10 BRAINS; voice
I'm not the greatest ad spokesperson in the world, but as usual, if you know science, the Genessian Scientific Research Foundation could use your help. We're seriously understaffed right now and the more people we have working, the more likely we are to find something. I'm a surgeon-turned-assistant medical examiner-turned-pathologist, there are only so many possibilities I can cover or you'd probably be getting more frequent updates, Genessia.
How many of you are from the U.S.? I know this isn't exactly the home-of-the-brave here, but I'll admit to missing out on barbecues and fireworks. Is anyone doing anything tomorrow?
locked to blaine (or action if he's around the apt or her work, whichever you want)
Where have you been?
action for toby
[ Liv had categorically refused to go into Everglade unless someone needed her help. Fortunately, there were enough healers around that it hadn't really become an issue. Not enough that anyone ever sent out a call for a medical doctor anyway. All of those people tended to end up at a hospital of some kind if they weren't healed immediately.
Which is why when she was on her way to meet Toby, she always insisted they meet at the Everglade gate. She'd found that it was kind of nice having a person around who understood why she couldn't tell her secret who wasn't also busy with work all the time (David, as good of a friend as he was to her) or seemed to think it was a big cosmic joke (Blaine, the man who infected her in the first place). As it turned out, as with back home, the more people she could trust the better she felt about anything. Even if she still hadn't found her purpose, she was still trying. THat was better than the first time- no couch-bound Liv today.
She wasn't sure where they were going today, just that they'd decided to hang out, so Liv waited by the archway gate, messing around on her phone while she waited. ]
How many of you are from the U.S.? I know this isn't exactly the home-of-the-brave here, but I'll admit to missing out on barbecues and fireworks. Is anyone doing anything tomorrow?
locked to blaine (or action if he's around the apt or her work, whichever you want)
Where have you been?
action for toby
[ Liv had categorically refused to go into Everglade unless someone needed her help. Fortunately, there were enough healers around that it hadn't really become an issue. Not enough that anyone ever sent out a call for a medical doctor anyway. All of those people tended to end up at a hospital of some kind if they weren't healed immediately.
Which is why when she was on her way to meet Toby, she always insisted they meet at the Everglade gate. She'd found that it was kind of nice having a person around who understood why she couldn't tell her secret who wasn't also busy with work all the time (David, as good of a friend as he was to her) or seemed to think it was a big cosmic joke (Blaine, the man who infected her in the first place). As it turned out, as with back home, the more people she could trust the better she felt about anything. Even if she still hadn't found her purpose, she was still trying. THat was better than the first time- no couch-bound Liv today.
She wasn't sure where they were going today, just that they'd decided to hang out, so Liv waited by the archway gate, messing around on her phone while she waited. ]
action;
Why not write it down?
[He takes a long sip of his drink.]
You can't forget then and you can write down each brain, each person. Things are never forgotten if they're written.
[Toby isn't a big writer or reader.]
action;
action;
[He knows someone who has a similar problem though it's through memory altercation and control. Instead of turning into different people he turns into a robot. So Toby can understand to a degree though it's nothing he's experienced himself.]
Sounds difficult. How do you do handle it?
action;
[ Which she realizes she should probably explain in case it isn't self-evident due to differing movies. ]
As in flesh starts to rot, I disappear completely, and want nothing more than to use my superhuman strength to tear apart and eat any flesh at all. I try to err on the side of brains and hope for the best.
[ She doesn't handle it well honestly, but she tries. "Hope for the best" is the most optimistic way she can think of to put that. ]
action;
Sounds like you have it figured out. [At least that's what he's getting at.]
Now you just need to stop feeling guilty about surviving.
[This is a case of the pot calling the kettle black; pot meet kettle.]
action;
[ If only it were that easy. ]
action;
[He rolls his shoulders taking a long sip of her drink.]
