video

[sharpeinolds]

Hey kids!

I know what you're all thinking.

Wow, I can't believe Spiderman finally hit puberty! Aren't his abs amazing, I just want to rub my face all over them.

First of all, thanks, I work out.

Second of all, don't call me Spiderman, lets get that out of the way right now.

Third of all, I just took a nap on the bottom of a cave because I.... accidentally... kicked the fancy Star Wars hologram over there, just wanted to put that out there: Don't kick the hologram. PSA here, kids.

Forth of all, I lost track of what I was listing.

And fifth of all because I'm on a roll and I need to prove I'm sober and I can count to five, does anyone have directions to a really cheap bar? I'll also accept directions to the pharmacy or a tire and lube.

I'm gonna need a few more chemicals in me before I deal with this. It's for my sake, not your-

I mean your sake, not mi-

No definitely my sake, sorry. Promised a friend I wasn't going to lie as much anymore.

Comments

[black_black_heart]

Tannusen of course, showed no reaction to said face; it was less gruesome than before! Maybe the open lesions had finally somehow healed up? Or just hadn't happened yet?

"Yes, well, my aim improves every day," ba dum tch, and Tannusen poured them both tea, sliding the mug for Wade across the top of the bar as well.

[sharpeinolds]

Gosh who knows? It was pretty early on in Wade's unstoppable unkillable mercenary gig. There's plenty of time of ulcers to develop!

He snagged the offered mug and took a quick sip of it, before digging into the steak set before him like a starving animal.

"Yeah I think that'd be the general implication of missing me. So, what is the job anyway? Or is it a surprise?

Do I get to guess my job?

Can I be the bouncer and the bar supplied date?

I look great as a blond."

[black_black_heart]

"I mean, you can dip your toe into security if you want to, I'm sure K-2SO wouldn't mind the help. But that's not the actual job title," Tannusen came around the bar and slid onto a stool, too. "No, that would be Event Manager -- ie, professional party-thrower and shit-stirrer for the club upstairs. You were pretty fond of it before."

[sharpeinolds]

"Whoa no wait hold on time out wait stop.

The Star Wars guy?"

WADE.

"No wait my official job is shit-starter? I'm getting paid to be an asshole?"

[black_black_heart]

"The what?" Tannusen blinked, then shook his head, "You'd get paid to throw parties upstairs and promote the place. Shit-starting is a package deal with you."

[sharpeinolds]

"... Wow we really did hang out a lot." First of all, because there's a lot of tolerance going on right now.

Second of all, tolerance and acceptance that Wade probably can't behave himself for any longer than ten minutes at a time.

"I mean I'd love to cut down on my usual weekly lead consumption, this sounds like a pretty sweet deal."

[black_black_heart]

"We were friends, Wade. You're one of the least banal people I've ever met, human or not." Whelp.

[sharpeinolds]

Oh no the other F word. He stops eating for a second, staring at the other man.

Just kinda.... You know. Not really sure what to make of being told, within the first five minutes of being here, that he's got-

"... I mean yeah everyone else is kind of really boring, I got like five other pings on this phone telling me to not day drink myself into a coma, that's no fun."

EMOTIONS ARE HARD.

[black_black_heart]

Don't worry, Tannusen's aware that having had his memory reset, Wade won't be on board with the whole buds thing from go. Or at all? Tannu doesn't know, and isn't really angling for that at the moment.

Just, you know, yeah, he's familiar with your hi-jinks Wade.

"Baseline humanity comes with some banality by default, but yes. Most of the people on this world are pretty dull, in more than one way."

[sharpeinolds]

Do not even get him wrong here. Being told he has an actual friend is equal parts terrifying and thrilling.

He's sort of learned to dislike being alone for too long. Even at home he always had Al.

"Man you need to come back to my place. They're only boring via personality." Even Colossus was... Well.

Wade couldn't really call Colossus that boring. All the time.

He fiddles with his food for a moment, prodding at the steak.

"... So we're really friends, huh?"

[black_black_heart]

Tannusen hesitates, raising an eyebrow.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I wasn't expecting that to stick out so much to you."

[sharpeinolds]

"Look, I know I'm a stunning example of the perfect male specimen in body, mind and personality over here, but friend making isn't listed on my resume in the strengths section."

He still had Weasel, Al... Well, anyone still alive from before everything happened. He wasn't really sure where Cable stood, or Domino. Even Colossus.

Honestly everyone else was just a dice roll, who knew who'd stick around?

[black_black_heart]

"Well, it's not on mine, either."

For real. He'd been in Genessia for a while now, and he considered three whole people to be people. Maybe four at most, if you combined Lil and Jethro's half-people statuses.

"That wasn't an answer, though. Not sure which one it is?"

