Here's a fun math question!

Bade Bilson suffers from low attention span and periods of severely reduced inhibition.

Bade Bilson also has a very lucrative job at a high paying gigaroo making tons and tons of money for essentially motor boating women and goosing men at a night club.

If Bade Bilson's paycheck is breaking four figures this week, how much of town can Bade Bilson afford to cover in toilet paper before Bade Bilson runs out of money or is caught by resident cranky Fun Police, Sourpuss McNotCool?

Send your answers to P.O Box 404 at Teepee Town, Genessia.

[Groggy was the least of Leonard's problems, following closely after 'Where the hell am I?'. Oh, sure, he'd sat and listened to the hologram, and it would be his damn luck if that was all true. He'd still prefer to hear it from a person.

Yanking someone off a spaceship in the middle of space wasn't as much of an impossibility as it seemed before Jim'd beamed onto the Enterprise mid-warp with Scotty.

He didn't mind being planet-side, a good old fashioned atmosphere was always well and good by him. What was pissing him off more was the fact that he'd come down with the clothes on his back, his communicator, and nothing much else. The damn communicator didn't even work, or at least it wasn't picking up anything.

After about an hour he'd stopped waiting by the bay, taken his welcome package and headed off to what the map had said was a bar a few blocks away. Jack's - or something like that.

One drink wasn't going to get him drunk and if he was really the only one that got abducted here they'd be looking for him.

Leonard McCoy is nursing his second glass of bourbon and frowning over the paperwork he'd taken to reading when he finally looks at the other communicator they gave him. Well, he figured, why the hell not? He's scowling into the device once he finally turns it on.]

Doctor Leonard McCoy, Starfleet Medical Officer here, and I've got just one good question for whoever happens to be on this damn thing; What the hell is really going on here?

[He tilts the device pointedly away and takes another sip of his drink before returning to its view. Then, as almost an afterthought he adds;]

Aside from what that hologram had to say.

[Yukiko didn't look well. She didn't look well at all. Face mask placed firmly over her face she was coughing slightly. Thankfully she was in a room by herself for the moment.]

Sorry if I look a little sickly... It's because I am and it's why I actually am making this announcement in asking for help for once. Because I am sick currently I don't want to risk it spreading and so I am unable to do simple things like food shopping.

[She soon sneezed and behind her appeared to be flames appearing behind her. That is probably not the best sign in a small building like that.]

So I was just asking if anyone would be willing to do that for me for the meantime? I prefer someone who doesn't have any abilities so no way they could get ill. [She soon sneezed again and once against there was a flame, this time it managed to hit something flammable, but Yukiko has yet to even notice.]

I would appreciate it very much, thank you. [With a bow she switches off and literally a couple minutes later a text appears.]

Can someone please come help me deal with a fire? It's spreading quickly.

[Another day, another adventure. While Spock isn’t thrilled to find that he’s the target this go around, it’s certainly not surprising; statistically, with how things go on the Enterprise, he was overdue for something akin to this to happen.

He watches the video dutifully and thoroughly reads through all of the provided paper pamphlets (arguably the most alarming thing about this planet), frowning all the while, before he broadcasts a video on the primitive device while he begins to leave the Bay.]

Greetings, I am Commander Spock of the U.S.S. Enterprise. If I have been taken, then I believe that there must be at least one other member of the Enterprise here, a Captain James Kirk [because Kirk’s luck has always been worse that way]. If you have any information on the whereabouts of my captain, please let me know.

I am also interested in learning more about the technology available to us [he hopes it gets better than a god damn smart phone] and what it is that is preventing us from simply contacting our ships and getting transported back. As the Enterprise’s science officer I believe that I may be able to offer some assistance on the matter.

[The situation was not exactly unusual - he had never been kidnapped in this particular manner before, but, well, he couldn't say it was the first time he'd been taken or held against his will, and waking up in a big, damp room with a gift box was a lot nicer than being handcuffed to a wall or on the run from psychotic aliens. Of course, in his admittedly limited experience, it tended to mean that worse things were coming, but he'd judge that on a case-by-case.

[At any rate, once he's out of the egg-shaped container he arrived in, Jim takes a quick look around before heading for the exit, stopping to listen to the hologram on the way. He's a little taken aback by the combination of hologram technology and regular old paper, given that he's from a time and place where the latter is hardly ever used due to the development and advancement of the former, but he takes it in stride.

