[text] second verse, same as the first

[black_black_heart]

[Are you ready for a sequel? This isn't a double-post, Tannusen's copying his last text post's formatting on purpose.]

how

does one stop their boyfriend

from standing in the kitchen

in the dark

at 3 am

eating fucking raw potatoes like they're apples

Comments

[text]

[treesus]

Life is very difficult for you at times, is it not Tannusen?

[black_black_heart]

shut up Trahearne

[treesus]

I should make sure to get more potatoes next time I'm out, I wouldn't want Cassian not to feel at home.

[Tannu may or may not be able to hear Trahearne laughing in his room.]

ACTION

[feckinboomstick]

Insult me feckin' choice of food in public will ye?

[black_black_heart]

[Tannusen is just typing away on his phone. In the kitchen. At 3 AM. At least the light's on, now.]

You're both assholes.

[He means that with great affection. Really.]

[feckinboomstick]

[CRONCH. More potato gone]

Ye started this war, Tannusen.

A Solution

[imukurofenrir]

This may sound a bit brash, but have you tried laxatives or razor blades. Burning bowels and bloody gums usually do the trick in keeping people out of foods. If they are immune to that, just put a padlock or a tin can with string on the cabinets, so they just take their snackems to their own privacy.

[black_black_heart]

...well that escalated quickly

[imukurofenrir]

Sorry, I'm used to dealing with a bunch of thugs and mercenaries back in the day... perhaps a better choice is to apply static carpet (if you use metal handles) or old wood (For splinters) In the place he usually stands.

Either way, I still stand by laxitives, but maybe some decoy wax potatoes work a bit more viably.

[feckinboomstick]

Aye, seems like a good way to lose a significant other in five minutes or less.

It'll solve the issue of anyone eatin' in your house ever again.

Possibly solve the issue of havin' to pay property tax too, what since one might be sent to a max security prison.

[imukurofenrir]

You're thinking a bit to close minded.

I mean, Its not like your lacing ALL the food, just the ones the lover has. If their relationship were strong enough, it would be seen as a wake up call.

[sonicosuper]

You didn't get better snacks after I suggested it last time, did you?

Your poor boyfriend needs to be given better snack options!

^^

*Lucky him to have a boyfriend in his kitchen. If she ever gets a boyfriend there will be plenty of snack options for him*

[black_black_heart]

look

he brought the potatoes with him

it's not my fault

[captain_by_the_book]

It's just potatoes. Be glad he isn't eating anything disgusting.

[black_black_heart]

this is true

even if he is trying to make it into a revenge thing

[Video]

[shy_mage]

[Bracken hadn't missed the first text post, but he had a tendency to 'scroll by' text posts to 'go back and look at them later'. The 'later' usually didn't happen.

But this was short and looked kind of familiar even though it was new, so he paused to read it. But he, of course, switched to video.]

Wh-Why would you want to stop him?

[Eating potatoes didn't sound very harmful.]

I-Is it... Is it because they're raw? M-Maybe you can bake one for him, and put lots of ch-cheese on it.

[text]

[black_black_heart]

[Oh, Bracken. Tannu's sticking with text for now, though.]

he broke into my apartment

[YOU GAVE HIM A KEY, TANNUSEN.]

and brought potatoes with him

just to pull this stunt

a whole bag

it's not right, man, it's just not right

[02crusnikabel]

Eh? He didn't cook them properly again?! And raw potatoes this time? Somebody is going to have a tummy ache!

[black_black_heart]

buddy, Trahearne's not my boyfriend

no, I've got two of these assholes doing weird food things now

I don't even care what other people eat usually

I just care when I get yelled at about what other people eat

[k2so]

I take it that the skylight idea did not work.

[black_black_heart]

the boyfriend isn't the tree

in fact since he's albino he probably doesn't handle the sun that well

I haven't asked

[Text

[justicereigns]

Pre-cook them.

[black_black_heart]

nah man he brought a bag of them himself

we didn't even have potatoes in the apartment until now

text;

[moviemagic]

You seem to have so many problems with people eating your food don't you? If this is the same person, obviously.

[black_black_heart]

same writer, different person eating in my kitchen in the dark at 3 am

[Neither post is anonymous, of course. Not really sensitive information, these.]

it's becoming an epidemic