genessia | 05 BRAINS ; VIDEO

HEY!

[ This video is definitely set up with Liv's device leaning against something in her living room. She can't be bothered to actually face it- she's clearly doing something off screen. It's entirely possible that she's playing some kind of gaming console. From the sounds in the background, she might be shooting zombies. For the irony. She glances over at the video for a second, then keeps playing as she talks. ]

First off, thanks to everyone who ambushed me at the Christmas party to ask how this was going, it's really nice to know that I can do a job and not be hounded about it any time I go anywhere by literally everyone I talk to. Now that all of the holidays I was supposed to be enjoying are through, I'm going to go ahead and actually answer.

Most of you are probably aware I work in the morgue at the hospital, but back home I worked in the city morgue for the Seattle PD Police Department. I love lively jobs and never getting to see the sun, what can I say? The test that we were doing was a forensic technique used to age murder victims or blood samples found at crime scenes when we don't have other possible clues. I got the idea when I ran out of other things to test on some of the newcomers after some other general tests that are often run on kidnap victims. It wasn't the first test I ran, but it was definitely the only one with actual visible results.

The test typically reveals information about the age range within about 9 years by looking at a byproduct of the T-cells in the immune system. Most of the non-humanoid samples I didn't have a standard to go by, go figure, so most of those tests were inconclusive. I'll have your participation awards sent to you via mail on the 6th Friday of July. I had our lab retest the actually useful samples multiple times and the results were fairly consistent. Most of the people who come here to Genessia are currently between the ages of 0 and 10 years of age.

There are a few different explanations for this, so hey- panic on hold, it could be the least terrible of options in which.. [ She has to think for a second. David came up with this theory while she was a little bit drunk and a little bit anxiety-ridden on top of depressed. Thanks brains. It's a good thing she found a much snider snack to help her report this. ] Some forms of teleportation to other worlds apparently involve cellular breakdown and I guess the cells could've been lost during that process? I'd have to test everyone again to find out if they were missing anything else considering how specific it would have to be to just be missing that. Great theory David, I'm sure all teleportation specifically leaves out tiny cells that hint at what age you are. Other options include that we're all clones of whoever we look like or someone made us up in entirety and none of our lives are real.

[ On second thought, this was probably a terrible brain to eat before making this announcement. She puts the controller down finally and gives the camera two thumbs up and the most sarcastic smile possible. ]

Happy New Year everyone!

[ And the video feed ends on her leaning over the edge of her couch to turn it off. ]