[sharpeinolds]

"I would not believe that." Hey, Tannusen's been one of the most welcoming people Wade's met at this point in his life now. No jokes about looking like an octogenarians nutsack?

Good person.

"No I mean like- Shit okay so-"

I MEAN

"Okay so I'm never not happy to add a new friend to my contacts list. Its-" Really super nice to have a friend. Really nice and he super wants to believe it's a hundred percent true-

"Are you... sure? Like sure sure- Friends is an F word, I need like super enthusiastic consent for that."

[black_black_heart]

"Most people, to me, are walking meat sacks oozing banality into the world with every breath. I'm not super good on making connections. My other friends are a catholic priest, an actual demon from actual-hell, an AI angel, and my motorcycle."

So you know. A weird group. Wade might just fit right in.

That last bit gets a chuckle, and Tannusen actually reaches over to -- lightly -- sock Wade in the shoulder. "We did a few F words with super enthusiastic consent, before."

[sharpeinolds]

"... So you know, the usual family friendly sitcom gang, got it."

It really does sound like he'll fit right in. He moves with the gentle punch, looking surprised for half a second-

"... Yeah I mean that's pretty fucking enthusiastic right there. Is it you? You're the guy here with the burn victim fetish? Did I just win the lottery?"

[black_black_heart]

"Was it burns? I thought it was all cancer? And it's less like a fetish and more like it just doesn't bother me," Tannusen shrugged out of his suit jacket and peeled the glove off his right hand, before rolling up his sleeve and exposing all the burns from stabbing Hastur, along with that wrist's burns from the over-reaching Baroness' use of cold iron restraints.

Not much smooth healthy skin left on that arm, or hand.

"I'm not as human as I look, and I don't perceive reality the same way humans do. My husband was a sluagh, do you know what a sluagh is?"

[sharpeinolds]

"It is cancer, but 'covered in full body cancer scars' is kind of a mouthful so it's easier to just go for the visual comparison for the sake of brevity."

He looked towards Tannusen's arm, openly interested as he got an eyeful of the burn scars along it.

"... That's some Cthulhu looking shit there." The tentacle pattern it all appeared to be, of course. Naturally, Wade didn't seem bothered in the slightest.

"I didn't play that much D&D as a kid... uuuhhh...." His fingers snapped as he tried to remember-

"Fairy. Okay, got it, it's a fairy."

[black_black_heart]

"Close, Hastur didn't appreciate being stabbed out of its host of a few thousand years," boy was that an understatement. Tannusen rolled his sleeve back down, and draped the jacket over the empty stool on his other side. "Point is, it doesn't bother me any more than my arm would bother you. Not," emphasis there, "that I think things are like they were; you don't remember me. I just feel that someone in your shoes ought to know where things stood before."

[sharpeinolds]

"Oh wait, wait I know this one I KNOW THIS ONE- Do not tell anyone I know this one, I have an image to project here and none of it involves knowing anything about H.P. Lovecraft. That's uh... that's the yellow guy! The really crazy one. I mean the extra nuts one, the payday bar deluxe."

The pause was short, but heavy. Not painfully so, but meaningful. That... meant something. Not that Wade was at all familiar anymore with people being interested in him in any fashion outside of his more murderous uses, but it still meant something.

"... Yeah." And for once, he didn't seem to have that many words.

"... I mean- Well. Yeah." He wasn't sure what to think about that momentary softness that crept into his tone there for a second.

"... That's a change."

[black_black_heart]

"You know the yellow king, and you know what a faerie is? Wade dear, you're a secret nerd."

NERD ALERT.

"...Yeah, well. It's pretty funny, because the first time we met, I climbed into your lap by the end of it," Tannusen chuckled, picking up his tea to take a drink. "But then you had to go and become a person on me."

[sharpeinolds]

"Hush, quiet, sh, SH. Only cool guy pop culture references here."

Wade had, by this point, drained his cup and finished his steak, just sitting back in his chair and getting cozy.

"I'm not going to lie here. You look like you'd feel super comfortable in my lap." There's another laugh at that next line: "See I usually have the opposite effect on people."

[black_black_heart]

"That's because you hide in that mask of yours so much, people forget there's someone under it," Tannusen noted wryly, with a gesture at wherever Wade had put said mask. "Object permanence isn't humanity's strongest suit."

[sharpeinolds]

It was just resting next to the plate, of course. Wade's answer was quick and... probably expected:

"Well yeah that's the point, don't want anyone to get too attached to a walking shooting gallery duck. This is why you don't name your barn animals."

[black_black_heart]

"I don't know, it's not like you're going to die on them. I think the intent's so you don't get attached."

Oh no this chat has gotten too real BACK TO JOKES, STAT!

"But you're out of luck here; I'm by far the best boss you're going to find on this itty bitty little world," a wry, lopsided grin, "and I know I'm just irresistibly charming."