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[sharpeinolds]

Hey kids!

I know what you're all thinking.

Wow, I can't believe Spiderman finally hit puberty! Aren't his abs amazing, I just want to rub my face all over them.

First of all, thanks, I work out.

Second of all, don't call me Spiderman, lets get that out of the way right now.

Third of all, I just took a nap on the bottom of a cave because I.... accidentally... kicked the fancy Star Wars hologram over there, just wanted to put that out there: Don't kick the hologram. PSA here, kids.

Forth of all, I lost track of what I was listing.

And fifth of all because I'm on a roll and I need to prove I'm sober and I can count to five, does anyone have directions to a really cheap bar? I'll also accept directions to the pharmacy or a tire and lube.

I'm gonna need a few more chemicals in me before I deal with this. It's for my sake, not your-

I mean your sake, not mi-

No definitely my sake, sorry. Promised a friend I wasn't going to lie as much anymore.

Comments

[singinghuntress]

[At this point, Rip just leans back in her seat with an amused look on her features.]

Two very unique lovers that I absolutely adore.

[One of which she was practically married to in all but name.]

Don't tell me zhat you're already looking for someone to fuck just after your arrival.

[sharpeinolds]

It's kind of part of the whole first day tour thing. I promised I wouldn't fuck Colossus or Cable, there was nothing in there saying no hot German vampire babes.

[singinghuntress]

Sounds like you haf an 'off limits' list~.

[She might be eyeing him slightly and considering it.]

A hot German vampire babe zhat is probably twice your age und fought in vars well before you vere born.

[sharpeinolds]

Isn't that standard with like most hot vampires? Not the war thing, but I'm not going to lie, that's pretty metal.

[singinghuntress]

I zuppose you could say zhat.

[Flattery gets you everywhere~.]

Is it~? I didn't realize zhe second vorld var vas considered 'metal'.

[sharpeinolds]

OOoh thaaaaat one. Well.

[God, morals though. Because he's not dumb at all, he really isn't, he knows how to draw conclusions.

He'd rather not be JUMPING to them though.

It's been over seventy years, people can change!

Right? RIGHT]

... How scary were the Fins?

[singinghuntress]

[Sure, lets go with that. Admittedly, Rip has changed quite a bit in the last... three years. ]

Of all zhe things to ask me about zhe var, you ask about zhe Fins.

[She rolls her eyes slightly.]

Zhey vere annoying. Now, zhe Russians vere scary bastards. But, zhen again.. I vas stationed in Warsaw during zhe var und attached to a research battalion.

[sharpeinolds]

I like the Fins!

... Okay no I like the Russians too, I can't lie, Colossus isn't that bad, his ass makes up for his... everything else.

That sounds like fun, I was special ops. Not... not then, I wasn't even a zygote but eventually.

[singinghuntress]

...I'm not even going to ask vho Colossus iz, I haf a feeling I don't vant to know.

[Or maybe she does. She might ask.. later.]

It vas. Just so long as you didn't mind zhe sounds of prisoners screaming. I vas human back zhen, but, still one hell of a sniper.

[sharpeinolds]

I mean you might, I'm not kidding about his ass.

See, now you're losing me, I don't like playing guess who with my dick, I'm really turned off by implied human experimentation. Bit of a sore spot.

[singinghuntress]

[Now that gets a raised eyebrow.]

Zhe research conducted zhere is vat lead to my creation und zhe creation of nearly a thousand ozher vampires in my battalion. Zo if you're turned off by human experimentation und I'm a product of zhat, I guess sex between us isn't an option.

Pity, I vas considering it.

[sharpeinolds]

Oh maaaan, you're a human experiment?

That's craaazy, I'm a human experiment too! Wow, small world!

Wish I kept all my hair. Shit, I should have been born in 1905. Yeah, my human experiment experience wasn't nearly so hot, super sub par.

Zero out of five stars.

[singinghuntress]

[Now that gets a chuckle out of her.]

I'd rate zhe process at a two out of five, but zhe results a five out of five for success. Plus, I got to keep my hair.

It definitely does sounds like zhis is a small vorld.