[ Video ]

[k2so]

[When the video starts only a white bushy tail is visible but it moves away after a scream of Pachirisu! is heard.

It's not all that clear what is Kay trying to do but he's in a kitchen surrounded with appliances, so it would be a good guess to say he's cooking. Or trying too. He's surrounded by a notable group of pets and pokemon that he's trying to keep away from a large bowl filled with...something. Could be mashed potatoes could be cement. He also seems to be giving the pokemon some cooking wisdom of his own brand.]

No, no, your food isn't ready yet. [Kay grabs the bowl Meiji was licking and waves a hand around, shooing away Sonico's cheetah as if it were an average housecat.

As he does so, three other pokemon get onto the kitchen counter. A floating Duosion puts a colander on his head as if it were some sort of helmet before laughing with delight. Kay pays them no mind, as he's busy stirring something in a frying pan and talking to his cat Fest, who is sat on top of Cassian's Corgi because of course she is.]

Splattering oil can be frightening so approach it at your pace as if you are confronting a dangerous animal or a particularly disgruntled retail employee. [The droid adds some more chopped onions to the dish and then an egg. A whole egg, eggshell and everything.]

The recipe says to add some saffron threads but I don't have any, so screw that. [Behind Kay, the sylveon curls into one of the woks and process to fall sleep there. ] They say drinking two glasses of wine a day helps to clean your brain, so I'm going to add it to the mix as the last touch.

[Kay does just that, dumping a glass of red wine onto the hot mess that is his dish. The pan immediately catches on fire.] Hm...perhaps I should have added white wine.

Comments

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[immortalrose]

[You see, not many know of Augustine's true weakness. Many believe the dhampir to be allergic to garlic and sunlight but his true weakness is anything cute. So, as expected, Augustine is happily watching this mundane cooking live video for the sake of catching a glimpse of all those adorable pets that Cassian and Kay adopted over the years.

He's plotting on getting himself a Sylveon the next time Pokemons appear in Genessia.]

...I want one. [He mutters as he watches Kay fend off his bowl of nonsense from the pets] I want them all.

[Augustine was just about to turn off the video until Kay decides to get the batshit idea of adding wine with this concoction of a dish along with an egg. A full damn egg with the eggshell and all.]

Cease and desist! Your culinary skills make me shudder, Kay.

[k2so]

[Both Kay and most of the pets turns to face the camera. The mudkip even licks the screen, so Augustine can enjoy the view of a huge tongue.]

Uh...oh that was on? I'm afraid the pets are not for sale.

[The Vanillite is dropping some snow on top of the fire to try to put it out. Kay us not sure if adding water is really wise but he gets his answer a second later. The fire gets worse and the Vanillite lets out a high pitched shriek.]

We only had a small setback...

[immortalrose]

[Aww, Mudkip! Augustine can't help but chuckle a little.]

They ought to be. Your little critters would fetch better coin than your cooking.

[He huffs a little since he really wants that Sylveon and the cheetah he spotted earlier.]

That's no small setback. Now hurry up and fetch the hose before you burn the house down.

[Video]

[bigbadrose]

Kay... who are you cooking for?

[k2so]

Oh hi Rose!

[Don't mind him try to put out the fire as he replies. The mudkip looks ready to interfere throwing water at it.]

The pets. But they don't seem to inclined to taste it.

[bigbadrose]

No kidding, huh?

Remember when we talked about microchips and eating? I'm guessin' this is something your file databanks don't have programmed for doin', yeah? No offense. [A hand up.] But you threw a lot in there that would be toxic for them. And I thought my Mom was lethal in the kitchen. [A grin to show she's just teasing!]

[Video]

[leekspins]

[Orihime stares. Not because she's horrified at the way Kay cooks, but because it's so completely fascinating AND ADORABLE. Should she tell him? Maybe she should.]

Actually alcohol kills brain cells! You can get the same benefits from grape juice without liver and brain damage. It's also not flammable!

[Some people just want to watch the kitchen burn. If it's a robot, it's okay.]

