genessia | 5th Aura

I'll talk to her. And I'll let you know as soon as I know what kind.

OK.

How's Frost?

He's ok.

[He's probably stressed and missing Weiss. But overall he's okay.]

Snow and him don't fight. You can see him whenever you think you want. Or you can wait if you need to.

I'll try soon.

I'm working on getting out of the house and clearing my head and I'll..

I'm going to try to go home again soon.

Okay, Weiss.

I probably can't, but. Let me know if I can do anything. When you try or whenever.

Where are you staying? Are you with anyone?

Amagi Inn. No.

I've been staying at my old house.
Well, Sun and my old house?
The only one who remembers it besides us is Yang but she never really paid for it so it's ours. That's how he knew where I was in the first place. We never sold it.

It looks like we're in the same city at least.

You and Sun had more than one house?

It's a big city. I'm kind of glad you're the only ones who know.

Sun and Team RWBY lived across from each other in an apartment at first. But there were enough of us we got a house.
We cycled through a few.. memory-versions of team RWBY except for me, Neptune, even Nora. Sun used to stay in the same room as Blake. She doesn't remember, but he does. I think that's part of why he left the estate too. Having that kind of relationship and not being remembered... that's been one of my biggest fears about Zuko ever coming back, but Sun has to live it.
But when I became Guardian, we moved to Nova City so I could be closer to work and we could have a bigger place... right in time for a load of people from our world to reappear, no one the wiser about the old house. Sun and I never got around to selling it, so it's still ours...
And now I can't seem to talk myself into wanting to go to our current home so I don't know what to do.

I'm going for a jog later. I already saw Blake. If you're okay with it.. I'm trying to work my way up to seeing everyone. Can I come by?

Edited 2016-07-17 06:54 (UTC)

I felt bad for Sun when Blake left...that's messed up, that we keep forgetting. But maybe you should keep the house. I'm not saying stay there forever, I don't know either, but...having a place like that might be a good idea.

Yeah. You can see me. I ran into Blake too.

It's a nice safety net.

Do you need anything? Are you going to be there all day?

Yeah.

No. Thanks. I might be out later. If I can, I don't know yet, but not for a while

Stay for at least an hour.
It might take me a little while to do this, but I'll be there.

I'll stay Weiss.

[And then he texts her the room number. He doesn't want to go out and he isn't about to act impatient about her struggling.]

[ Weiss manages to get there in about 20 minutes, but takes a good 30 to convince herself to knock on the door. She doesn't quite look herself, and she's trying not to. She's trying to make herself feel different because it feels worse when she tries to pretend she's the same person. So she's trying something slightly different. Her comfort zone isn't comfortable anymore, she had to find a way out of it. Shade changes and letting her hair be all the way down, at least for now, are a way she can try. After those 30 minutes, she manages to knock, though Jaune might've heard her outside before that and is welcome to open the door to her pacing if he hears her before she knocks. ]

[It's Frost and Snow that alert him to Weiss' presence before he even notices. He nearly trips over a few cans--the floor is littered with them--and he lets his hand hover right above the doorknob. He just stands there for maybe about ten minutes while Snow whimpers at his feet. He isn't sure if he wants to open the door, or if he's ready to see her. The fact that he might never be, and he doesn't want to keep Frost from seeing her or vice versa, is what convince him to open the door as soon as she starts to knock.

The door remains open and the only ones to react are the two dogs who probably come bounding at her. Jaune just stands there and stares, taking in her appearance and trying to not let it bring him back to that night, but he can't. He remembers hearing her tears and how lifeless she looked, being drugged and he's too hot and he has to back away, he's dizzy and the walls keep fading in and out.

He falls back on the bed and buries his head in his knees, a few tears still spilling as he tries not to break down in front of her. His hoodie isn't the same fabric, something lighter and it's ridiculously hot in this weather but it protects his skin without being as confining as his armor. The room is different colors and he can hear one of the dogs barking. It's an anxious kind of bark. The change in color scheme and hairstyle help a little bit. Even if he can guess at the reasons for it. Finally, he opens his mouth to talk, but his throat tightens as he struggles to find the words. What can he say in this situation? For once, he doesn't let his mouth run when he's around Weiss.]

