Hype(?) Train [Video]

[om_nom_namur]

[Blue, webbed hands hold up the pretty date auction advertisement distributed through the paper.]

Look at this shit. Seriously?

[The flier gets tossed to the side, in favor of letting the camera focus on Namur's face. His teeth aren't fully bared, but there's certainly a bit more of a snap in the way he says his words.]

Come through time an' space an' differnt universes or dimensions or whatever the hell shit we gone through an' y'all still wanna auction each other off like random shit y' find in some ol' dead bloke's attic? Someone please 'splain it t' me cuz they couldn't back in Balamb. Y'all get some kinda thrill sellin' yer pals? Make y' feel powerful or some shit? Oh, 's okay cuz 's for charity, yer gonna say. Who gives a shit? Yer sellin' people!

[He pounds his fist on the table next to his communicator, making it jump. By the time the feed stops fuzzing and focuses again, he's running his fingers through his hair, trying to calm himself down because he's getting more fired up than he meant. He takes a deep breath and blows it out slowly.]

A'ight, look. Anyone still watchin'. If y' sign up for this damned thing thinkin' 's gonna be fun or whatever an' y' wind up gettin' stuck with some asshole y' ain't okay with, but yer still gonna go through with it cuz charity or whatever- call me. I'll back y' up. Don't care if I never metcha 'fore. Need a 'mergency phone call oops gotta go, I'll make that call. Need a friend happens t' be close by jus' in case, tell me where an' when, I'll be there, catch me? Seriously.

[Namur gives a sloppy but well practiced salute. Anyone familiar with SeeD will recognize it instantly.]

Peace out, peeps.

Comments

[om_nom_namur]

Pretty sure my delicate eyes has seen worse'n whatever the hell you got, Fronds-for-Brains. Don't mean I'm in a hurry t' make 'em bleed 'gain. Need anythin' other'n a shop, lemme know.

[chicken_kun]

Actually I do have one question for ya - you ever been in that weird fetish shop that just opened in Fayren? I ain't squeamish about checking it out but I haven't had the time and I don't wanna waste it if it's a shitty place.

[he means Grell's and no, he has no idea what he's in for]

[om_nom_namur]

Fetish shop in Fay- dude what in the hell're y' talkin' 'bout? Grell's place?

[chicken_kun]

I think so. Yeah? I dunno the person who owns it but that sounds about right.

[om_nom_namur]

[Namur sighs, scrubbing his hand over his face. It's weird how complicated a shitty lingerie store is, but what the hell, right?]

Ain't been t' the one in Fayren. But if 's like the one she had in Cerealia that she 'parently don't 'member havin' even though they're named the 'zact same thing an' wound up with the 'zact same logo, then uh I guess y'd find a lotta whips an' corsets an' shit. Might turn their nose up atcha an' decide y' ain't refined 'nuff for their blow-up dolls an' cone shaped bras- with tassels.

[Allllll the eyerolling.]

[chicken_kun]

That's okay, tassels would hide the nipple rings anyway.

Meh, that's not hardcore enough. I need something really attention-getting. Might have to send my boys out on a hunt.

[om_nom_namur]

[If Namur's eyebrow could go any higher it's raise itself right off his face.]

Gonna send yer boys on a hunt for sex shit. For you.

[....]

Make sure y' give 'em accurately scaled pics, otherwise hell knows what yer gonna end up with?

[chicken_kun]

[CRACKS UP LAUGHING]

Damn right I'm gonna! If you can't do what the boss tells ya to do, you're in big trouble!

Told'ya I had this handled.

[om_nom_namur]

Guess if y' can't find a girl t' do the handlin' for y', doin' it yerself's the next best thing.

[He nods sagely.]

Knock yerself out, man.

[chicken_kun]

That's not what I'm talkin' about!

But if you're not showin' up to see it, then I'll have to give you a play by play later. Unless it ends up in the paper, heh!

[om_nom_namur]

[Now it's Namur's turn to crack up laughing.]

Be keepin' an eye on the headlines for y'! Sheheheheh!