[ text ]

[black_black_heart]

how

does one stop their roommate

from standing in the kitchen

in the dark

at 3 am

eating cold ravioli straight from the can with his fingers

Comments

[k2so]

Maybe if you get him a room with a huge skylight he will stay there instead of doing weird things in the kitchen.

[black_black_heart]

that's an idea

and we are on the top floor

do you know how to make a skylight?

I suppose just a hole would be bad

[k2so]

Alas not, but I am very good at punching holes through walls, ceilings can't be that different.

I'm sure there must be some good engineer or architect in the cities who could give you advice.

[black_black_heart]

hmm yes

you know, he does have a balcony attached to his room

maybe I should just lock him out there sometime

[k2so]

You could do that.

If you don't mind, I would like to suggest another solution, a very innovative one. mostly unheard of.

Wait for it...


...why don't you talk to him? Maybe there's a reason why he does that at night.

[black_black_heart]

shit man, you just blew my mind

[Snarky bot!]

[k2so]

[The snarkiest!]

I know, it's something most people never consider but statistics say it works 45% of the time.

[black_black_heart]

unfortunately we're in the 55%

or whatever percentage it is when they start doing the thing just to get you in trouble

[k2so]

Now that's an issue.

Oh well...the balcony it is.

[black_black_heart]

see, I knew you'd come around

[k2so]

Your arguments were pretty solid. [Kinda.] Still, give the skylight a try?

[black_black_heart]

I might just have to

or maybe a grow-light, like they use in weed farms

[k2so]

Good idea. That way he will know you care for his well being.

[black_black_heart]

what can I say, I'm a super caring guy

[k2so]

It really shows.

How did you two met? Or how come you decided to share a room? Because now I am curious.

aaah I didn't see this tag in my inbooox

[black_black_heart]

he's also fond of picking up stray cats

that's fine

[k2so]

There's nothing wrong with that. [/biased droid is biased.]

[black_black_heart]

of course not

but that's how we met

he caught me sleeping in tiger form under a tree and convinced me to come sleep on his couch instead

and now he torments me

with ravioli

[k2so]

Then, torment him back.

Eat broccoli in front of him.

Stablish dominance.

[black_black_heart]

I'm gonna try that

for science

[A little while passes.]

didn't work

he is, in fact, going to buy more since I seem to be such a fan of it

[k2so]

Well, there goes a plan.

On the bright side, he seems mindful of your eating habits.

[black_black_heart]

yeah that's what it is, mindfulness

[Trahearne is an asshole.]

[Which is just to say, he's finally giving as good as he gets. Tannu is low-key proud of the guy's slowly-emerging snarky side.]

[k2so]

One day I need to meet your room-mate, now I am curious.

[We are all assholes here, let's be honest. Pestering each other is how they bond.]

[black_black_heart]

easy enough to do, he owns a book shop by the name of 'tomes and thaumaturgy' in genessia city

and works part-time at the library

because he's a full-time nerd

[k2so]

So he works with outdated data storages. I'll have to visit the library more often.