Come in. [It was just...something he could say.]

[ Weiss almost jumps with how fast the door opens, but she knew that he had probably been standing right there. Frost and Snow weren't exactly quiet, but Weiss understood. It was the same reason that instead of focusing on Jaune when he opens the door and starts backing up, she doesn't pursue him yet and focuses on Snow and Frost. Weiss stays in the doorway, kneeling down to pet the dogs in silence, waiting for Jaune to break it first. He's the one who needs to break it so he's got some control in this scenario. Weiss can wait, even if she wants so badly to be the one to do it, but she's sure that if she does Jaune will break.

So she waits, petting the dogs and whispering a quiet apology to Frost for leaving him for so long, along with a few other quiet words that aren't really saying anything so much as just saying something. When Jaune finally says to come in, she does, closing the door behind her and carefully stepping over some cans. Part of her wants to tell him to go take a shower so she can clean up, but that can wait. Weiss goes over and cleans off the hotel chair then sits down, picking Frost up off the floor to hold in her lap as she does. She doesn't quite look at Jaune for another few seconds, btu when she does, at the very least she doesn't look so scared. She looks tired, and seeing Jaune sitting there seems to make her tense more than a little. Last time she saw Jaune was when the real torture had begun. It was little wonder that she was tense, the last time she saw him had been the beginning of what Battler had wanted to show her.

She wasn't going to freak out like she had with Blake. She had this. This was intentional, this was under her control. She could do this. Weiss's voice came out in a whisper, gentle and calm and slower than the seconds that passed, despite that she was holding her breath as she counted. ]

Twenty, nineteen, eighteen, seventeen, sixteen, fifteen, fourteen, thirteen, twelve, eleven, ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, zero.

[ And at the end she was able to take a deep, deep breath and slowly exhaled. It didn't always work, but reminding herself that she could still breathe at the end of that countdown and focusing on the numbers usually kept her from focusing on flashbacks. At least, it had started to once she'd practiced it. She knew Jaune would probably think it was weird, but it was better than nothing. ]

[He isn't really shocked by how tense she looks. Battler had made it so the people who should have been able to support eachother were too broken to, but Weiss had been the one who it had been most for. She didn't get a choice about whose murder she witnessed. It's so messed up, and there isn't anything he can do about it. Looking back at her, he still looks like he wants to cry. It's the first emotion he's really displayed other than when he snapped at Blake. He tears his gaze away, trying to focus on something else. Snow is jealous and wants attention too, so he pets him, both to distract himself and to placate him. He slows down when Weiss stares counting. He has no idea what she's doing, but hearing her voice and seeing that she's able to talk, even if it's only a whisper, helps distance himself a little from the memories. Weiss is breathing, she's in control of what she's doing. Whatever she's doing is kind of weird, but also peaceful. It clashes with how tense she is.

At least he doesn't look like he's going to break down any second when he looks at her anymore. When he speaks, it's quiet, as if he's afraid to ruin the calm, as fragile as it is. It's pretty rare for things to be calm at all now. Snow jumps on the bed and he continues to pet him.]

It's-- I... Thanks for coming.

Thanks for letting me. You didn't have to.

[ Which meant he was at least willing to consider trying. Weiss had almost considered just disappearing and living some quiet life on the outskirts of Everglade or some other place no one would look for her. There was so much anger and hatred and pain that it felt like she was drowning and honestly? It was still tempting. But Sun told her she didn't have to be alone. Even if it seemed easier, safer. If he hadn't come over and made sure that she didn't close herself off, she probably would have.

What had happened with Blake.. she didn't want to ruin things for Jaune again. She'd selfishly made it about her, thinking she could rely on Blake when Blake was just as broken as she was in a different way. It hadn't gone well. It hadn't fixed anything, it might've made it worse. It made her feel worse- Blake had told her that the way she was feeling wasn't valid, just like Weiss had practically told her she was lucky that she couldn't feel what Weiss could. They were both very, very wrong. She didn't know if she'd be able to apologize to Blake or come back from their argument.

She can find some other way to deal with her feelings. If the friend she trusted as someone who she could talk about things with wasn't able to deal with her feelings because of what she went through, Jaune wouldn't be able to either. This.. she just needed to make sure that he knew he had support. Shut up and keep to the person who had offered to be there for her. ]

Do you want to ask anything?

