[text] second verse, same as the first

[black_black_heart]

[Are you ready for a sequel? This isn't a double-post, Tannusen's copying his last text post's formatting on purpose.]

how

does one stop their boyfriend

from standing in the kitchen

in the dark

at 3 am

eating fucking raw potatoes like they're apples

Comments

[text]

[treesus]

Life is very difficult for you at times, is it not Tannusen?

ACTION

[feckinboomstick]

Insult me feckin' choice of food in public will ye?

[black_black_heart]

shut up Trahearne

[black_black_heart]

[Tannusen is just typing away on his phone. In the kitchen. At 3 AM. At least the light's on, now.]

You're both assholes.

[He means that with great affection. Really.]

[feckinboomstick]

[CRONCH. More potato gone]

Ye started this war, Tannusen.

[treesus]

I should make sure to get more potatoes next time I'm out, I wouldn't want Cassian not to feel at home.

[Tannu may or may not be able to hear Trahearne laughing in his room.]

[black_black_heart]

[Cassian lovs the cronch.]

I hate you both.

[black_black_heart]

don't bother, he brought a whole bag

unless he's going to eat them all right now

that would be impressive

[He can indeed hear you, asshole.]

[feckinboomstick]

Tis a lie and ye know it.

Want a potato, luv?

[treesus]

Oh by hell be over again of course!

*but

[It's hard to type straight when you're laughing. Still laughing. So much. This is great.]

[black_black_heart]

[Love, huh? Tannusen looks up from his phone to eye Cassian over his glasses. Yes, even though he's shorter than him. Is that the very slightest, tinniest bit of pink on his cheeks? Can't be.]

...Yes.

...Two. I'm going to go throw one at Trahearne's head.

[HE CAN HEAR YOU LAUGHING IN YOUR ROOM, TRAHEARNE.]

[treesus]

[STILL LAUGHING.]

[black_black_heart]

I should change the locks on you both

[feckinboomstick]

Well that wouldn't be nice, ye wouldn't throw a baby at a human would ye.

[CASS.

DO NOT EVEN.]

[treesus]

Who will provide you such thrilling entertainment at 3am if you do?

[The sex joke is coming. He knows it is.]

[black_black_heart]

I mean... yes? You wouldn't?

[black_black_heart]

a lot of people

all at the same time

[feckinboomstick]

Don't throw potatoes at the tree. Ye'll offend him.

[black_black_heart]

[YOU SON OF A BITCH.]

[No, really, the Pale Tree is a major bitch.]

[treesus]

[And there it is.]

It just wont be the same.

[treesus]

[Don't talk about my mother like that!]

[Denial is strong with this one.]

[black_black_heart]

[Tannusen pockets his phone for now in favor of trying to snatch a potato. WATCH HIM.]

I hope these are as hard as they sound.

[It's not even an innuendo, for once.]

[feckinboomstick]

If they are ye'll give the poor plant a concussion.

[black_black_heart]

and we'll have the orgy on your bed

you know, to include you

[black_black_heart]

Good.