genessia | backdated to the 26th

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backdated to the 26th - video

[With all of the shaky-cam and heavy breathing of a shitty homemade horror film, here is Sasha, creeping through the woods, peering through the trees to reveal: a beautiful, pure, innocent unicorn.

Then, it's gone, and the camera gives you a nice shot of Sasha's face, and-- oh, dear, is that drool?]

Guys! Look at this! I've never seen one before?

D-do you think it tastes good....? Maybe I should try eating one for my birthday...

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[He doesn't know what to say to that.]

Okay.

[If she wants to eat a whatever the fuck that is--probably a leftover spirit or something, she should.

As an afterthought ~~but not really~~.]

Happy Birthday.

Thanks! I already feel older and more mature. Sophisticated, even.

[...Yeah she's as sophisticated as Eren is quiet.] Too bad. I was going to suggest we hunt that...whatever. But clearly your tastes are too refined and sophisticated for that. Maybe I'll ask the others to save you some potato peels sprinkled with rose water or something instead.

[ ... Sasha. ] No, you can't eat that!

[ Oh right but; ]

Happy Birthday! Let's get you something else to eat, okay?

Do+ yo+u fancy yo+urself a hunter? It seems like it wo+uld be difficult to+ catch.

Sort of, yeah! Soldier, Hunter, Lover of all things delicious and fun!

What else do+ yo+u find delicio+us o+r fun?

Why would you want to eat a poor innocent unicorn?

Is that what it is?

Uh--- don't be sad! It was just a thought, and-- look! [ She scrambles to move her camera back to the spot where the Unicorn had previously been-- now empty forest. ] It's not even there! I can't eat it!

From what I remember from story books it looks like one.

[She looked a little happier at least that it wasn't going to be eaten.]

It must be getting home to it's family maybe. We know nothing about it after all.

[Yuna wasn't exactly sure what to make of this really. Tilting her head curiously she was trying to understand why she looked so hungry at seeing something like that.]

I... Guess it might taste good, but I dn't quite understand why that would be a thought just looking at them.

Someone had to look at a pig and wonder if it might taste good. That's how we got bacon.

Well... We never had pigs where I am from.

[They have a lot of monsters though, that could be worse than eating a unicorn.]

But I guess I can understand that to an extent, but I don't think I would have ever considered it.

[Yugi looks... kind of surprised more than anything.]

I didn't even know they existed, even in this world.

Me either, until now.

What made you wonder if you could eat it though> That's kind of a random thought.

That's not a meat horse. It's too skinny, and that horn would probably make it taste weird.

Edited (1 horn, more grammar fail) 2015-07-28 13:55 (UTC)

But I've never seen one before now! I want to eat it!

Your world doesn't have horses?

Of course we have horses! We don't have weird, horned ones!

Yeah, it is kinda weird. Do you eat horses?

[ He comes from a place where people eat horses, but the ones for food are bred and raised differently from the ones for riding. Some people seemed oddly horrified at the concept of eating any type of horse.]

[The green haired girl looks very worried.]

Please don't eat it.

[Unless it attacks Sasha Terra doesn't want to see it get hurt.]

Ya know, I've just got this idea that maaaaaybe ya shouldn't. Just a thought.

The blood of a unicorn, freshly spilled, is a great way to inflict a horrifying curse on yourself if you're the one that spilled it.

I really, really, really recommend not doing it for that alone, if nothing else.

I guess it's a good thing it ran away while I made this message...

... Yup. DEFINITELY a good thing.

Koishi was certainly getting better with her phone. She didn't even fumble this time.

"Umm... Miss. I really really like meat too, but if that's what I think it is you really, REALLY shouldn't try to eat it. If you want good hunting spots though I can show you where to catch some normal animals..."

Can you tell me where those bunting spots are?

"Oh... OH! Umm..." Koishi pursed her lips a little. "If you follow the path out of Fayren on the side the sun rises. If you follow that for quite a ways and turn right into the forest you'll come to a good spot. It's where the trees start thinning and where the wildflowers start in the spring and summer. There's a bit of an incline. But that's only if you're looking for big game..."

One after another, Koishi rattled off various hunting locations and what one might expect to find there. More than one included the presence of several large and very dangerous animals but that was to be expected...

Thanks.

[ He can figure out that some of those places have dangerous animals.]

Some of those areas seem a bit too tough for me to go alone.

I could go with you! I've been hunting in Fayren since I got here. It's where I am now!

"Umm... I could go too if you wanted. But humans have a hard time if I eat what we catch right away instead of waiting to cook it. I like cooked meat better but sometimes I'm impatient and I don't usually have someone that knows how to cook with me."

We could hunt as a group.As long as humans don't have to eat it uncooked.

S-Sasha! Sasha, no! Don't do it!!

Come back home and I can... I'll bake you a cake and cook something even more amazing!

It's gone already anyway!

--- Cake! That's right, we had a cake for your birthday, we need one for mine too!

Whew... I mean, don't sound so upset about it! You'll find something better, I'm sure!

What flavor do you like? I can bake one for you whenever you're ready.

Better... Like cake!

I like all the cake flavors! Just mix them all together!

I...don't know how that will taste.

What's your favorite flavor of anything? There's a rainbow kind that I could make with different flavors or vanilla, strawberry, and a chocolate cake.

[Wow. Satsuki just witnessed some some crazy shit. Deciding that's enough network for one day, she turns it off and returns to work.]

Edited 2015-07-31 00:31 (UTC)

I think you'd be in for bad luck, if you eat an unicorn. You don't want that on your birthday do you?

[Please save the poor guy. He's innocent.]

Sasha.... Whatever that was..... Don't eat it....

[And after Petra and Mikasa worked together to make you a cake.... And then a smaller one for everyone else.]

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backdated to the 26th - video

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