I've done a lot of horrible things to stay alive. [...]How long have you been a zombie?
action;
[ That's the question of the century: Is being undead really the same as being alive? ]
Probably.. going on two years back home? Plus time spent here, if that counts.
action;
[He considers her alive but that's his opinion and he doesn't weight that very high. Toby has a lot of experiance in hating what you've become. He's done that for twenty years and to a degree he still does it.]
action;
[ She takes a drink of the booze before her, downing basically the whole thing. ]
But I make it work, as long as I can find some way to give back. Everglade reminds me of what I could become if I don't stick to that.
action;
[He takes a long sip of his drink, downing it before placing the empty glass down.]
Look, my family was torn apart. I became a hit man for a psychopathic jackass. I've done things that serial killers would grimace at or run in the face of. I've eaten and murdered children, making sure that nothing was left of them. The most I could do at the time is remember their names. [He knows them all.] I became a god damn bogey man to those in the Hidden World. I've cut myself off from those I know and denied myself everything because I didn't think I deserved it.
Don't be like me. Denying anything can find a way to get back at you.
action;
She had killed the coworker who had invited her to the boat party, whether she'd had to deal with it at the time or not. Just like she had been the one to convince Lowell that Blaine had to die and Lowell had died because she couldn't finish the job. She'd definitely killed Sebastian Meyer, twice. She had never killed children, she had never become something that people feared though, and she always tried to do what was right and tried to find justice for the people she had to eat.
Not trying to tell Toby that she didn't think someone like that deserved to be forgiven was hard for her. She always acted like she knew what was the right call and it always came back to bite her. Which was pretty funny considering she's the one most people would expect to do the biting. What wasn't funny was what Liv asked next, because she couldn't live with herself if she didn't try to find out. ]
Do you still do those things?
action;
No.
[His words are gruff and terse and he quickly gulps down the next drink before he continues.] I don't think I will. [There are parts of himself that have been bred into a weapon. If he were to snap or lose control he has no idea what he'd do. So far the only casualties have been trees but Toby isn't enough of an optimist to think it'll stay that way.
If she were to ask him if he deserves forgiveness he'd automatically have an answer; no. There is nothing that will fully be able to punish him for the things he's done. He doesn't deserve to be happy. Prior to arriving in Genessia he's had to look into the faces of the families that he's torn apart.
It doesn't matter what side of the fight he finds himself on; he'll always just be a tool used for war. Toby is pretty sure that's the only reason he's still alive.]
action;
If you don't still do it and you don't plan on it, we don't have a problem.
action;
[His tone is soft however there is a deep growl that vibrates in his chest as he spoke. He already hates himself and he knows that he doesn't deserve friendship or adoration or any feeling that might lead to happiness. The best he can do is work for the families that he's torn apart.
He's just become a monster for the other side of the fight and he hates himself for that too.
Toby takes the rest of his drink but pauses, wishing for a moment that he might get drunk.] You don't have to pretend to like me.
action;
[ She looks him in the eye again finally, nursing her drink as she does. ] I'm not going to lie and say I'm comfortable with it, or that I'm happy about it, but I get it. If I didn't already have a medical degree I don't know what I would've done. I might've been on Blaine's meal plan like the rest of Seattle's zombies if I didn't just starve and start the apocalypse first. Just because I don't like what you did doesn't mean I'm pretending to like you.
action;
Now that weight threatens to crush him.]
If you say so.
Re: action;
[ She orders another pair of shots. It's the best way she can to try to lighten the conversation- neither of them wants excuses. He doesn't want her to deny the monster inside but he doesn't want her to accept his, and she doesn't know if she wants to do either. ]
So I'm going to drink you under the table for science.
action;
[He says this automatically.]
I can't get drunk. [Though he'll still take the shot and drink her under the table.] I also don't get sick like a human. [It takes deadly poisons to get Toby since and even then he usually just walks it off or sleeps it off.]
Still want to try to drink me under the table?
action;