Video

[acheat]

Artemis.

Could you do me a massive favor?

[Don't even think about not answering this, Artie. He knows where you live]

I've heard tell of an elixir called "coffee" usually located in the bigger cities of Genessia. Do you suppose you could find a cup of this for me? I'll be sure to do a favor for you next~.

[Don't talk like that, Jarlaxle. And no, he won't make this post private because he doesn't even care.]

Oh! Has anyone managed to beat dear Artemis in combat yet? Tell me if you do! I want to have a conversation with you about a possible job offer. First one to best our dear Artemis in a sword fight gets top payment.

[JARLAXLE NO]

Comments

[Video]

[shy_mage]

C-Coffee...? I... I think that's just a d-drink...

[Even though he completely knew what it was, he was second guessing himself.]

Re: [Video]

[acheat]

Just a drink? The stories I hear of it suggest it's some life sustaining potion.

I don't intend on having it forever. Just a taste, perhaps.

[Video]

[shy_mage]

R-Really? I've never heard th-that!

[And he was completely falling for it. Surely these people telling these tales must know something he didn't.]

I-I'm sure I could find some.

Re: [Video]

[acheat]

[Hey, he just wants to try some coffee. He's just... enhancing the stories he's heard]

Well if you do, bring some for both of us! We can share it and see how true these stories are.

[Video]

[shy_mage]

O-Okay... I've never had much c-coffee... Hatter liked tea, and Th-Thistle liked fruit teas and j-juices and...

Well... Well, he had c-coffee, but I think it was more ch-chocolate than coffee...

[And he just went with whatever everyone else had.

He thought there might be some in Fayren, but the type of coffee there would likely be a lot different than the coffee in Genessia. Besides which, despite feeling at home in Fayren, something like coffee just didn't seem like the coffee that he knew of.]

I... I think maybe I've seen a place in G-Genessia. Do you want to go th... there?

Re: [Video]

[acheat]

I've had chocolate before. I don't think it is quite the same.

[Ugh but he doesn't wanna go all the way to Genessia. He wants someone else to get it fooooor hiiiiim]

Bracken my dear, I'm afraid I'm a bit stuck at home at the moment, things to do in Fayren. How about I meet you somewhere in town after you get coffee, and we'll share it then?

[black_black_heart]

Swords. What's the point of 'em with teeth?

Unless you mean a different kind of sword fight...

[acheat]

Artemis wouldn't appreciate the joke.

He's a skilled swordsman nevertheless, I'm just wondering if anyone can best him in combat.

[black_black_heart]

Oh well, his loss.

And I'm more of a brawler, myself.

[Sometimes as a twelve-foot long bengal tiger, but who's counting?]

[acheat]

Are you? Well all are welcome to me, as far as I'm concerned. Be it far from me to coax you however-

Oh forget I said anything.

How are you?

[black_black_heart]

[Tannusen's smile is slow, and lazy.]

That depends... far be it from you to coax me into what, exactly?

[acheat]

Well... You see, I'm in a bit of a situation.

I'm the head of a little order of operations. A thieves guild some might call it, though it goes somewhat beyond that. We're in desperate need of intelligent members, men and women who's skills surpass the ordinary. We're looking for people who are beyond the pale, someone extraordinary, someone who might find excitement in situations others may see as fearful, even dangerous.

[video]

[bitofafop]

[So he could pretend he didn't see this and get jumped the next time he's at the inn, or he could suck it up and answer. Such hard decisions.]

First. You do, in fact, possess two functional legs.

And second - are you so eager to see someone get rid of me already?

Re: [video]

[acheat]

I do, but how many men can say I'm in their debt?

And two, anyone that can best you in combat is someone I don't want to have to raise my sword against. Wouldn't you agree?

[bitofafop]

I'll admit, that does make it almost tempting.

[But it's Jarlaxle's lucky day, because he might be a little curious now too. Give him a while and don't say he never does anything for you.]

Fair enough. If anyone can best me, I suppose you'll be the first to know. And then I would have to retire, because it means that I'm finally getting old.

[acheat]

Artemis I could not tolerate you retiring, there is no one who could replace you.

[HE'S SERIOUS. DON'T RETIRE]

I'll reward you for the coffee, I promise.

[bitofafop]

[OKAY FINE BUT NO ONE ELSE CAN BE SECOND no take backsies]

I'm already going to find some for you, you don't have to try and flatter me. But the reward better be worth it.

Is there anything special I should know about it?

video;

[sarcaskick]

Firs, [ holds up a finger ] what does "top payment" consist of?

Second, [ theeeere's finger number two ] does it have to be a sword?

Re: video;

[acheat]

Top regular payment. We'll discuss the full implications of it later and privately, shall we?

He'd prefer it to be some short range weapon, Artemis is terribly finicky about dueling wizards.

video;

[sarcaskick]

So... for now, cash. You're basically putting out a nonlethal hit on the guy.

[ He doesn't say it disapprovingly. His tone's actually matter-of-fact, if anything.

He's... familiar with the concept, let's say. ]

Oh, that I can handle. A bit of a handicap, keeping it at close range, but nothing I'm not up for.

Re: video;

[acheat]

It's all for a very good reason, I can assure you.

[Pooooor Artemis]

He'll appreciate the effort you put into it.

video;

[sarcaskick]

Oh, I'm sure.

[ His tone is pleasant to the point of oversaturation - like he's just humoring this guy. ]

I haven't had a chance to kick an innocent stranger's ass in a while. I'll take it.

video;

[bloodheels]

I work in a coffee shop, but I also make it myself if you have a certain kind you'd like.

Re: video;

[acheat]

I'm looking for a type called 'espresso'. Would you happen to have that?

video;

[bloodheels]

We do actually. It's actually quite easy to put together also. I assume that is what you would like.