[Video]

[subparkour]

[ There's a very perturbed superhero on-screen, arms folded over his chest with a scowl. ]

Hey, so here's a question for the cops, or guardians or whatever - do you assholes throw every superhero in jail after he saves the city from a tyrannical egomaniac, or just me? Seriously, what the hell? I'm one of the good guys, for crying out loud!

...

So I maybe punched the mayor. It was an accident! He was totally fine! Sometimes things get hairy in the pursuit of justice!

Also, have you seen his mustache? Gross.

[ A visible shudder, before he waves his hands dismissively, moving on now ]

Anyway, citizens, don't worry about a thing - from now on, this world is under the protection of...

[ He leaps back, hands on his hips, cape blowing in a breeze that shouldn't even exist because he's in a frozen yogurt store (he might have knocked over a table). ]

X-RAAAAAAAAAAAY AAAAAAAAAAND--

[ "Sir, your order is ready." ]

Whoops, gotta go!

[ Aaaaand that's where it ends. ]

Comments

Anon-Video

[rando_dork]

I get the whole misunderstood hero thing. Cops chase me all the time where I'm from. Sounds like you just need to get get good and not get caught.

Video

[subparkour]

This was never a problem back home! We fought the mayor there once and ended up being given the key to the city! By him! The mayor!

Maybe this place just needs to learn how awesome superheroes are.

Anon-Video

[rando_dork]

Yeah, see. I wish my luck was like that. The mayor ordered a manhunt for me back in my world. Everyone I've run into here has been pretty cool with my brand of heroics so far.

It's like we just ran into backwards luck after showing up here.

[Video] 1/2

[aurabble]

[He's just...staring at X-ray for a full five minutes in awe. Wow. He had his doubts before, but he's the real deal! This must be what it feels like to be in a presence of a true hero.]

[Video]

[aurabble]

[Five minutes later, he's clearing his throat.] Sorry, if I had known they put you in jail I would have broken you out.

I can still go get justice for you.

Re: [Video]

[subparkour]

Hey, no sweat man, you're not the one who put me there.

...

Who are you?

voice;

[gamerrep]

I guess punching the mayor would be classed as physical assault, so maybe that was it.

[She figured if there was any reason, that would probably be the top one.]

But you're a superhero, really?

voice;

[subparkour]

It was an accident in the pursuit of justice. We got the bad guy, isn't that what matters?

[ no ]

But yeah, I'm the real deal, one hundred percent.

voice;

[gamerrep]

It is, but it's a little odd for superheroes to make a tiny mistake like that. Major mistakes that go into the villain's favor, but not usually something like that.

[Way too many video games.]

video;

[hopeschild]

You punched a mayor? What... Did they exactly do?

[He said it was an accident, but usually there is some reason why they were trying to punch in the first place.]

video;

[subparkour]

Well I was trying to free him from the cage he was locked in by a megalomaniac, but I got... distracted. By the megalomaniac. And then the mayor started screeching about something and I didn't know it was him and I threw a panic-punch in his general direction...

Look, what matters is we got the baddie and freed the mayor, a black eye isn't gonna kill him!

video;

[hopeschild]

Did you at least apologize for it though?

[He figured that was the best idea at least.]

Because you really didn't mean it so it would be the best idea.

video;

[orlokbutterfly]

... wait, you punched Jacques?

I owe you a drink. Or a high five. Or five drinks. Either one.

Video;

[subparkour]

So I'm not the only one who thinks he's a huge douchebag?

Video;

[orlokbutterfly]

Oh hell no. Herr Schnurrbart there decided to make an enemy out of me day one for me calling him out on his bullshit.

Hell, I'm almost disappointed that you beat me to decking that asshat. But it's about time someone did.

[Video]

[leekspins]

[Orihime's face jogs up and down with a little bit of shaky cam action. Some big cat dragon monster is loping heavily behind her. She's slightly breathless, but that's some serious amazement lighting up her countenance.]

Wow! You're a real superh--?!

[She gets tackled by something that slams into her side and she drops the comm, abruptly ending the feed.]

[See, Orihime? That's why you don't use the phone when you're fighting monsters!]

[Video]

[subparkour]

... So, hey, uh. Hope you're not dead now, or whatever.

[Video] - Several Hours Later

[leekspins]

[When she replies, she's indoors in some sort of lobby or waiting room. The chair next to her has a bunch of vending machine food piled onto it, and the table on her other side has an empty cookie wrapper. Judging by the crumbs on her face, that cookie has been voraciously consumed.]

I'm okay! I was just a little careless and tripped.

[She's scratched up, but nothing serious. And she's only got the scratches because she's been too busy healing other people's much more serious injuries.]

How was the frozen yogurt?

Video

[chocobosnap]

Wow, you're a superhero?

[Please excuse him, he's kind of a dork.]

What kind of power do you have? Can you fly?

Video

[subparkour]

Better believe it! I've got all sorts of powers!

[ No he doesn't ]

Super strength!

[ no ]

Super agility!

[ no ]

X-ray vision and laser eyes!

[ technically yes, but those are only because of the glasses ]

And a total mastery of kung-fu!

[ back to no ]

Video

[chocobosnap]

Whoa that's amazing! Just like in a comic book!

[Prompto is super impressed.]

Sorry they thought you were a bad guy!

video;

[unhappy]

Hey, there's something on your face.

video;

[subparkour]

What, really? Where? What is it?

[ Video ]

[pianola]

...

[ Have a flat, blank, perhaps even unimpressed look ]

What.

[ Video ]

[subparkour]

What?

[ clearly not picking up on any cues, here ]