[Once the hologram is over and he's had a chance to glance over the things in the box and, betting on a need for his hands, pocket the currency, objects, and folded-up pamphlet, he grabs one of the maps by the hologram and walks out onto a street that doesn't look like it would be particularly out of place in any of the larger cities of Earth. The sun is shining - something that his eyes take a minute to adjust to - and the sky looks clear, and there aren't many other people on the street. With no visual cues to his location further than what the hologram and the map tell him, Jim figures it might be a good time to try the communicator. After all, if he was here... what were the chances they'd only kidnap one person from his ship?

[Powering on the device, it only takes him a few moments to work out the features and get a video message started. Once he has it in hand, he takes a deep breath, and begins.]

This is James T Kirk, captain of the USS Enterprise. I just woke up here, and I was hoping someone might have seen my crew, or have some information about this place - outside of what the hologram already told me.

[He's really banking on the idea that he isn't alone in this. It's been a long time since he's had to work alone, and it's not his favorite way to operate.]

Where: Attleton or Genessia City. At any park or on the way to/from any park.
What: Drake's out walking his pokemons and letting his little flock of messenger birds have fun. Info on them on his profile! (And just for this scene, his Mudsdale isn't one yet and is still a Mudbray! Right on the verge of evolving. Wanna do some cute donkey stuff on camera before BIG HUGE HORSE happens.)
Note: Amberdrake is an Empath. Unless I'm told otherwise, I'm going to assume he can feel your characters' emotions just like he feels everyone and everything else's. (And even without the supernatural ability, he's trained in reading body language and such, as well.)

- - - - -

It's a pretty pleasant day. Amberdrake's found himself with one of those rare days off when no one's scheduled to come to his office, whether placeholder or 'real' person. May as well go outside and walk his assorted critters around, right? Or fly, in most cases...

Or... drape. Jati the dratini is content, it seems, to just drape himself around Drake's shoulders like a boa constrictor, if with a great deal less danger involved in having him around the kestra'chern's neck. Somehow, the big blue and white snake creature doesn't look too ridiculous while perched amid all of the Healer's usual, colorful finery. The equally colorful feathers and single bell hanging off his head fins doesn't hurt, and the dratini bobs his head once in a while to make the tiny bell jingle.

Drabengro, the ocean-patterned vivillon, flutters high overhead, a huge butterfly among the little flock of tiny, colorful messenger birds.

And finally, there's Jel'enedra, the mudbray, galloping ahead of Drake and then veering around to gallop back again as they walk along the sidewalk, or clambering in and out of any mud she can find in the parks. Such a mess! Cute, though. Tiny, messy donkey.

The kestra'chern's brought some notebooks with him, of course, and can be found settled on a bench somewhere when he's not in route to or from a location. What's he doing with the notebooks? Well, anatomical diagrams of his present company, of course. With far too much precision, like he's actually seen the insides of his pokemon, their bone structures and nervous systems. The curious way his vivillon produces that sleeping pollen that he's taken to using in a few of his medicines for some clients...

Who: Garrus, Ted & Cad Bane
What: Bounty hunting - Think Tank/Curtix
Where: Nova City
When: Soon after the newspaper is out

( Hunting a bounty )

[Look, he just wanted to contact another Autobot, okay? Why was this too much to ask? As it's turned out, his attempt to utilize his comm system has instead activated the phone because his hands are too big for the device, so everyone in town gets-]

Can anyone slagging hear me or am I talking to myself?

Optimus, can you read me, preferably sometime today!

[As for Ratchet himself? I don't see any twenty foot tall robots here. Just a perfectly normal parked ambulance outside the bay cave.

Totally, completely normal, nothing weird here!]

 [A bulky figure is seen with glowing blue armor and dark brown hair with a chainsaw/ large gun upon his back as he bends down to observe the holographic woman.]

"Let me get this straight, I'm no longer fighting Berserkers, Locusts and nasty creatures and now I'm here?

"Get me a damn ship out of this place."

[The feed clicks on.

... Honestly? Nothing strange here. This man, other than being attractive, seems normal. Other than the considerable lack of panic, of course.

Hard to imagine it, but he looks... warmly content. Satisfied perhaps.]

Well can't say this is the address I gave the cabbie but hey, I like adventures.

I'm gonna skip the newbie song and dance for a moment; anyone know where I can get something to eat? I'll get all worked up and loud later, can't panic on an empty stomach.

In the mood for fish, I'll make it worth the trip if someone shows up to show me around.