011 | my star has left me (to take the bitter pill)

[mortal_son]

[ AUDIO ] | [ Backdated to Monday afternoon ]

Uh, there -

[ There's some shuffling sound, like he's setting the phone up somewhere, still. ]

Right. So.

... I ain't good at this, either the talkin or the - well.

But just writin it seemed ... not enough, and. All of you are probably sick of seein my face, so.

[ There's a brief pause, before he goes on. He sounds very, very tired, but his voice is nonetheless serious, and firm. ]

I frightened the hell outta a lot of you.

I said a lot of stuff, some of it to some people I don't even know.

And, it's complicated, but I can say that - while it wasn't all me, it was a part of me. So, yeah, I ain't gonna pretend it isn't my fault.

I'm sorry.

[ He swallows. ]

I am sorry.

I'm not gonna. Just sit around feelin guilty, though. Not -

[ Coughs. ]

- Yeah. So.

Up to you if you take this seriously.

But let me know if I can make it up to you.

[ And then the audio is turned off. ]

Comments

audio;

[mortal_son]

[ He only really knows them from the dog video - they were anonymous when they were asking about the worst things people had done, that they felt remorse for.

Sounding slightly confused: ] Cause I was a jerk to people who didn't deserve it, and I'm ownin up to it?

audio;

[corruptedsave]

And? It's just words. Smart people will get over it.

audio;

[mortal_son]

Words can hurt, kid. Even if someone told you different.

Not everyone's tough enough to just roll with it.

audio;

[corruptedsave]

So... Who used words to hurt you?

[Just ignoring the rest of what was said.]

audio;

[mortal_son]

[ Frankly: ] Me, mostly.

[ And if this kid gave him grief about it? Who cared. He was right when he said he was made of tougher stuff than most people. ]

audio;

[corruptedsave]

I don't mean self loathing, kiddo.

[Their tone goes flat and just slightly sounds unamused.]

audio;

[mortal_son]

'S true all the same.

[ His shrug is unseen by the camera. But just listen to how much he cares, Chara. ]

Anybody else was just noise.

audio;

[corruptedsave]

So you've hated yourself all on your own, huh?

[The not caring doesn't work on them, they can do that too.]

I can understand that.

audio;

[mortal_son]

[ Yeah, you're not going to get his life story out of him just like that, self-acceptance or not. ]

Look, I'm not gonna pretend most people aren't jerks.

But since I ain't one of 'em, that's why I'm apologizing for actin like one.

audio;

[corruptedsave]

[Can't fault the kid for trying?]

I've found most people who try so hard to prove they aren't "jerks" end up being the biggest ones of them all.

Even after apologizing.

audio;

[mortal_son]

Fair 'nough.

[ Because the kid had a point. ]

Guess it's a difference between lip service, caring 'bout appearances -

- or actually giving a shit.

[ Another unseen shrug ]

And I ain't gonna tell you how I land, there. I'll let you judge that for yourself.

audio;

[corruptedsave]

You might not like my judgement in this situation, assuming you'd even care.

[And really that's all they have to say on the subject.]

audio;

[mortal_son]

Not really, no.

[ Though he will wonder, privately, what the hell happened to put such a large chip on the kid's shoulder. ]

audio;

[corruptedsave]

[He'll never know without ever asking, or doing the friendship quest. Whatever works for him.]

Ha! Well good luck with that apologizing thing then.