[Video]

[k2so]

[Hello, ladies and gents, it's your resident salty robot ready to make a serious announcement.]

Regardless of what some people around here might wonder -or even wish about- I do not have a vibrate function. [Okay, so, ' serious announcement' might be an overstatement. Gale, Cassian, you are both to blame for this.] I am, however, liquid-proof.

That will be all. [The feed turns off, only to be turned on a second later.] Actually, I forgot one thing. Please refrain yourselves from licking my boyfriend, no matter how tasty he might look.

Thanks!

Comments

[Video]

[tiniestnihilist]

..Okay? Wait. Wait wait wait. The guy who won't stab the cannibals...is your boyfriend?

[Video]

[k2so]

We have cannibals here?

And that depends who you are talking about. My boyfriend is more prone to shooting people than go stabby against them.

[captain_by_the_book]

Kay!

[It was supposed to be a bellow of righteous fury. It is more of a mortified squawk. ]

[k2so]

Yes?

[Kay is far less amused and much more snippy than it might look like at first glance, Cassian, don't be fooled. Proceed with caution.]

Is there anything I should have added to the post? Or is that only YOU can talk about, how did you call it? Ah. My 'special features'.

[ABORT MISSION, CASSIAN, ABORT MISSION.]

[reachnotflexibility]

[ There are just so many questions Garrus doesn't even know where to start. He opens his mouth to start a few times before he finally manages some words out. ]

...Nevermind. I don't want to know.

[k2so]

Are you sure? [Kay drawn out the last vocal, sounding far more cheerful than he feels like.] All this has a reasonable explanation, I promise.

[Video]

[bigbadrose]

Really? That's a shame. Handy about liquid proof though. [JUST SO MUCH SMIRKING. K PLZ.]

Who is your boyfriend and why have people been licking him?

[Video]

[k2so]

It is? Doesn't vibrations make everything numb in the end? Yes, that is very helpful in many ways.

My boyfriend is an idiot and apparently very tasty. [A Beat] Oh, you are asking about his name. Cassian Andor, Attleton Deputy, cooking teacher and occasional catnip for vampires.

video;

[stairsbro]

What the actual fuck? What kind of backwards troglodyte in their underwear anime watching nonsense? Why are you being asked that?

[k2so]

If only they had asked me. But no, they talked about it behind my back.

[So very rude, Kay's is kind of annoyed, hence this post.]

...what is anime?

[Video]

[kalmaleader]

[Qubine's just gonna stare at the screen for a moment, his eyes twitching. What the actual fuck indeed...]

All right...I don't know what you are or what your "boyfriend" is...but is "licking" supposed to be an intimate gesture?

[Because even dragons don't do that. At least, none of the ones he's seen...]

[Video]

[k2so]

[There are dragons in Kay's Galaxy but this is the first time he hears one talking. Interesting.]

'Boyfriend' means partner, the person you want to spend your life with. Mine is kind of an idiot on occasion.

I think the intimacy of the licking gesture depends on the context. People licks food,animals lick clean their offsprings. In this case, the person who licked Cassian was trying to determine how tasty he was.

video;

[orlokbutterfly]

[Gale's no where to be seen in the feed right now, only his Mareep is while Gale is doing something nearby, having left the device on only to stay updated while he's screwing around with drink mixes. When he hears those words, though...

There's suddenly a fit of laughter. A fit of complete, utter laughter like this was the funniest shit he ever heard in his life. At the very least, it's the funniest thing he's heard in a long time.

The fact this was a public announcement makes it all the better. Because holy shit, really?!

Give him a few minutes. He's gonna need it.]

[k2so]

[Kay is happy to entertain.]

Try not to break a rib.

Video

[mikotwin]

[Congrats! You have seriously broken Minori's brain!!]

Why would you... anyone... have a vibrate function? You don't look like a cellphone.

[k2so]

[Ooooooppps. Sorry!]

Some people like giving each other massages. And no, I'm a droid not a cellphone. Names is K2SO.

[Video]

[generalgrievous]

.....

Was this a necessary announcement?

[Video]

[k2so]

Apparently so, because people can't ask me that kind of things to my face and they like to speculate about my functions.

[So, someone might be a bit more annoyed that it looks like at first glance.]

[Video]

[myfayevalentine]

*Faye isn't even trying to hide the amusement on her face*

Liquid proof, hmm? I suppose you are also wipe clean?

[Video]

[k2so]

[And she shouldn't. Kay is actually annoyed but him looking chirpy is his form of vengeance upon Cassian.]

Yes. And someone suggested using 409 cleaner.

video;

[punmodeactive]

The activity of "boyfriend licking" does not compute. For what purpose does this have?

[Also, you don't have a vibrate function? Kunzite does. Massage Mode ftw.]

[k2so]

I believe in this particular scenario it was to determine the tastiness of my partner. But there are other instances in which licking is done for another kind of recreational purposes.

[Oh, that's nice. He should get himself that mode.]

[Audio]

[melodiouspacifist]

Why would they ask you if you have a vibrate function?

[Audio]

[k2so]

My best bet is to benefit themselves from that said vibrate function in some fashion or to embarrass my partner. Given Cassian's reaction, the latter was accomplished.

video;

[ivegotadream]

What's the difference between liquid proof and just water proof? Both are liquids.

[Rapunzel looks so confused.]

video;

[k2so]

Yes, both are liquids but water-proof means you are only imperious to that, water. Liquid proofs means you are resistant, and won't get stained, by any kind of liquid, even if they have different density: milk, oils, etc.

video;

[moviemagic]

I bet you kind of wish you had a vibrate function, don't you?

[k2so]

A vibrate function wouldn't do anything to me, exactly, so if I could upgrade myself with it that would only be to the benefit of others.

But it's something to consider.

video;

[truesmiles]

[Fai is trying not to laugh because he understood all of this... He wondered if he should make a joke out of it or something.]

Needed to make what you do in your sex life public, huh? Good on you.

[k2so]

[Well said, Fai. If Kay could snicker, he would.]

What sex life?

[gotabadfeelingaboutthis]

[Han's not about to judge them, but he still can't help snickering a little at the post and the visuals it gives him.]

[k2so]

[Judge as much as you want, Han, everyone's doing it.]

[fairysoul]

You have a boyfriend? How wonderful!

[She then pauses and blinks at most of the rest.] ...Is he made out of sugar?

[k2so]

I do! It only took us 10 years to get together.

Heh, no. He's your regular human, it was a vampire who licked him. That's why he found him tasty.

[Video]

[aurabble]

...Do you want a vibrate function?

[Video]

[k2so]

Not particularly, I will get no benefits form it. But perhaps my partner would appreciate it.

[voice]

[theamazonqueen]

[there is really just a bunch of laughing.]

[Video]

[k2so]

Someone's having a good time. You're welcome.