VIDEO

[sarcastass]

I have... an exceedingly important question.

For all of you.

[Yeah it's video alright, Genessia's number one shitty hermit, long hair all undone. Midge? Midge must be behind the camera, he's always somewhere.

The demon grabs at a lock of hair on the left side of his face, gesturing violently at it. The hair, in response, flashes a brilliant silver, before zipping into yellow shades, black polka dots vibrating energetically across it]

What's it doing? I see spots.

I know there are spots.

What color is it?

This is very, very important, I need to know who is messing with my hair. Is it that dog?

Tell him I'm going to kill him. I'm going to kill that dog. You're a heartless monster.

Don't ever mess with my hair.

EVER.

It's not a stupid color is it? I swear to god if it's stupid-

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[sarcastass]

"I did not give you permission to touch my hair." WE DON'T DO THAT IN PUBLIC PEOPLE WILL THINK HE LIKES SOMEONE.

He goes to swat at Tannusen, Midge demurely bobbing along for the ride. Not helping.

"Why are you suddenly so interested in the color wheel?!" Oops back to bright red!

[black_black_heart]

"Oh, there it goes back to what I have to assume is 'crankypants red'," Tannusen laughed, thus swatted, and went back to Jethro to pop it off its kickstand and start pushing it forward. Yep, the bike-kirin's coming with. Again. Problem?

[sarcastass]

GOOD IT CAN STAY THERE. He slicked his hair back again, and set the hat down on it, snorting. There, better. Now he doesn't have to worry about whatever the hell his new EMOTIONS ANTENNA is broadcasting.

No, there's no issue with Jethro, except-

"If that thing starts rummaging through my house, I'm making it a kennel."

[black_black_heart]

Szel had met Jethro while in Lev-mode, and could probably hear the disdainful snort from the kirin even though he couldn't actually hear it. It was there.

"Find him an interesting enough book and he'll stay put to read it," Tannusen said cheerfully, pushing the bike along. "I brought his reading glasses."

That's right.

The kirin has fucking reading glasses.

For his stag-dragon-horse-fish face.

[sarcastass]

"Do they wrap around his head or have you bought a pair of dragon horse fish pince nez?"

Past the gurgling pits of Hell, into the immaculate fortress they went, servants scuttling left and right. The lazy, bumblebee like demon that had been napping in the library the last time Tannusen showed his face was here, and then gone in an instant, shooting the pooka what one might assume to be a dirty look before he did.

Hard to tell with a fucking bumblebee face.

"I'll find a book that won't trouble me too much if it happens to turn up missing."

[black_black_heart]

"They just have very long arms--" sorry, Tannusen was briefly distracted by the bee fucking booking it. That shit was hilarious.

"...Oh, like we've ever had thieving tendencies without a hefty dash of necessity. I think your collection of bad porn and cosmic novelties is safe."

[sarcastass]

Look, that bee remembers you, shithead. He doesn't want to deal with you again, the last time you were here he got in so much goddamn trouble.

"Alright, not all the erotic reading material is bad, you just have bad luck. There are plenty of books in there that are far better than what you picked up."

[black_black_heart]

Well hey, if the bee hadn't been a lazy shit he... probably would have gotten in Tannusen's way and won a free trip to the teacup rides at some carnival somewhere, and then still been in trouble...

Sometimes napping on the clock paid off.

"Let's skip smut altogether, hm? Unless you want notes again."

Would it matter that it had been Jethro reading it? Nope, not at all.

"I could drop the Wyrd on the place and he could occupy himself chasing your loyal subjects around. Are they all bugs?"

[sarcastass]

At least he would have tried! But no, the bee isn't Midge. Only Midge gets the Get Out Of Being In Trouble Free card, everyone else is fucked.

"No. I don't. I really, really don't.

Please don't harass the help, they're tormented enough by Belz."

You know, that shitty Ninetales he has that is definitely more spoiled than some trust fund babies out there.

[black_black_heart]

Tannusen's still picturing it, sorry, and he's awfully amused by the image. "How often does a mind-meltingly pretty unicorn rampage around in hell? The novelty alone..."

[sarcastass]

"Unless Lucifer has been having a boring century? Almost never.

There was that one time.

He thought he was hilarious."

[black_black_heart]

"Ah well, I shouldn't be blowing the glamour on dragging him away every time he corners something anyway."

Jethro doesn't play any nicer than Tannusen does, after all.

"So, where are we going?"