VIDEO

[sarcastass]

I have... an exceedingly important question.

For all of you.

[Yeah it's video alright, Genessia's number one shitty hermit, long hair all undone. Midge? Midge must be behind the camera, he's always somewhere.

The demon grabs at a lock of hair on the left side of his face, gesturing violently at it. The hair, in response, flashes a brilliant silver, before zipping into yellow shades, black polka dots vibrating energetically across it]

What's it doing? I see spots.

I know there are spots.

What color is it?

This is very, very important, I need to know who is messing with my hair. Is it that dog?

Tell him I'm going to kill him. I'm going to kill that dog. You're a heartless monster.

Don't ever mess with my hair.

EVER.

It's not a stupid color is it? I swear to god if it's stupid-

Comments

[sarcastass]

I know, how scandalous.

If you bring me a hat that you know I won't hate, I'll rescind the ban.

[black_black_heart]

Well then, I suppose I ought to go shopping.

[ VICTORY. ]

[sarcastass]

Put effort into it, real effort.

If it's intentionally stupid I'm going make you eat it.

[black_black_heart]

Shhhh, don't ruin the moment.

[sarcastass]

...

I mean your mouth is pretty accommodating, I'm sure it'll fit a hat.

[black_black_heart]

Wouldn't be the first thing you've put in there.

[sarcastass]

Are you getting me a hat or not?

[black_black_heart]

As soon as you stop chatting away at me!

[sarcastass]

[THIS FACE.

HAT.

GET.]

-> action / switching to prose

[black_black_heart]

Tannusen arrives at the subarchway a little while later, astride Jethro much like last time. This time, there's a box on the seat behind him, held down with bunjee cords.

"Szee~eeeel, come out and plaaaay~!"

[sarcastass]

And because the fallen seraph was nothing if not extra as fuck, the response was a brief CRACK, an explosion of sweet smelling smoke... And the demon himself, offending lock of hair slicked back.

It is, currently, a dingy yellow. And of course, Midge has come for the ride. Apparently as long as they were close to the fortress, the bug saw no reason to assume a more acceptable shape. That's one giant fucking beetle/Lightning bug mix perched on Szel's shoulder.

"Again, it better not be stupid."

[black_black_heart]

Tannusen puts down Jethro's kickstand and unslings from the bike, plucking the box out of its web of bunjees as he does so. "I mean, I could have gotten you a sombrero made out of steak and then it would be a win-win for me," the tiger teased, sashaying his way on up to the demonic duo.

Because Midge was there, Tannusen knew Szel could see somewhat, and popped the lid off the box, angling it for a look-see.

--Out of range of a grab-see.

[sarcastass]

"Are you really going to dangle that all the way over there?"

MUGH.

UGH.

He peered, or rather, Midge peered, the bug scuttling to his master's head and getting a good look.

"... A fedora?" And not a stupid, cheap, Hot Topic one either, mercifully.

[black_black_heart]

Don't make the joke, Tannusen. Don't do it. Don't. Don--

"Because you're such a nice guy!"

God damn it.

It is a very nice fedora, however. Handmade by one of the shops he gets his fancy suits at.

[sarcastass]

"You're a garbage person." He goes and snatches at it, because he's not going to tolerate a second longer of this stupid friendship is magic clown hair, he's dying inside.

"But at least it's not a sombrero made of meat."

[black_black_heart]

Tannusen dances away with the box! "Nah-uh! Not until you say you like it and I can come in!"

Look, it's the principle of the thing now.

[sarcastass]

"If I didn't like it, I wouldn't be trying to take it."

UGH. GOD.

CHRIST.

HIS LIFE IS SO HARD, A NON STOP TRAGEDY.

"Fine. Fine. It's a wonderful hat, the ban is lifted, give it to me."

[black_black_heart]

Aaaand Tannusen takes the hat out of the box with a flourish, and steps in close to reach up and set it on Szel's head himself!

Yes, he knows Szel will just re-do it in order to better hide his emotion-hair.

It's still a riduculously cute gesture, god damn it.

[sarcastass]

Midge made sure to get out of the way as the hat came down, comfortably settling himself around Szel's neck as it rested gently atop his head.

It was fucking adorable as fuck, and while Szel's face remained just as sour as usual, that one stupid lock of hair warmly shifted to a deep, over-saturated red.

He didn't even notice.

"Thank you, Tannusen."

[black_black_heart]

"Oh, now that is a very pretty shade of red!"

Don't worry, Tannusen's here to point it out.

[sarcastass]

"It's what."

Red meant angry right.

He knew he wasn't angry but red meant angry right.

Right?

He's going with that, he doesn't wanna ponder what the fuck else red could goddamn mean.

"Okay, fine, good, it's red. You've proven you passed kindergarten. Are you going to take advantage of my hospitality now or not?"

[black_black_heart]

"It's a different shade, though!" Aaaaand Tannusen actually attempted to take hold of the lock in question to examine it closer. "What's the rush?"

[sarcastass]

"I did not give you permission to touch my hair." WE DON'T DO THAT IN PUBLIC PEOPLE WILL THINK HE LIKES SOMEONE.

He goes to swat at Tannusen, Midge demurely bobbing along for the ride. Not helping.

"Why are you suddenly so interested in the color wheel?!" Oops back to bright red!

[black_black_heart]

"Oh, there it goes back to what I have to assume is 'crankypants red'," Tannusen laughed, thus swatted, and went back to Jethro to pop it off its kickstand and start pushing it forward. Yep, the bike-kirin's coming with. Again. Problem?

[sarcastass]

GOOD IT CAN STAY THERE. He slicked his hair back again, and set the hat down on it, snorting. There, better. Now he doesn't have to worry about whatever the hell his new EMOTIONS ANTENNA is broadcasting.

No, there's no issue with Jethro, except-

"If that thing starts rummaging through my house, I'm making it a kennel."