[
You'd honestly have thought this guy would have vanished by now.
Apparently not, because here he is, in all his judgey glory, looking just as stupidly well groomed and on point as usual. Which means way too neat for someone with that much fur.
Rather speaks of someone with too much time or maybe a few unmentioned screws loose.]
I see we have newcomers.
I also see that several of you appear to have severe issues with information retention, listening skills and basic navigation.
Also, the correct usage of the invention called 'the phone'. You don't need to
yell in it. It doesn't work better when
you yell in it.[
Don't mind that little stumble into the realm of Zero Chill.]
Normally, I wouldn't feel it necessary to explain any of this to any of you, after all, the pamphlet stand is
right outside the bay cave.
TO YOUR LEFT.
FIVE FEET.[
Chill, Mord.]
But since this appears to be a semi-continuous method of introduction, apparently I'm going to have to make this small informational segment a regular activity.
Because it isn't as if we have a recording telling anyone where to go. That clearly doesn't exist in any form.
[
The cat straightens his tie, and sharply adjusts his pince nez.]
As stated, there is a pamphlet stand
to your left, outside the cave, five feet, three and three eighths inches away. In those pamphlets you will find the appropriate material for all the questions you could possibly have.
In order of importance, I will clear a few things up for those of you who slept through their basic reading classes:
You have free housing in the commons in Genessia city for a month, and enough red bills to buy food and amenities for that time.
Red bills are our currency. They are paper. Do not eat them, set them on fire, or complain that you like coins or shells or buttons or bottle caps better. I can assure you: No one cares.
Your amulet's color designates the town this... place thinks you'd fit best in. Feel free to ignore it. Don't lose it though, or else you've effectively trapped yourself in whatever city you are in, as the gates between cities will only work if you possess an amulet. I don't care if they look trashy. I don't care if you don't like it. No you cannot trade them in, no you cannot turn it into something else.
Yes you are stuck here. No you can't leave. Yes, you are free to try. It won't work, but you can try. Please refrain from complaining that you can't leave. We all know.
Yes there is crime. Of course there is crime. Yes you can be a police officer. No you cannot run about the cities hither and thither, conducting shenanigans and claiming you're a vigilante super hero. That is illegal and it makes you a criminal, as punching a man in the face for no adequately explained reason other than 'he looked shifty' is also illegal.
In order to get your apparently highly necessary dose of unwarranted, hyper masculine violence in, please consider signing up to be a bounty hunter. It does restrict your caveman-esque need to hit things with your fists and sharp sticks to a list of names in the paper, but I'm sure it will sate you.
Don't ask me to explain anything else. I'm not taking any more questions.