[Smoker speaks up.... never, but he hears just about... everything.]

Let's see, Embodied fears in Attleton, for anyone stupid enough to need the jump scare. [Smoker almost had a heart attack seeing Akainu and just backed right through the gate. NOPE. He'd like to warn off Portgas, but he knows if he says "Don't go there, Akainu is there," it will 1) make Ace WANT to go 2) result in the town being destroyed 3) Raise very pertinent questions about why Smoker is afraid of his boss. =\ So he's just going to say nothing directly, and keep an eye on the comms. Like a stalker.] Nova turns you into monsters, Fayren gives you free costumes, and Everglade is Whole Cake Island without the Big Mam pirate family.

Which leaves monsters in Genessia.

[Turns his camera to show the chaos behind him.]

[You might wonder why he's relaxing drinking a beer and having food at five in the morning, but a man's gotta eat sometime.]

I guess that means now's a good time to advertise. [Whut.]

So I got this bike shop in Genessia, on Sycamore. Sycamore Cycles. Outrun zombies and [Another street view pan of monsters.] and whatever and go up the side of buildings if you're strong enough. Sand, water, blah blah... whatever.

I need a sales counter rep so I don't have to do this. [Facepalms. And yeah, no, that's it. That's all. No name, no pricing, almost no point. Good job Smoker.]

[Marco is surrounded in a field of candied pumpkin, sunflower, and sesame seeds.]

[And candied flowers.]

[And is apparently barely mobile.]

No more.... [Whimper!] It's so terrible, I know it'll all revert any second, but I can't eat anymore.

Or fly back home.

[Rolls over and grabs a flower.] Well maybe one more. [OM NOM NOM NOM.]

[GROANS LOUDLY.] WHY DID I DO THAT?!

You know how they say turkeys will eat until they explode?

Does anyone know what happens if a phoenix explodes? I mean the fire is kind of continuous, so probably nothing? Right?

[There's the sound of someone running. It's not night, so he's not being chased by monsters, he's just exercising and clearing his head. He stops, a little breathless and speaks aloud to himself.]

Oh hey, it's the twenty-fifth!

[There's a pause as he pulls out his phone to take a selfie, and there's a camera shutter noise as he does.]

There! Birthday picture!

[He sounds cheerful.]

[ There's a very perturbed superhero on-screen, arms folded over his chest with a scowl. ]

Hey, so here's a question for the cops, or guardians or whatever - do you assholes throw every superhero in jail after he saves the city from a tyrannical egomaniac, or just me? Seriously, what the hell? I'm one of the good guys, for crying out loud!

...

So I maybe punched the mayor. It was an accident! He was totally fine! Sometimes things get hairy in the pursuit of justice!

Also, have you seen his mustache? Gross.

[ A visible shudder, before he waves his hands dismissively, moving on now ]

Anyway, citizens, don't worry about a thing - from now on, this world is under the protection of...

[ He leaps back, hands on his hips, cape blowing in a breeze that shouldn't even exist because he's in a frozen yogurt store (he might have knocked over a table). ]

X-RAAAAAAAAAAAY AAAAAAAAAAND--

[ "Sir, your order is ready." ]

Whoops, gotta go!

[ Aaaaand that's where it ends. ]

Video leaving the Bay
[Maes Hughes has accepted the fact that this is the end. Some shapeshifting freak is pointing a gun to his chest disguised as his wife and he just can’t bring himself to harm them even though he knows it’s not her. So this is how it’s going to end, huh...

The next thing he knows, he’s in some weird… thing in some weird place and he really has no idea what’s going on. He figures this must be the afterlife (not at all what he pictured, really) until he watches the video - and boy wasn’t that a trip - and reads over the info that was provided in the Bay. It was all very troubling, really, but since never in his wildest dreams would he be able to come up with this kind of tech he has to assume this is actually real and he’s not dead.

Well, there’s some good news at least.

He fumbles around with the device for a few minutes and has an uncharacteristically serious face on when he finally figures out how to work it and get the video feed up on his way to Genessia City.]

My name is Lieutenant Colonel Hughes and I have just one question:

[He stares hard before he’s suddenly the picture of absolute adoration as he whips photographs seemingly out of thin air and holds them in front of his face.]

Have you seen my baby girl? Her name is Elicia, she’s three years old, and she’s just the cutest little girl on the planet! Look at her, isn’t she stunning? And she’s smart, too! Why just the other day…

[Either mute your devices or interrupt him, people. There’s no limit as to how long he can talk on this subject (or how many pictures he has).]

Action in Genessia City
[Hughes is very certain that the intro video did not mention a single thing about monsters. He’s going to be having words with these Schnees about this. But that’s for later. For now, he lodges a knife square in the face of a… whatever that thing is before he ducks for cover behind a car.]

What the hell is going on? First that… thing and now this? Just where the hell am I?

[He pokes his head out and sees that the coast is clear before he runs another burst down the street towards the Guardian Office. He figures he can get some answers there and maybe help out, but it looks like he’ll have to fight his way there. He’s decent enough in a war, but for this? He could probably use some help.]

[Anyone in the city of Genessia is well aware of when the monsters come out, and hopefully a good amount of said people were also following the curfew the Guardian of the city had set up.

Chara was not one of those people. As their device's audio clicks on right in the middle of, well it certainly sounds like a fight. And an angry sounding kid talking during it.]

Stupid adults, stupid humans. [A grunt and a wet sound, which those who know that sound is the sound of a knife in flesh. Zombie flesh. Which is followed by a growling that is getting closer to Chara.]

And you things! Hah, just like home you die and turn to dust. [Oh now things sound like they're going poorly, as the phone ends up falling out of their pocket which ends up switching it to video.]

( Not so nice description of melting faces and werewolf murder. )

[And of course if anyone else is out monster hunting they can always come across Chara at any point during the night.]