber? A real one?

The festival in question is called Christmas. It's about eating until you almost explode, giving presents to people and letting a strange man dressed in red into your house. I've heard we are not allowed to shoot at him. He's called Santa Cloise.

[actualhumandisaster]

It's my lightsaber, yes.

Christmas, huh? Well, that's a new one. Am I obligated to participate in these festivities? Since I see several points on this list that I'll have trouble to complete.

[captain_by_the_book]

[ He... can feel the headache coming on, really. So much for hiding from the Jedi who met him as his ever charming Imperial self. But this is kinda important to address. ]

That's an impressive display, please make sure that you refrain from repeating it with the actual Deputies.

[ Or, you know, at least with his Deputies. ]

[actualhumandisaster]

Hey, I remember you!

[ POINTING OUT THE IMPORTANT STUFF HERE!

...because, seriously. He's getting tired of people warning him to behave. He's a Jedi for Force's sake. ]

Video

[blindpuppet]

[She's bored and just found out there are action figures of her. It's a very strange feeling.]

You're talking about Christmas. It's a holiday. What do you want to know about it?

Video

[actualhumandisaster]

Yeah, I was given the holiday's name and the thing with the food and some guy in red visiting the beings on this planet. But what exactly is being celebrated anyway?

[ Video ]

[bright_imperius]

[ It looks like he's fighting from keeping a smile from his face. ]

Well that looks ... cathartic.

[ Shrugs, then; ]

Seems like we've got some droids here already, but I'm not sure why they're not running for the job, instead of just being deputies.

[ Video ]

[actualhumandisaster]

[ Oh, look who we got here... Anakin turns his phone around to raise a brow at the screen. ]

I was more thinking about an entire police force made up from droids. Like the one that is being maintained on Coruscant.

Video

[lovesomes]

You mean Christmas? [She said before pointing to said the bell ornament thing]

It's something that you celebrate with your friends and family! And if you're lucky, you might even a lot of presents too.

Video

[actualhumandisaster]

Yeah, that. Kaytoo already told me about the food and that you're not permitted to shoot Santa Cloise.

[ See? He.... Learned. Something. Or.... Well. ]

Do you like this holiday?

Video

[youfool]

[Gee, all these explanations and none have told him the True Meaning of Christmas. Deploy the Charlie Brown special

I'd be happy to explain the meaning of the holy holiday, if none else have.

Video

[actualhumandisaster]

So it's a holy holiday as well?

[ Not just about depression and not shooting the guy in red? ]

[gotabadfeelingaboutthis]

Yeah, he doesn't make me too comfortable either.

It sounds like it's some kind of winter festival. Maybe a little like Fete Week on Coruscant but not as long?

[Han has a little bit of a bad feeling, but Anakin isn't wearing the black suit and wheezing, so he'll just keep calm for the moment, nasty memories aside. He just thinks it'll be really awkward if Leia ever shows up.]

[actualhumandisaster]

Can't say I've ever heard of Fete Week before...

[ But then again, Coruscant is huge and has a vast population. So it might be a thing on it somewhere. ]

So you're from Coruscant?

[Video]

[scarlet_devil]

Wow. And they say I'm childish. These people have clearly never met you.

[Video]

[actualhumandisaster]

Well, their loss.