I wanted to.

[He doesn't know if he did, or why he chose to tell her where he was. But part of him probably did want to see Weiss, moving and breathing and not like she had been. He had been so stupid. While Weiss was someone who could take care of herself...except when she couldn't, he had still hoped to get stronger, impress her, maybe even fight by her side. Like a knight.

He had been naive. And Weiss, him and too many others had gotten hurt. Had been forced to lose part of themselves if they wanted to come back to life. No matter what Weiss, or anyone else said, he wouldn't stop sharing some of the blame for that. But he knew not to talk about it with Weiss, seeing as it would either upset her, hurt her, or both--him, too. Blake had been right about one thing: they had been hurt more than enough. It wasn't even his intention to bring it up with Blake, he had just sort of snapped, reacted to her anger with his own. It was the only excuse he needed.

He looked down and didn't immediately answer. He was putting some thought into his questions, for once.]

Do you...can I do anything?

[ That was a difficult question to answer. If Weiss knew what either of them could do to make anything better, she would've done it a while ago. He'd agreed to help with her deputy project already, even if he was having his own difficulties. That was the most Weiss felt like she could ask from him, but at the same time she understood why he asked. He cared about her. Even if it could get awkward between them or he'd tried way too hard in the past, he did care about her. Weiss thought of him as a friend now, someone she would fight beside and fight for, and now they were close in a way that most people never would be. She'd watched him die, it was a bond that she hadn't wanted or expected, but it existed. Which is why she knew that telling him no, there was nothing he could do, would just make him feel more helpless. THat's how she felt, after all.

A few moments of silence passed while Weiss tried to think of something to say, and her mind came back to something that Blake had said. Most of what they'd said- a lot of it was just from a place of pain and not something either of them should take personally, but Blake had been right about one thing. ]

I don't want to go home. I don't think you do either. Blake said we should move. I think she's right.

[ It wasn't exactly something Jaune could specifically do, but he had to agree. She wasn't going to rip him away from that house if he had attachment to it. They'd lost enough, but if he wanted it too.. with Ruby gone, that would put all three of them in agreement. Everyone else who was a victim didn't live with them, but they could commit to this. ]

I haven't talked to anyone else about it yet, but if you want to do something, you can tell me what you want to do about that.

[He still felt helpless, but he could guess why Weiss had asked him to be a deputy. Everything had changed and now he didn't think he could ever fully trust anyone other than a handful of people. It was easier to trust an incompetent idiot than a complete stranger. He didn't know if he should feel grateful. It was more like it was something to focus on, so he wouldn't lose himself, similar to looking after Snow and Frost.

Returning to that house felt wrong. The room he shared didn't feel like it was his anymore. It reflected what he had lost, not who he was now. He didn't feel safe there anymore. He was pretty sure Weiss probably felt even less so. So it wasn't as difficult a decision to make as it probably should have been.]

Do you have anywhere in mind?

[He could agree and follow, but taking any sort of lead left him feeling stuck. It was selfish, and it wasn't fair to Weiss, but it sounded like she had already made a decision. Supporting her and helping out? That was something he thought he could try to do.]

Okay.

Probably still Nova City. You, Nora, and I are still working in Nova City. Yang too, I think, for some club.

[ She feels bad that Sun and Blake still have to commute but.. ]

Other than that, I don't know. Anywhere. Somewhere smaller. I can use the extra rent money to help pay for deputies.

[ If there was anywhere she'd feel safe ever again, it'd be hidden away somewhere surrounded by people she knew could help them. ]

I want to plant trees around it. Or maybe somewhere near the water. I don't think there's anywhere really quiet in Nova City.

We don't need that much space anymore. That sounds...better. [Good wasn't the right word. But somewhere more secluded and blocked off would be quieter.]

I think since it's Nova City we should...install some form of security too. Maybe specific to our sc--phones, or something else.

Re: private;

private;

Re: private;

private;

Re: private;

private;

private;

private;

private;

private;

private;

private;

private;

private;

private;

action!

action!

action!

action!

action!

action!

Re: action!

action!

action!

action!