genessia | [Video]

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Hey, so, someone familiar with... what'd the paper call 'em? Pokemon? I could use some advice. Those eggs that everyone got? Yeah, mine hatched... into this.

[He turns the camera around to show a Tepig sniffing at an old pizza box on a table across from his desk.]

Cute little thing, but he's already set me on fire three times, and I've got no idea what they eat so I've just been sharing pizza with him. He seems to like it.

Hell, I'm not even sure he's a he. I'd just... appreciate any advice y'all have before he torches my shop. I kinda like it not on fire.

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He must be hungry, so perhaps think about feeding him or something.

I could give you suggestions for what it could eat.

Suggestions on what he should eat is probably what I really need. He's been eating anything that's not nailed down.

[There's a bit of a scuffling noise off screen as Dante ducks off to the side, holding the Tepig under his arm when he returns, a pizza box with a bite taken out of it in his other hand.]

Like I said.

Well...Technically they can eat anything that you do, but I tend to keep to the healthy side of thing like fruits and vegetables. Berries especially, they seem to love berries.

Good to hear. I'll have to pick up some of those berries while not worrying about him getting into my left over pizza.

...because he's gotten into it. Despite my best efforts. Little guy can jump that's for sure.

He must either really love pizza or it's the only food you have and he's hungry. But I can't really say for sure in this case.

I think he just likes pizza. Good choice really. I've tried giving him other stuff but he keeps coming back to pizza.

Then I guess he loves pizza, but too much can be a bad thing, so please make sure he does eat something else every so often.

That may be a bit of a challenge, though I'll give it a shot. I mean, I basically survive on nothing but pizza. Well, and Strawberry Sundaes. He won't be getting any of those though.

[Dante does not share those.]

Wait?! You do? How?!

[She sounds so confused as to how someone actually manages to survive on nothing but that.]

[Have the most hesitant of shrugs.]

...I eat a lot of pizza?

I mean usually someone who just eats that won't live very long because it's bad for them. Which is why I am wondering why.

Yeah, well normal rules don't really apply to me. Found that one out the first time my brother shoved a claymore through my chest. Hell, I could probably eat anything and be fine.

[Have the dumbest attempt to look scary ever.]

I could probably even eat you~!

If you tried, I'd make sure to defend myself.

[Though pretty sure fire wouldn't really affect him if being stabbed didn't work. At least this was what she was thinking anyway.]

Though sounds like you've been through a lot.

Man, sarcasm seems to be a dying art these days.

You don't know the half of it. In my line of work, I go probably... five minutes before being stabbed, shot, impaled, or electrocuted. On a good day.

Oh... There was sarcasm?

[She just doesn't notice sometimes.]

Well you seem fine right, now. No stabbing yet.

[Dante is just going to roll his eyes and smirk.]

Give it time, the day is still young.

[Is that smoke coming from just behind Dante? That's definitely smoke.]

[Yukiko does notice the smoke and looks a little concerned.]

You have smoke coming from behind. Were you cooking something?

[Dante glances behind him and leans over off screen, swatting at something.]

C'mon man, do you know how hard it is to get jackets like this one? Don't go setting it on fire...

[A moment later, he returns to the frame, shaking a smoking hand while the Tepig is tucked under his other arm, looking quite pleased with itself. At least his jacket isn't on fire anymore...]

So I guess your pokemon set your jacket on fire.

[She was a tiny bit relieved at that one anyway. It could have been so much worse she thinks. Probably.]

Guess he is a little scamp that way.

[He sighs, setting the Tepig on his lap, idly scratching behind its ear as it looks very pleased with itself.]

He knows how to get what he wants at least. I just hope he doesn't make a habit of doing it.

I hope he doesn't either, I mean otherwise you'd have to keep buying jackets. Or getting them fixed.

I've been hearing more about them lately, but I never really interacted with them myself. [They seem borderline sentient and Blake is not sure how she feels about owning something like that.]

Weiss may know.

Good to know. I'll give her a call before too long.

[There's a pause as he changes the subject.]

How're you holding up?

Okay, all things considering. If it's not weird to be nostalgic for home even though this place is also starting to feel like home.

Good to hear. Remember, my door's always open if you need to talk.

A month ago I would've said that was odd, but, I know the feeling. Granted I've got my shop to make things feel more homey, but still.

If you pick him up and take a peek I'm sure you can figure out whether it's a girl or a boy pretty fast. [ Listen they can breed, they've got bits down there. ]

Edited 2017-03-28 03:06 (UTC)

[Cue the most sarcastic tone of voice ever.]

Gee, I hadn't thought of that. Excuse me while I get right on sticking my face into a fire pig's crotch. I'm sure it won't mind and won't set me on fire.

I'm pretty sure anyone would set you on fire if you shoved your face in there like a freak and they wouldn't be wrong to. Have you never met an animal before?

Edited 2017-04-05 01:30 (UTC)

Yeah, I'm not really an animal person, but I'm pretty sure that the dangly bits don't just hang out 24/7. At least they don't on this guy, and I don't really care that much to press the issue.

[ Don't yours Dante? She's pretty sure most mammals have a visible indication- at least the ones she's seen on the streets usually do. ]

If its dangly bits aren't hanging out, it's probably a girl.

Unless its one of the types where the dangly bits retract when not in use.

[Dante's seen a lot of freaking weird biology, okay?]

Don't they still have a lump? I've seen a lot of dogs in my life.

[ Dogs, rats with giant balls-- even if it wasn't "out" all the time, there were still obvious indicators. She lived on the streets for a long while, it's not like she's never been around animals. At least, normal ones. ]

I'm not really a dog person. Or an animal person really. The last dog I got to see up close had three heads and was trying to kill me with ice.

Any other 'animal' I get close to is also usually trying to kill me. And eat me. This little guy is a nice change of pace, but I've got literally zero experience with animals that aren't demonic in nature.

[Attacking the trainer right off the bat. Worst pokemon? Worst trainer? Or is it an Ash-Pikachu dynamic? The world may never know.]

Berries and..."poffins", whatever those are. An oddly universal victual for them.

As for the ah, conflagration, you might seek more productive outlets, such as other pokemon. It's especially potent on grass and ice types.

[That sounded less violent in his head.]

The hell's a poffin?

Yeah, I'm not really into dogfights, and he doesn't seem too interested in doing much more than eating and sleeping. It's the sneezes you have to watch.

A kind of gourmet food for the creatures, universally beloved.

Oh, I'm glad that's all it was! Not to, uh, play down immolation, of course.

Pigfights might do the trick. Have you tried? He might enjoy it. Wouldn't want to keep him a piglet forever, eh?

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