[k2so]

[Awww at least someone finds it enjoyable. Kay is ready to put the fire with a wet towel when Orihime gets his attention.]

I didn't know that! Thanks, it's a much better and cheaper option.

[leekspins]

Yes! It's great that you're willing to explore and try new ingredients!

--Oh, and baking soda will put out the fire. Make sure you don't use flour or baking powder. They'll look the same, but flour will definitely make the fire flare up. If it's just burning off the alcohol, though, it'll go out on its own. Just keep it away from anything flammable!

[om_nom_namur]

[This all seems legit to Namur.]

Didja put some fish in there? Even li'l'ns like anchovies an' sardines is full a good shit that helps yer eyesight an' intelligence.

[Says the near-sighted dumbass.]

/threadjack

[immortalrose]

NO.

[Namur, get the hell out of here with that anchovies shit---]

XD

[om_nom_namur]

What's yer prob- oh!

Blood's good too. Iron.

[Sage nod.]

[k2so]

You know I didn't think of it.

[ Kay has managed to put out the fire, more or less. Everything looks pretty charred but he's sure it's still edible. ]

It could help hide the taste of burned food and I do have some anchovies.

[om_nom_namur]

Toss 'em in! Shit can't get worse, right?

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[shelteringwings]

[Mobius is laying around somewhere else in the house, luckily with his own corgi and Pokemon hanging around him instead of joining the congregation around Kay. He looks at the video feed with mild concern.]

Ah... should I take over for you down there, Kay?

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[k2so]

[ Come join the fun, Mobius. ]

Oh no don't worry, every thing under control. [ There's a crash behind him and some hissing as well as the Pachirisu letting out an electric jolt but everything is F I N E. ]

video;

[shelteringwings]

[He's not sure he'd use the word "fun" in this situation.]

... are you sure about that? Do I at least need Drampa to round the others up?

[Not that he's trusting Kay alone in a kitchen right now, but especially not with all the pets around.]

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[captain_by_the_book]

[ It had been funny to watch the mayhem. Absolutely hilarious, in fact.

Except... he has already been volunteered for dinner at Augustine's and now he is starting to get Concerned. ]

Kay. [ His smile is more than a little plastic. ] That looks delicious. Who is that for?

[ Please not him. Please. If there is any higher power in the multiverse he's ready to start praying. ]

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[k2so]

[ The mayhem haven't stopped yet, don't be fooled Cassian. Thanks to Namur and Orihime's advice, Kay already added anchovies and baking soda to the disaster dish. ]

Cassian, darling! [ Kay sounds honestly cheerful, are you implying with that smile that his efforts aren't really appreciated? ] For the pets! it started as a Khoresht Fesenjan stew. [ And turned into a for of biological warfare. ]

They don't seem too interested in giving the dish a try.

[captain_by_the_book]

[ Oh no. No no no. His efforts are very much appreciated. Of course they are. You're a right proper Attleton housewife, Kay. Cassian is charmed. ]

That's too bad. Maybe they aren't hungry just yet. They did get into the berries stash in the fridge in the morning.

[ Poor pokemon. He's going to slip them some cupcakes or something to make up for their suffering. ]

Why don't you let me take care of dinner tonight, hm? I'll clean up the kitchen, too.

[video] here comes A Bad Influence

[black_black_heart]

[ Tannusen's settled in in front of his phone with actual popcorn, and only turns the video on on his end after the fireball. ]

Kay! You need a cooking show, this is great.

[video] Sure nothing bad could come out of this.

[k2so]

Do you really think so? Cassian is always cooking so I only did this to help.

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[gamerrep]

I thought I was a bad cook.

[By which she means she usually doesn't cook at all, but when she tries it's the microwave or when she actually really tries. It just doesn't end well. Even after nearly two years she has mostly lived off fast food and snacks.]

[k2so]

[ Kay looks a little offended. ]

It's my first time!

[gamerrep]

It could have probably been much worse, though. Something could have exploded.