Video

[unbelled]

[The camera is on, recording an... interesting... scene.

For once from this feed, it's a quiet one. Mordecai has turned it on, and gently set it down, to face...

A Meowth.

Of whom is just sitting there on the table, pleased as punch to be there.

Mordecai has taken a seat across from it, still within shot of the camera.... and just stares.

Just steeples his hands in front of his face.

And stares. Meowth doesn't really seem to notice, nor care, about its new owner, just comfortably curling up into a ball on the table and appearing to doze off as the almost expressionless cat just.... fucking stares.

At length, words]

... What do I do?

[Hear that. Hear the faint, growing horror? He had no idea what he was signing up for when he took that ticket down there.

Babies. Apparently.

He signed up for babies]

Comments

[Action]

[tallstiffdrink]

[Viktor walks into the room. He saw the video and looks at the cat on the table, then Mordecai, then the Meowth, then Mordecai.]

You has child? You not tell me. Who is lucky voman?

Re: [Action]

[unbelled]

WHAT? NO!

[The yelling wakes Meowth who, with a disdainful look at the two of them, hops off the table to find a less whiny place to sleep]

Wai-

[Shit its in the other room now. Well, back to Viktor]

I didn't have a child! I took the ticket everyone was mailed into town! When you are offered a free item, you show up to collect it!

NO ONE TOLD ME IT WAS AN INFANT!

Re: [Action]

[tallstiffdrink]

[The reaction breaks the stoic expression and Viktor just starts to laugh.

And he laughs.

Hard.

And LOUD.]

Re: [Action]

[unbelled]

IT'S NOT FUNNY, THEY'RE GIVING AWAY BABIES IN THE MIDDLE OF TOWN!

Re: [Action]

[tallstiffdrink]

[Give Viktor a moment to stop laughing. Finally he stops and clears his throat.]

That is vhat orphanage do.

That vhy I put ticket under bed.

[ video ]

[black_black_heart]

[ Look, he realizes quite well what the issue is here. It makes total sense given what Mordecai (usually) looks like.

But he's an asshole, so he has to bat at it. ]

They did it to me too!

[ And the video on his end shows an alolan meowth climbing all over the couch in the rectory.

THE CHILDREN.

THEY'RE EVERYWHERE. ]

Re: [ video ]

[unbelled]

[A SCREECH and the screen is slammed down.

LOOK. HE WANTED HELP, NOT FOR YOU TO MAKE IT WORSE]

[ reaction ]

[black_black_heart]

[ With the feed thus cut, Tannusen just fucking dies laughing for a while.

YOU'RE WELCOME! ]

[captain_by_the_book]

You seem to be doing well. It looks happy enough for now.

[He had had his own freakout over a little girl coming out of his egg last year. Not gona blame anyone for freaking. ]

[unbelled]

I NEVER WANTED A CHILD!

[captain_by_the_book]

Cassian gives him an unimpressed look.

Neither did I when these eggs showed up last spring. At least you didn't have to use your ticket. The eggs just showed up in our homes and we couldn't get rid of them. Couldn't even cook them.

[unbelled]

They wouldn't take it back!

Video

[mother_of_monsters]

Oh, you have a kiddie!

So cute, what's their name?

Re: Video

[unbelled]

A MISTAKE.

Video

[mother_of_monsters]

Now, now, don't say that about your baby. They're going to think you don't love them.

I didn't even know you were expecting. Who's the father?

[Dray honestly believes this is a legit question, his species is hermaphrodites and he had more than a few kids himself.]

Re: Video

[unbelled]

[This face.

Forever.]

video

[ohthehughesmanity]

[A new dad? Have no fear! The best dad to ever dad has arrived!]

First thing you do is calm down. I know that it can be daunting having your first kid, but believe me, you're going to love them! You might be unsure now, but I guarantee that once you hold your child for the first time you'll get this magical feeling and only want to do what's best for them, and, so long as you do that, you can't go wrong! You might mess up a couple of times, but that's okay! [He flashes a thumbs up.] You go this!

But. [He's suddenly very serious.] The most important thing to do is make sure you document your little ball of sunshine's life. [There's a flourish and his face turns to one of pure adoration as a huge string of pictures falls from his wallet, each a picture of his baby girl.] They grow up so fast!

Re: video

[unbelled]

... I just... want to know what it eats.

[Cow milk? Does... does it need cow milk? It has a mouth full of teeth, it can eat real food right]

Re: video

[ohthehughesmanity]

[...What?

He lowers the wallet.]

Won't it just eat whatever you ate when you were a... [Is kitten the right word here? He's never spoken to an intelligent animal before so he has no idea what's considered PC.] ...when you were young? I mean, usually it's just the mother's breast milk in the beginning but I don't know what's normal for your species.

[Of humanoid cat. What even is this place?]

Re: video

[unbelled]

Sir, everyone in this home is male.

Where on earth are we going to get breast milk?

[ video ]

[ghostofthespire]

[ Cole's figured out how to use the phone thanks to the information left with it, but that doesn't mean he knows how to use it well. All the video shows on his end is the broad brim of his hat and the tinniest wisp of straw-blond hair below it. He speaks with a familiar cadence, though it sounds very out of place in his strange, almost breathless voice. ] The pitiable wretch -- however will it survive?

Re: [ video ]

[unbelled]

[Of course, Mordecai has no idea what's going on. Yet.]

I haven't a clue, because between Viktor and myself, I don't know if this child is going to make it past the week.

[ghostofthespire]

[ A more natural cadence, for a moment, the words seeming to just pour out of the stranger on the other end. ]

Little feet stomping so fast into the room, and she's climbing up onto the couch before I can even finish the page... how can something so little make so much noise?

[ A deep breath. ]

She drew... me?

[ Back to that more familiar, clipped cadence. ]

You drew this with a china marker--

[unbelled]

[You took this from my satchel, didn't you?

Rose, I told you-stay out of my things!

He wasn't stupid, Mordecai's brain, as cracked and off kilter as it was, had quite the knack for retaining memories. Of course, as soon as it was there, as soon as he realized he could complete the rest of the sentence, any burgeoning sense of nostalgia was shot to pieces]

... What are you doing?

Video

[hamusukethewise]

It is not the same species as you, that it is not.
It is a Pokémon. They are meant to be trained to battle each other.
They can relax in orbs
[ She takes a Pokeball from her cheek pouch]
like these.

Most Pokémon like to eat berries.

[ She shows her Togedemaru. It resembles her as much as Meowth resembles Mordecai.]

This little one hatched from an egg, when I first arrived, that he did.