[ text ]

[black_black_heart]

how

does one stop their roommate

from standing in the kitchen

in the dark

at 3 am

eating cold ravioli straight from the can with his fingers

Comments

[black_black_heart]

I don't buy it, he does

in bulk

on sale

sometimes expired

[gastronomics]

Have the court label him mentally incapable of taking care of himself and put yourself in charge of his assets for his own good.

[black_black_heart]

I mean

he only thirty-one

so that should be easy enough

[gastronomics]

Anyone who eats that many canned raviolis is probably in need of it anyway.

[black_black_heart]

it's true

one time I caught him with a can in each hand

[gastronomics]

What a nightmare..

Who is this person? Perhaps I can convince them to only mark their tongue with something much tastier...

[black_black_heart]

his name is Trahearne

do you want his phone number

[And then he provides it without waiting for a response, whatever it is.]

[gastronomics]

I'm putting a reservation for two at Nakiba for you two. What's a good date? Any allergies? If I can't save his tastebuds, no one can.

[black_black_heart]

how about him and another friend of mine who can't bloody cook

dude just eats potatoes all the time

and that's awful, he's Irish

what a stereotype

[gastronomics]

I'll make it a reservation for three then. You should still come, they need a normal person to compare their tastes to and realize the error of their ways.

[black_black_heart]

but if I'm there they'll just spend the whole time yelling at me over the other's poor life choices

like

what am I even

[gastronomics]

Ryo and my food have brought hardened food critics to their knees in bliss before. Hopefully you'll get something out of it too.

[black_black_heart]

well I do like being brought to my knees

[gastronomics]

Most people do, even if it takes something bursting in their mouth until they submit to realize it~

[ With flavor. Bursting with flavor. ]

[black_black_heart]

I like the way you think

[gastronomics]

I am a genius, everyone should.

[black_black_heart]

it shows

[gastronomics]

So what kind of people are you and these two non-gourmets?

[black_black_heart]

you don't stay distracted for long, do you

[gastronomics]

Cooking is my life, it's hard to distract me from that.

[black_black_heart]

do you know anyone who can make a good steak and wants a job

so like, obviously not you of course

you're busy and already got a better gig

[gastronomics]

If I knew anyone good I would hire them myself. All the others I knew are gone, though.. something's coming up I'm sure you'll find someone!

[black_black_heart]

[Well, she had a point there.]

fair enough

man I hope so, it's not like the pay's even crap